Broken Hearted Forum - Rejected by a girl

entices1

replied on February 9th, 2008

Supporter

Re: Rejected by a girl

I'm sorry you're going through this bump in the road but you really must get past it. I know you don't enjoy being miserable but you're holding on to this so tightly that it seems to have become an obsession.

You don't say how old you are; regardless, you need to make a firm commitment to yourself that you will move on.

1. Get rid of anything you still have that has any connection to her. No pictures, no letters, nothing. If you have a cell phone, get rid of her telephone number. If you have still have those around you'll never climb out of your rut.

2. Make yourself take up a new interest. You need something to fill the emptiness you feel. Even going to a gym--physical exercise is a good way to get exhausted and fall to sleep (and make yourself feel better). You'll meet people who will have at least one thing in common with you and that's a way to begin friendships with both men and women.

3. Find a way to enjoy one thing each day. It doesn't have to be anything big--a pretty sunrise, a song on the radio, something in a store window, whatever. If you can find a bit of happiness in your sorrow you know you'll feel better.

4. Whenever you feel a thought about her coming on, get it out of your mind and put something else in there. It will be difficult initially but over time she will become a distant memory. Don't let your sadness continue to rule your life.

Hope these few things help.

Good luck and do keep posting.

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Fighter_in_the_Sky_

replied on February 9th, 2008

Experienced User

Yes, I've been rejected by girls too...In fact, I've never been on a date, went to a school dance (uh, Tolo is tonight, I'm not going), had a girlfriend, or kissed a girl. Just try to find something else to do like studying or working out, I prefer working out since it puts less strain on ur already confused mind.

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jimbo101

replied on February 10th, 2008

New User

Re: Rejected by a girl

entices1 wrote:

I'm sorry you're going through this bump in the road but you really must get past it. I know you don't enjoy being miserable but you're holding on to this so tightly that it seems to have become an obsession.

You don't say how old you are; regardless, you need to make a firm commitment to yourself that you will move on.

1. Get rid of anything you still have that has any connection to her. No pictures, no letters, nothing. If you have a cell phone, get rid of her telephone number. If you have still have those around you'll never climb out of your rut.

2. Make yourself take up a new interest. You need something to fill the emptiness you feel. Even going to a gym--physical exercise is a good way to get exhausted and fall to sleep (and make yourself feel better). You'll meet people who will have at least one thing in common with you and that's a way to begin friendships with both men and women.

3. Find a way to enjoy one thing each day. It doesn't have to be anything big--a pretty sunrise, a song on the radio, something in a store window, whatever. If you can find a bit of happiness in your sorrow you know you'll feel better.

4. Whenever you feel a thought about her coming on, get it out of your mind and put something else in there. It will be difficult initially but over time she will become a distant memory. Don't let your sadness continue to rule your life.

Hope these few things help.

Good luck and do keep posting.

Thank you very much for the advice. For your information, I'm 23 years old and she was my first crush. I guess "the first cut is the deepest". That's why i'm having problem to forget her. I feel like a pathetic loser because i'm stuck and can't move on. Maybe it was my fault that she rejected me...i don't fully understand the situation though.

Yes, i have deleted her photos, cellphone number, email and messages long time ago. Now i'm trying hard to delete her from my mind,which is the hardest part. She's living in the same town with me. So, sometimes i will bump into her with boyfriend somewhere in the town. I really feel sad whenever i see her face. I plan to work in other town or country right after i graduated from university (Currently, I'm a post-graduate student), which is two years from now. So that i don't have to see her again. Do you think it's a good idea to forget someone and move on?

I lost my confidence and self-esteem now too. Life's so hard..

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jimbo101

replied on February 10th, 2008

New User

MMAFighter wrote:

Yes, I've been rejected by girls too...In fact, I've never been on a date, went to a school dance (uh, Tolo is tonight, I'm not going), had a girlfriend, or kissed a girl. Just try to find something else to do like studying or working out, I prefer working out since it puts less strain on ur already confused mind.

Thanks for the advise pal. I agree with you that studying and working out will help. But the thought about her will come back in no time. For example, listening to song, going out to some places, going to bed, etc. Sometimes I just can't help to think about her. The more i try to forget, the worst it gets...I'm trying to think optimistic though. Someday i'll find my true happiness.

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Fighter_in_the_Sky_

replied on February 10th, 2008

Experienced User

Yes, life is going to be hard for you for quite some time now despite your measures taken to forget about her. Hopefully another girl comes into ur life and takes the place she had in ur heart.

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jimbo101

replied on February 10th, 2008

New User

MMAFighter wrote:

Yes, life is going to be hard for you for quite some time now despite your measures taken to forget about her. Hopefully another girl comes into ur life and takes the place she had in ur heart.

Yea, i hope so. Anyway, thank you for the words of comfort. I really appreciate it.

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entices1

replied on February 10th, 2008

Supporter

Re: Rejected by a girl

In your case it is *absolutely* the thing to do to forget her and move on.

You are not a pathetic loser--everyone, but *everyone* goes through something like this. There are lessons to be learned from this and you will see them in time.

You're right, life is very difficult right now, but you must make yourself move on. Holding on to a memory can be very de--de--de-something. Destructive? Damaging? The word won't come to me.

You are fortunate in that you are in uni and can put yourself into your studies. Are you doing straight research or are you still in classes? If you're in classes, maybe you can organize a study group and meet people that way. It will help a great deal.

