The use of xanax should be dependent on the nature of the problem. Do you feel this is a physical arousal problem (i.e. the glans not being sensitive enough to feel the penetration) or whether it's a sensual arousal problem (i.e. not enough visual stimulation)?
Xanax will only calm you down, eliminate anxiety. It actually reduces physical sensitivity. I would focus on improving sensual arousal first and foremost.
Hi, I have performance anxiety too. What works for me is three things, Viagra first,then wait half hour and have 3 drinks and a medium dose of xanax 1.5mg. I just started trying this and it has worked 5 for 5, I have regained confidence, and have been much more happy.So you keep trying and don't quite, and best of luck to you.
PS get you meds from a Doc, online are sometimes fake.
Oh and it helps if you let her know you are nervous.