Thankfully no. I can say with no problem My children come before anyone or anything in this world. I can't understand any mother who doesn't feel the same way.

i was just in that situation wed night thru thur afternoon with my destiny she had a bulging eardrum and wouldnt stop crying/screaming and i couldnt do anything to make her pain go away its heartbreaking. my kids are my weverything my air my life.

Sounds like my b/f :/ He only has empathy for our son when its convienant for him. >< I don't understand ppl like that and it hurts to see anyone with a child and not do w/e it takes to make them feel better.

I cried so hard when Jay got her shots

I can ignore her hungry cry and colicky cry, those don't upset me. But when she's in pain, man oh man ;-;

Thanks for the responses, ladies. Seeing parents who don't do everything in their power to ease their children's suffering breaks my heart.

Working with children and teens that have been removed from their family's homes because of abuse, I have seen and heard of some terrible things that people have done to their children. It really sickens me.

Then the family members come to visit and we are expected to be sweet and understanding of their loss. Blah

Every new parent goes through a learning curve, but it amazes me how some people simply can't see the difference between right and wrong.

Thomas's mom is exactly like that. She babysits Dante's cousin whose 6 months old, and he spends the whole day either in his car seat or in a swing. She will only hold him when he's being chaned or fed. Even then sh'll tell him to shut up when he starts to cry. She can stand there and llisten to him cry for hours. Its really sickening.Thomas and I have said stuff to her about it, but she says she knows how to raise kids cuz she had five boys.

If she was such a great parent, all her kids wouldnt have dropped out of hs.

She is not allowed to watch Dante unless Thomas is there.

"Self soothing" and letting their kids "cry it out" is complete bull. If a baby cries, they do it for a reason. I think it's child neglect.

me too

Err, what? Please tell me I'm reading this wrong. You don't ignore her when she cries for food, right?

I was thinking the same. I think she just meant it's not as bad as when she's in pain.

LOL no! I meant when she's crying for food or when she's up all nigh I can block it out and not get upset. I don't sit there and let her cry, I get her bottle!

Some people can just sit there and not fix the problem. They make excuses. It sickens me.

it depends if its something silly like falling over lol. if so they will run to you all the time. they use it against you grrrr lol

but if they actually have seriously hurt themselvs or arnt well. mummys ere to help

wow...this post seems like it's indirectly directed at someone in specific...

I KNOW ther are people out there that neglect their children. But there are also people out there that don't have the means to get what they need.

i.e, a car, money, husband/boyfriend, etc...

Sarah

I don't like judging people's parenting, but there are some people that have NO REASON being a parent.

My friend (Sam) is being nice enough to let her brother and his girlfriend (Jen) stay at her house. She has a 10mo old and Jen has a 4mo old. The 4mo old is either in her swing or carseat, and EVERY time she cries, Jen just pops a bottle in her mouth and leaves it there. She'll eat almost 16oz each time, then she won't even change her when her diaper is wet, so it leaks all over her clothes and carseat, and of course those never get clean. She was there for 2 weeks and that baby never ONCE got a bath. Sam offered a million times to get the baby bath out, but Jen refused saying 'oh, she'll be fine'. GRR. Plus, Jen gets food stamps, WIC, AND cash assistance, but eats all of Sam's food AND uses SAM'S baby formula AND cereal. She puts it in her bottle so she sleeps better at night.

I know there's worse, but I just can't stand when people NEVER hold their baby, not even to feed them. How can someone even do that? I don't understand some people.

I admit I am not as vigilant with my second child. The other day she fell off her tike head first and I didn't sprint out to get her, but I did hurry. I just worry a lot less now. I think it's probably because some bad owies have really happened ie skull fractures, concussions, etc and I dealt with those just fine so I nnknow frantic worry is unnecessary to help them with whatever owie they are having at the time. I still worry, just not obsessively. One thing Hannah has taught me is that you are not in charge of anything when you have kids, no matter how much you think you are!

I see your overall point, but falling head first? I'd rush out there at the speed of light.

Anyway, that's a little different than what I am trying to get at. By empathy I mean feeling your child's pain. Not exactly or literally, but more than just sympathizing.

If a child is sick or hurt, they are suffering. An empathetic mother will know that her child is suffering, and do anything in her power to ease the pain.

Infants do, older children not so much.

Calling "cry it out" neglectful "caca" is extremely closed minded and just plain ignorant. Different kids need different things. My daughter needed to be sleep trained. She was a nightmare, I was rapidly losing my sanity and we were both exhausted. You better beleive I let her cry it out when I eventually decided to sleep train her (besides, when I went in to comfort her it just pissed her off more increased the hysterics unless I brought her to bed with me). It took three nights until she was sleeping through the night, she was a happier baby because of it (she needed sleep, she just didn't want it and didn't know how. That was her reason for screaming) and I was a far happier and better mom once we got it out of the way. She was 15 months.

Not much older than that she'd scream like I was killing her if I didn't feed her french fries, let her play with electrical outlets or allow her to climb on the counters while I was boiling water and chopping veggies. In those cases you better beleive I let her scream bloody homicide rather than catering to her.

Now that she's a toddler she knows what she wants and cries if she can't have it. She can't have everything she wants, she's the child and I'm the parent. I decide what's good for her and she can figure out how to deal with it. End of story.

For the record, I know people who do cater to every scream (excluding the ones that occur when kids are kids are pissed you're stopping them from seriously injuring themselves) and most are incredibly stressed and have over-indulged spoilt children. I don't. I prefer my way.

Every parent is entitled to their own style whether it's total attachment parenting (a great choice for many, but not for me and my daughter) and some prefer to let their child sort things out for themselves (more my style). Parents that choose the former are not incredible super parents and those who chose the later are not negligent morons. They're all just doing what's best for themselves and their kids. There's no harm in that.

To answer the OP. I absolutely cannot sit and listen to my child cry in pain. It breaks my heart to see her sick or hurting (the first few times each happened I cried far more than she did).

I do try very hard to wait for her reaction before I pop into panic mode, but she's pretty good about not crying unless she's really hurt herself. I've got a bit of a trick for when she does something that looks like it hurts, when I see the bottom lip wobble I yell "quick, stand up!" if she does it and continues to cry a little (usually she's forgotten about the small pains by the time she's up, it's a great distraction) I know she's just scared herself. If she can't get up or is sobbing I have to try hard not to cry too while I figure out what to do!