I know this isn't exactly about pregnancy, but you guys are always the best at giving advice.
This is SUPER long, so I'm really sorry in advance.
So, Mike and I have been living with a friend from college for the past 7 1/2 months. All three of us moved into the apartment together. We are in the lease for a year (so there are 4 1/2 months left till we officially move out). Things started out great, but I just found out she is majorly backstabbing us.
Her and I used to be good friends. She comes home from work every day, talks to us about her day, and we sometimes go shopping together and hang out. Things seemed normal, but all of a sudden she started writing all the time on her myspace in bulletins, surveys, etc, how badly she desperately wants to move out. In one of the bulletins, out of nowhere she writes "Mike and Sarah hate me anyways"
I wrote to her and told her basically "what are you talking about? where did you get that idea from becuase we don't hate you at all". She said we never hang out so she feels unloved. I remind her how we invite her to movies all the time but she always declines, I go shopping with her tons, we make meals with her, we drink with her, we invite her to concerts, and tons of other stuff. She basically ignores what I said and said that we hide in our room at night. We do lay in our room at night, yes, but that is only because Mike gets home from work at 8:30 and I'm at school all day so its nice to lay down and wind down a little. I understand though how it can be offputting, so I vowed to try to change that.
Since then, I have left our bedroom door open every night. We invite her into our bedroom to watch tv shows and such like American Idol. Long story short, a friend IM's me and tells me she is writing about us in her livejournal saying we hate her again.
That aside, in the 7 1/2 months here, she has taken out the trash literally twice. When the trash can fills up, she won't even change the liner. She just places her trash ontop of the counter next to the trash can and lets the trash pile up on the counter until I change it and take care of it.
She won't do her dishes. She leaves them in the sink, and then when there are no bowls/forks/whatever left to eat with, she'll just wash ONE so she can use that one and put it back in the sink dirty when she is done.
For her birthday, we got her a card and a present. For our birthday, we didn't even get a "happy birthday". When it was Christmas, she was telling us and showing us presents she bought for like 15 people, and again, we didn't even get a card. I don't care that we didn't get presents or recipricated; giving is not about that. What I care about is we didn't even get the two words "happy birthday" when she KNEW when our birthdays were. It's like she didn't care at all, and that hurt.
She told me she thinks she makes a bigger effort to be friends than I do. I'm the one inviting her everywhere. She didn't ONCE invite me ANYWHERE since we moved here. I brought that up to her, and she says "no I invited you grocery shopping once". I was like "yeah...and I WENT WITH YOU". and she was like "yeah, but you know, I didn't think you really wanted to go. You seemed annoyed like you didn't want to be there.". I told her if I didnt want to go, I just wouldn't have gone, but she doesn't listen to that either. She said she is tired of trying, but can't give me any examples of how she tries. If anything, I think she tries to push away, yet she complains to everyone else about it all over her journal and myspace and sometimes I hear her on the phone talking about it to people. What the heck. I'm the one that constantly tries over and over to invite her places, and half the time SHE declines.
I feel like I try and try, and at least I am giving it a shot, right? I figured things are okay, at leaset she knows I'm trying.
However, she keeps on writing how she wishes and wishes and wishes she could move out. Mike and I respond to one of her bulletins about it (theres literally one at least every day), and we tell her in a super nice way "Hey, we are tired of the apartment too. We don't get any light through the windows and having no natural light is dragging us down. If you are really unhappy in the apartment and would like to move, we would be okay for it too and start looking for a new apartment". She is going to move in with her b/f when our lease is up here, so we figured it'd make her happy and she'd be glad to get out.
She writes back in a super nice manor as well saying "oh, you know, I understand how having no light is killing you. I hate it too. However, I want to stick it out till the lease is up so I can save up money with my job here for the big move".
We figured that was that, and no big deal. We'll just wait a few months.
but the other day, a mutual friend instant messaged me and told me she was writing about me in her livejournal. She said...
"Roommates still suck, apartments still suck, job still sucks, money still sucks. You get the picture.
Sarah and Mike felt the need to take time out of their sickenly useless lives to tell me I could move out early if I wanted to. I was steamed about that for a day or so. I mean, come on; how can you tell me you would be happier if the apartment was "set up differently"? Pretty sure that doesn't mean the furniture, broseph."
So woahhhh. Hold up! We never told her we wanted to move the furnature! We just said that having no natural light coming into the apartment is hard on us!
Why do we suck when we've been nothing but nice?
What got me the most is her saying we have "sickeningly useless lives". I am taking 21 credits this semester at school, working towards a fulfilling career. I am also working a great job as a nanny bringing in good money. Mike is working full time, and he's going into grad school to further his career. We both have a healthy, happy, loving relationship with lots of friends who visit us most weekends. She works 3 days a week in a retail store, isn't going to college, and is in a long distance relationship. I don't understand how she thinks our lives are useless when we are working towards so many great things and still manage to maintain healthy relationships and friendships.
I overheard her on the phone the other day saying that we talk about her behind her back to other people and are back stabbing, but we never have. I'm wondering if maybe she is just saying this stuff to people for attention? I don't understand what is going on.
Anyways, we are half looking at new places on the internet to move into before our lease is up. We can break the lease and not have to pay as long as our realtor finds someone else to rent the apartment, which should be super easy. Her name isn't on the lease at all; only Mike's and mine is, so that wouldn't be a problem.
The only thing is, I still feel extreme guilt wanting to move out. Should I feel guilty about wanting to leave? Is it bad and/or backstabing since she does have places to go? (back to her family, with her friends, 4 months early with her boyfriend). I feel like I've tried so hard but nothing is enough.
What is the right thing to do? Should I just stick it out for these four months knowing that she talks behind my back about me and hates me when I thought things were okay and we were friends?
I don't want to confront her about the livejournal entry, just because I don't want the mutual friend who told me to get in trouble.
I'm just lost and need major advice.