I suffer from depression.
And i used to cut and bruise myself when i was 12 and 13.
at age 14 my school found my scars and brusies, and my mother found out.
Now, im finding myself depressed and i have no way to get my mind on somthing else.
IF you want to know, the reason i cut and bruise-
when i get sad/mad/hurt i cry and i feel like im going to explode. and by cutting myself it kinda relives me. And when i see the blood, i feel comfortable, and my mind is now on that. And same with brusing, when i get depressed, i take an object and it myself with it multipule times until i cant really feel that place anymore, and when i dont that, i feel relived.
Now, my mom can see if i cut or bruise.
And somtimes i cut my legs. but now i seem to be obsessed with blood.
I know this isnt normal.
please help me.
i need to know what to do when i get depressed and feel the urge to harm my body.
It is normal to feel the urge to hurt yourself when you are upset if you have learned in the past that hurting yourself soothes you. However, it is not healthy.
Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Talking to people can help a lot.
How did your mom react when she found out what is going on? Was she supportive? Could she be possibly someone you could go to and seek help from?
When you get sad/mad/hurt, you say you feel like you are going to explode and cutting yourself relieves you. I used to be the same exact way. Any time that any little thing would set me off, I'd feel like I need to run to the knife or punch a wall or do something like that. Something that really helps would be to get a punching bag to hit...pick up boxing, or maybe pick up an activity similar to that. It really gives you a great outlet for aggression.
Sometimes even just screaming into a pillow feels great.
As for saying that seeing the blood and being obsessed with it...a way to help yourself with that if you want is to take red food coloring, and place it/squeeze it where you normally cut yourself across your leg/arm/wherever. This way it looks like blood and you get the visual stimulation without harming yourself. I know it might seem lame, but you should really give it a shot. It can be just as calming.
I'm the same way about the blood- i tried burns or bruises but nothing seemed to help/ relieve the way that blood did. For me, it was asthough all of my tension and stress and everything poured out with it. I really like the food coloring idea. Iv'e also been told that using red markers, coloring instead of actually on an area may help as well.