A relationship will come when you least expect. That's what happened to me. I never planned on getting married. I met this guy when I was 33 and our courtship lasted for five years (we both wanted to be certain).

One other thing--do everything you want to do as soon as you can once you can afford it. My First True Love and I had goals that I ended up doing before I ever got involved again. I'm glad I did them because now I can't (live too far, lack of time and/or money, whatever).

Good luck, and do keep posting.

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jimbo101

replied on February 11th, 2008

New User

Re: Rejected by a girl

entices1 wrote:

In your case it is *absolutely* the thing to do to forget her and move on.

You are not a pathetic loser--everyone, but *everyone* goes through something like this. There are lessons to be learned from this and you will see them in time.

You're right, life is very difficult right now, but you must make yourself move on. Holding on to a memory can be very de--de--de-something. Destructive? Damaging? The word won't come to me.

You are fortunate in that you are in uni and can put yourself into your studies. Are you doing straight research or are you still in classes? If you're in classes, maybe you can organize a study group and meet people that way. It will help a great deal.

A relationship will come when you least expect. That's what happened to me. I never planned on getting married. I met this guy when I was 33 and our courtship lasted for five years (we both wanted to be certain).

One other thing--do everything you want to do as soon as you can once you can afford it. My First True Love and I had goals that I ended up doing before I ever got involved again. I'm glad I did them because now I can't (live too far, lack of time and/or money, whatever).

Good luck, and do keep posting.

Thanks for the reply. Actually, I'm doing straight research so I'm not attending any classes anymore. Though i have to meet my professor few times a month and go to the library. The university brings memories about her too 'cos this is the place where i first met her.In fact, we used to be in the same class in 1st degree. Back then she treated me nicely and gave me hope. Well, it turned out to be a false hope. Now she's not further her study anymore, which is a good thing cos i don't have to see her in campus. This will help me to forget her.

I really wish i could bring back my feelings during high school. Back then i was happy and didn't have any problem with relationship. Now it is totally different. I'm wondering why the one i fancy never fancies me...

I do agree with you that things will happen when we least expect. Guess i expect too much in the past. Some lessons are incredibly hard to learn. Maybe i will go traveling if i can afford it.

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Fighter_in_the_Sky_

replied on February 11th, 2008

Experienced User

Yes, I also need to learn that wonderful things will happen when we least expect them. Sometimes I let my frustration with having been single my whole life (not to mention never being kissed, going to a school dance, or having been on a date) ruin my attitude, but hopefully I get more positive.

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jimbo101

replied on February 11th, 2008

New User

MMAFighter wrote:

Yes, I also need to learn that wonderful things will happen when we least expect them. Sometimes I let my frustration with having been single my whole life (not to mention never being kissed, going to a school dance, or having been on a date) ruin my attitude, but hopefully I get more positive.

Honestly, I don't have that kind of problem when i was at your age. I mean i was happy at that time even though i never went to a school dance, been on a date, etc. I only have that kind of problem after i've been rejected 2 years ago...scary experience! I really wish you will find your true love in near future! Good luck buddy!

By the way, are you a shy person? Why u skipped school dance?

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Fighter_in_the_Sky_

replied on February 11th, 2008

Experienced User

I don't like school dances. I'm self-conscious about my dance skills since I have none and I also never get asked at Tolo (girls ask guys) and I don't have the guts or interest to ask anyone to Homecoming.

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jimbo101

replied on February 11th, 2008

New User

MMAFighter wrote:

I don't like school dances. I'm self-conscious about my dance skills since I have none and I also never get asked at Tolo (girls ask guys) and I don't have the guts or interest to ask anyone to Homecoming.

Oh i see...i feel sorry for you. Sounds like u are pretty shy person. I'm sure Tolo or Homecoming is more than dancing. I bet there are a lot of activities in there that suited you. Anyway, don't worry too much mate, sometimes u would wish u are not in a romantic relationship. Being single is not too bad rite?

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Fighter_in_the_Sky_

replied on February 11th, 2008

Experienced User

lol, it seems bad when u've never been romantically involved before

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jimbo101

replied on February 12th, 2008

New User

MMAFighter wrote:

lol, it seems bad when u've never been romantically involved before

lol..i think so. I'm not really sure. Mix feelings.

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anups

replied on June 8th, 2009

New User

listen bro

i dont know who you are...but d samething happend to me.....nd most pathetic thng is dat... inever lose hope...dat sumday she will accept my love...but u know wat????dat is caca...jst hav to move ON...learning phase of life

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hahahahhaaaaaaaa

replied on June 20th, 2009

New User

rejection

Here is the best advice:

Reading your scenario, there are three different ways to go about this
1) You accept you have no chance. Delete all contact, I mean EVERYTHING. Accept that you will NEVER EVER get back with her. Move on.

2) You think you have a chance. You MUST keep a bit of contact, but when you do contact or interact, strictly ACT AS ONLY A FRIEND AND THAT YOU ARE TOTALLY FINE WITH IT. Don't ACT DESPARATE AT ALL. Be CONFIDENT and CONTENT. She MAY or MAYNOT come around.

3) This is the best option in my opinion. Keep slight contact, keep it cool - see where you went wrong - improve your life - grow as a person and when you are shinning with confidence and good fortune, let her know that and make her REGRET the hell out of the fact that she didn't give you a chance. Then, sleep with HER, and then dump and bail her.

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