I'm kind of at a loss of what to do... My
fiance and I have been together since we
were 14 and 15 and he is about to turn 27
so I think if anyone knows him pretty well
it would be me. Within the last couple of
months he has slowly been doing things
that I don't really know how to explain.
He has got the idea in his head that I'm
out to get him. Lately he's become very
verbally abusive. Everything is my fault.
He's always worried that I'm messing with
his stuff. He's had a best friend for 8
years and now with the last two months he
says that he hates him and isn't quite
sure why they were ever friends. About 4
weeks ago he bought an Xbox 360 and all of
the equipment that goes with it (we are
struggling to get by after Christmas as it
is) then he took it all back and said he's
never going to play it. Anytime I
questioned him about any of it he just
started screaming at me. Yesterday I went
to do yard work and his best friend was
over. I took a break to come in and say
hi. When I went out to do some more his
best friend asked if I needed them to help
me and I said not to bother (he refuses to
do anything accept sit in front of the TV
or computer). When I went outside he
started screaming at his best friend and
told him not to fall for any of my games.
I genuinely didn't want any help. I think
that yard work is pretty soothing. This
morning he couldn't find his belt. He
started kicking the doors and calling me
stupid and said that I'm always loosing
his things and he's going be late to work.
I've never seen anyone so outraged about
loosing anything. You would have thought I
lost a winning lottery ticket. He
eventually found it and left. We've been
together forever and I've never seen him
act this way. It's like someone very mean
and angry and hateful just took over. He
always looks upset and when I ask him
what's wrong - he tells me that nothings
wrong and I'm just always nagging him. We
have always shared our problems with each
other and have always gotten along before.
I finally confided in my best friend and
broke down. She says that she's noticed
the change but she didn't want so say
anything because she didn't feel like it
was her place. Does anyone have any
information or recognize any of these
problems? I'm not one of those people that
refuses to blame their man for their
actions but this is just so out of
character. I don't think someone goes from
being a loving functioning person to a
horrible hateful angry mess over a couple
of months. I don't even know how to talk
to him about the fact that he might be
ill. Every time I try to talk to him about
his feelings he just starts screaming at
me and telling me how everything is my
fault. Please let me know if this sounds
like any symptoms you've heard of... I
don't even know where to begin.
|
o0Heather
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 27 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-04-08 21:42pm
hmm with it popping up seemingly out of
nowhere to you the only thing I can think
is possible drug use? Seems like he would
have a history if it was stress related or
you would have a clue as to whats
stressing him out so bad so I have to say
it sounds most like drug use, it can
really really effect emotions, but you
know you dont want to go blundering in
accusing him of anything. Maybe you could
ask his bf, or friends if you can trust
them to tell you if he has said anything
or if they know whats going on. When a man
gets like that and wont talk about his
feelings when you ask just screams and
stuff its really hard to find anything
out. I dont know I want to say ask him
but obviously thats getting you no where.
Sorry I cant be more help.
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-07-08 19:01pm
How awful for you. There is clearly
something wrong but my first thought would
not be drugs as I think you would know
about that, since you are so close. No,
it sounds more like a mental breakdown and
you must get him to a doctor. How you are
going to organise this I don't know. I
think it would be a good idea to have a
chat - perhaps outside the home - with his
friend. You also sound a little too
subservient, maybe. Whether or not he is
mentally ill, he should not treat you like
this. Tell him to get to the doctor or
you will leave him. I know you have been
close for a long time but as an outsider,
I would consider his behaviour verging on
dangerous.
