Having a few close friends rather than many acquaintances is definitely a good thing. It gives you a strong support system if you really need one of people who will love you for you and help you no matter what.

It is always rough when going through a break up, especially if you are with someone for 4 1/2 years. It's completely natural to feel that empty and sad. Even if you knew that breaking up is the right thing to do, there is still a void there since you were with him for so long. It's kind of like moving away from home...you know its good for you, but you still miss it and have this empty place in your heart for it.

Over time it will get better and you will feel less empty. You just have to hang in there. Do some things for yourself! Go out and get a manicure, see a movie with your friends, and try your best not to let it get you down. It may plague your mind now, but as time goes on you will see flashes of time where you won't be thinking about it, even if its for just 5 minutes. Then gradually those 5 minutes will turn into 10 min, and an hour, and hours at a time, and eventually it'll just be a residual thought that rarely comes back.

Take advantage of the wonderful friends of yours and just try your best to get back out there. Also, don't feel the need to do everything. Take some nights to yourself as well. Run a warm bath with candles, read a book, and relax. Breathe.

Have you ever done yoga before? Yoga has helped me through a lot of rough times. It won't make you forget, but it will relax your mind and body and make you feel less stressed about what is going on, even if only for an hour or two. It's nice to get some relief. The same goes for meditation.

Hi there! iv been there and it aint pretty! and if your like me, and go through sunderland alot, ya always seem to meet someone who ya feel is perfect!
But in my opinion.....i think you need to sit down and think whats more important to you. i know what you mean with the difference from being lonely and being alone. the difference is the lonely side of it all is that you miss certain things in your life what you used to have. and being alone is what you have lost. dont rush into it all dafty and find an alternative to breaking your heart everytime. you'll be fine...as long as ya keep ya head well high and put yourself first for a change.

Take Care

Hi, Lion79:

I'm sorry this has hit you so hard. A breakup of that length is going to hurt regardless of the circumstances because you don't just forget about a person you have been that close to.

I agree it is a good thing to have family or friends around at this time, but you realise that you will have to deal with the real pain yourself. Loneliness is another factor that will add to the depression.

As far as the other guy you fancy, I hope you are ready for another relationship this soon. I know you've heard of rebound relationships, so just be careful that you're doing it for the right reasons.

I'm sorry to hear that you obsess on guys you like because that could be a problem until you get past your former relationship. There is no magic pill that makes the sadness go away either. You just have to establish a new routine and try to stick to it.

Thanks for all replies.

I'm not looking for a relationship at the minute, cuz that's why I broke up with my ex. I felt I was too young to be so involved at the min, and I just wanna get out there and do more things. I'm feeling a lot better now, generally a bit happier and I've found I'm thinking less of him. Basically the situation is that we did sleep together and I couldn't get him out of my mind, and because I didn't want to go out with anyone he's got himself another girl and I sort of knew this would happen and didn't expect him to be exclusive, but I asked him if he wanted to stay friends and he basically said no, so I feel like he's just used me. I still talk to him online and stuff but I don't think he wants to see me. At first it hurt, but now I'm trying not to care. I know what I have to do now, and that's to get out there. I went bowling with friends the other night and it made me forget everything, and since I've felt a lot better. The only thing is that I feel like I could do with more friends atm because even though I love my friends whenever I want to go somewhere or do something with them it's such a chore to get them to come out because of busy schedules, different working patterns and things.
I know I have to deal with it myself, and the worst time I get it is when I'm home alone on a night time, and I 'm thinking of all the people out having a good time so why aren't I? but realistically I know that they sometimes are alone and feel bad about it. I dunno why, but the past couple of days has made me feel a lot better, and I want to use this to change my life. At the minute it's hard because I'm out of my comfort zone, which I've been in for so long and it's a huge adjustment, but I want to turn it into a positive thing and make more use of other people around me, and go out more with friends and stuff like that.
New year, new me, right?
Thanks for your help, I just needed to vent and for someone to understand what's going on. I've tried meditation before but I just get bored lol. Maybe I will try yoga, but I'd prefer to do it with someone else rather than on my own.
Actually, you know what's really silly? I've found something that's made me feel more positive, and it was a dream I had about a week ago. I dreamt there was some sort of demon in the middle of the road, and loads of people were trying to fight him and get past but no one could, and in my dream I had wings and I was really strong and I beat it. I know it sounds weird but when I feel down and think about that dream it makes me feel better because it makes me think that it must have meant something lol.
I'm slightly worried that this high I'm on this week will bring me back down, cuz my emotions are all over the place. I guess we'll see.