You can get herpes from her at any time whether she has an outbreak or not. The virus is always in your body and it always can be passed. There is no cure for herpes. So any time you have sex with her (even protected sex) there is a chance that you could get it.

But there are ways to help prevent her from passing it to you. The first and most important is condoms and dental dams. Herpes is spread by skin to skin contact not by bodily fluids. There still is a chance of getting herpes even if you wear a condom, but condoms are still very affective.

She can also take daily medication to reduce her chances of having outbreaks and of passing it to other people. The medication combined with condoms can protect you very well. But there is still a chance. I know a couple who have been married for 10 years and the wife is still herpes free. So you still can have a fun healthy sexual realtionship.

There is just a couple things you have to think about. First how much do you care for this girl. From what you have stated you like her but the relationship hasnt gotten any further than that. Now is the time to ask yourself if YOU would be willing to live with herpes. What if you do have sex with her and a few months or even years down the road you get it and then you break up. Then you are stuck with it and have to tell the next person you are with. This is a huge commitment to another person. but if in your heart you know that you do not want herpes then I suggest you tell her as soon as possible. Do not lead her on. This could be very difficult but you still have to look out for yourself. i have herpes and I wish I would have had the choice. Best wishes and feel free to post. I know how hard this can be. Maybe I can help

man your post is much apprechated but at the same time it saddens me cos I know in my heart that I can not pursue this relationship to any further then it is right now.

Thanks for the reply. I have not had sex with her. Basically I have been doing my own research on this and everything you said is basically what I have discovered anyway. Apart from I have never heard of dental dams.

In my heart I know I would blame her for this if I got it. All tho it would not be her fault as she has been honest with me. I have to admit that I have been flirting with her and her with me. That's going to have to stop. Its not far on me or her. God this is messed up man. I feel really sad for her. Its easy for me just to say err no I don't wont that I think I well what for someone else.

How do I even stay friends with her when I know I fancy the nickers of her but would never dear touch her.

Your very brave and she is. God that sounds like am patronizing you. Am not.

Thank you for your post. Its not what I wanted to hear but is the truth and I have to face some facts. what I feel its not going to be as bad as how you and ppl like this girl feels.

I well fined a way to be friends with her. That I know.

Thanks again.

please do not beat yourself up to much about this. I think you are making the right choice and I know that you feel the same. You have been honest with her and she has been honest with you and it just isnt going to work. Sometimes that just happens even if herpes isnt involved. What matters most is that you are giving her all the respect she deserves.

I know it will be hard for you to tell her and there really is no easy way that I can imagine, but just tell her how you feel. She may need to accept that first but I think its great that you too can be friends again.

Give her support. She will find a special someone. I did twice!