using bi-polar disorder and Fibrmyalgia as excuses Posted: 02-05-08 16:56pm
OK to get started i am 22 years old
married to my 23 year old wife we have
been together for about 3 years now she
had a 5 year old and weve since had a baby
shes 1 1/2 now.
Ok i was always sceptical about why she
got with me (me being 6'7 440 lbs at the
time) her being skinny great figured
beautiful woman(she did have a calcium
deffieciency wich made her teeth decay
quikly during pregnacy) ok well i came to
feel she did really love me and after
about 3 months she proposed to me. One of
her friends spread a rumor that the only
reason she was with me was to get her
teeth fixed. well i didnt believe her. My
wife after about a year begged me to get
her pregnant even bribing non safe sex
with other acts in the bedroom. Well she
got pregnant and had the baby.. (oh and my
wife has Fibromyalgia (spelling) basically
a diesease that make you hurt all over all
the time wich there was no treatment for
up until a few months ago) OK well when
our daughter was about 1 year we got
married. Before we were married we always
entertained the idea of an open
relationship(sleeping with other people)
but we never acted on it when we got
married my wife said she didnt want to
have that option anymore and i agreed to
stop(granted we never actually slept with
ne one else). Ok well ive only been with 1
other girl besides my wife and that was my
only other g/f we were together a month.
My wife on the other hand has had many
partners before me and had been in her
longest relationship about 4 months. My
wife has always told me how she never
really got off during sex because she was
raped when she was little. so she said it
was more of an emotional thing ya know.
well weve had rough spots in our
relationship but good ones too. We have
only been having sex about every month if
even that much. I noted it to the cold
mostly because we dont have a heater in
our bedroom so my wife sleeps in the
living room. well ne ways my wife wanted
to say she wants to have an open
relationship again i agreed thinking this
a good idea. well everyweekend she would
go out with her friend to clubs( i dont
like clubs but i have made the effort to
go with her) She said she just wanted to
get out some. well i confronted her that i
loved her to much and didnt want to have
the relationship be open anymore and that
i didnt mind her going out and danging but
i didnt want her being with other men. She
said that she had recently been diagnosed
with Bi-polar disorder and that she said
it caused sexual urges etc... and that the
reason that she is doing this is so that
she wont leave me because she cant take
being in one place so long cause she was
so used to change from her horrible
childhood that her mother cycled through
men and locations so much. Well i cried
and pleaded and thought it was over. The
same night i took my kids to see their
grandma when i got home there was a note
from my wife saying i went out to the club
dont be mad i love you. well she slept
with a guy she met online that night. I
was so hurt and cried to her about what
she did she denied it all at first and
even made up elaborate lies about coming
home at 4:30 when the club closes at 2:00
she said she was a little drunk and was
resting in car and fell asleep and the
bartender woke her up when he went into
the parking lot. (yeah we did agree we
didnt want to know but i was telling her i
did want to know ) she liead about other
times she went out to. but some how it got
turned back around on me and made me feel
like i was wrong. I try my best to make
things work with my wife but its so hard
dealing with the stress she puts on me
from her bi-polar and fibro disorders. And
the research i did on Hypersexuality
caused by bi-polar just sais it increses
sex drive but she hasnt been sleeping with
me at all. She sais that she likes change
and that she likes new things and thats
why she likes sex with new guys. OH YEAH
and this all started right after she got
her teeth fixed. I have no idea what to do
i love her so much but she still want to
sleep with other guys and i still havent
gotten any sexual attention in over 2
months. Should i also go sleep with other
girls or not she tells me i should but i
just want her to stop. please tell me what
i should do or just ne advice on my
situation
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bbfeet9
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 62 Location: ,
You Asked Posted: 02-05-08 17:30pm
Dude.. Your wife is a hound. Sorry, but i
calls it as i sees it. Bi-polar my foot.
Just an excuse. But honey, i'm so messed
up in the head that i just don't know what
to do...blah blah blah..... Now that you
shelled out the do re me to get her some
of them new store bought chompers, the
chick is on a roll. Horrible childhood,
jeez louise, i had one of them to, but you
don't see me all bi-polar and getting a
mad case of fibromyalgia (spell check
please). Listen guy, you sound okay, but
this wife of yours is gonna send you
straight to the funny farm. If you love
her, ship her stank ass off to a
therapist. If you don't think that you
wanna continue this "marraige" (notice the
quotes) say see ya. She sleeps on the
sofa!!! Give me a break. With a big burley
cuddle bug of a husband, who needs heat.
Don't sleep around. Don't stoop to her
level of ignorance, unless your bi-polar
too. You got a kid to think of. Baby
already has a nasty mom, you need to be a
good dad. Sorry, don't mean to offend,
just speaking my mind. Good luck hon.
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Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-08 18:08pm
Have to agree 100% with bbfeet9. Please
don't descend to her level. Think of your
child. To be honest, I think if you just
up and left with the baby, the mother
wouldn't follow. She's having a great
time with her new teeth. Let her go bite
someone else's arse!
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Tmddyan
Moderator
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 4426 Location: post falls, id usa
Thanks: 99
Thanked:68
Posted: 02-05-08 18:54pm
yeah um bipolar doesnt cause hypersexual
activity. i think its an excuse and the
fibro? i think if she hurt youd know it
and she wouldnt want to be touched.
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Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-08 19:10pm
Yes, fibro is pretty debilitating.
Sufferers generally do NOT go out clubbing
too often with it! My fibro friend has
difficulty walking round the house,
staying awake etc.
I feel for you, fatherof2 - let us know
what happens.
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antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 998 Location: IL
Thanks: 49
Thanked:18
Posted: 02-05-08 22:27pm
Wish I could give you some words of wisdom
but your wife is using her medical
conditions to run you. Bipolar disorder
does cause hypersexuality and if the
person is unstable they are likely to act
on it. Have you asked your wife why she is
not taking her medication? Is she seeing a
psychiatrist for treatment? Fibromyalgia
is debilitating. Most people don't feel
like walking let alone dancing. Your wife
is being selfish and thinks you can't see
her ruse. Call her on her behavior and
tell her to get help or get lost. She is
going to hurt you and your little one.
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fatherof2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 02-05-08 23:44pm
well she sais that she does love me and
that the only reason she is going out and
dancing and sleeping with other guys is
beacuase she cant take living iwthout
change
and she sais if she leaves she will take
my daughter with her. even if i do get to
keep my daughter the 5 year old i mean
what would happen to her i dont know how
my wife would be on her own. I dont know
she just made it seem like us having an
open relationship was good but its not i
hurt so much thinking about it.
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antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 998 Location: IL
Thanks: 49
Thanked:18
Posted: 02-06-08 01:52am
Why is she not getting any treatment? It
does not sound like she is stable at this
time. That instability can effect
judgment. Is she seeing a doc about her
bipolar disorder? If so you may think
about talking to her doc and the present
situation. The doctor may not tell you
much about her treatment but at least the
doctor is aware of her present condition.
I wish I had more to offer. She needs to
get herself to a doctor. You could attempt
to tell her how you feel, again. Let her
know this type of relationship is not what
you want and is not good for the children.
Sorry, I am afraid this is little help.
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BoneyardDiva
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007 Posts: 72 Location: Nunya, USA
Posted: 02-06-08 21:45pm
I've heard that "borderline personality
disorder" personalities tend to sleep
around a lot. This may be something she's
mistaking for bipolar disorder. Borderline
PD is a personality disorder, not a mental
disorder. It sounds like your wife is
taking full advantage of your ignorance
& walking all over you.
Please see a therapist. You need to get
your head straight so that you can take
care of your children & keep yourself
sane.
BYD
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maniacgurl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Feb 2008 Posts: 12 Location: South Carolina, USA
Posted: 02-12-08 07:18am
tell her to get Treatment!! if she is
truly bipolar the doc will know and
medicate accordingly and if she refuses to
take meds talk to the pdoc about putting
her in a mental institution for about 72
hours to 14 days for a mental eval and
stabilization on proper meds!!! She needs
this! If not leave her and file for full
custody of the kids with a good reputable
lawyer. She has a mental disorder that is
not being treated and that is child
neglect!!!!
