If everything in your story is exactly how it happened, then I think you have every right to feel the way that you do.

Are you sure she was on the pill, taking it correctly everyday?

Have you told your parents about this? They will usually be your biggest supporters..

Well it all depends on what she wants to do really. If she decides to keep it you can sign away your rights and just pretend it didnt happen, or you can be in the babys life and just stay friends with your ex. You probably shouldnt have had sex with her without a condom because all she had to do was stop taking her pill and wait for you to get her pregnant. Does she still like you? Obviously shes going to need her parents help alot but you could help by getting a part time job and contributing what you can. You did help make this baby wanted or not. thats what sex does.

Dani, I don't think he can sign away his rights and just pretend it didn't happen, because he will have to pay child support even if he does sign away his rights.

Well, he thought he was doing everything in his power to be responsible, and it was his ex who declined the condoms.

Maybe they both contributed to the pregnancy, but she will be the one who decides to have a child or not. I don't think that is fair at all, to force someone to be a parent and to be financially responsible for a good chunk of their working lives, against their will. JMHO.

i have a job already but im paying for other things...thats why i was uncomfortable about the whole thing cuz she knew i wanted to use a condom but she told me that there was no chance of having a baby if ur on the pill...she took it everyday at the same time...no i havent told my parents because im sure they are going to hate me...they are already going the issues and starting a divorce...shes trying to get over me she says...but im with someone else now...i have no love whatsoever for her and i really dont even want to be friends...im hoping she comes to the conclusion of abortion...i know its controversial but i never wanted to see her again...and i definately dont want her to have my child!! this is my responsibility but im so angry at her about the whole condom thing !!!! im so close to tears right now...thats how immature i am how can i handle having a child?
thanks for responding everyone = ']

she told me that if i wanted i would never have to talk to her again and i wouldnt have to worry about this whole thing....i just thought that was cruel and another one of her tests to see if i was a good person or a not....i do feel helpless and i dont think its fair at all...now all i can do is say i told you so...honestly i dont wanna be another statistic and i want to be a man if she decides to have the baby but i just want to run...i have to many ambitions and dreams to include them in my life...thats horrible but thats the way i feel and i broke up with her because i didnt like her and now i hate her...

donesu,

You don't have to step up and be a man about anything here. If she keeps this child, it is completely HER decision. Nothing is being forced onto her. She should be the one who takes 100% responsibility for having a child, because it is 100% her choice if she does.

thats kind of the way i saw it too...but i didnt want to be hated...thats what it's going to come down to if she does decide to have the baby....i wish she would decide what she wants to do soon because it will be three months february 25th...and what my buddy told me was you can't get an abortion after 3 months or it could be dangerous...i just dont see why she doesnt decide to go for the abortion if were not together i dont love her i dont want to have the baby and she doesnt have the time...thanks for understanding my problem...im not so down anymore because i can finally talk to someone...hopefully we wont have to do the whole child support thing if she has the baby..im really hoping she doesnt though i feel like my first born is being held hostage

o i thought the point of signing away your rights was so you could give up all parental responsibilities? I dunno ive never dealt with it but maybe you could find some info on it on your state. I always find girls who say o its ok im on BC fishy... my BIL gf tried that stuff, im quite surprised she isnt pregnant yet.

anyways back to the subject, youve got 7 mos to figure out stuff if she decides to keep it. you should just take a step back and concentrate on school rght now. dont even worry about it yet since you dont know what she plans on doing (altho ill bet she keeps it...)

im hoping she doesn't but thats what i was feeling too....i truthfully never want to talk to her again...though it seems childish...i should've known something like this was going to happen she was my first but i wasnt hers...dont worry i know it's mine though but still i shouldve just said no like i wanted to....i have no willpower = (

i can't handle child support for the rest of my life...i have college in fall and im pretty set on moving to japan..

.this whole ordeal has pretty much scared me away from sex....

donesu, you need to involve your parents NOW. You need an authority figure on your side to help you deal with this girl and her family. I don't think this was an accident, it sounds like she got pregnant on purpose. I just can't see any girl turning a guy down who offers to wear a condom. She should know that the pill doesn't protect against std's for example, so there is always a reason to use a condom.

You need a parent on your side to protect you from this girl and her family. Your father should go over to their house and make it clear to them that you were not irresponsible, that you did everything you could to prevent this from happening, that she, the ex, refused the condoms, and that you have no intention of ruining your entire life because she chooses to have a baby. CHOOSES. It is a CHOICE.

i will....im not sure how to let them know though...im sure they will hate me = (

the only one in her family that knows is her mom her older brother and sister and dad have no clue...im sure the older brother would tear me apart though even though we are like good friend and we are pretty much the same...same interests...i dont see why should would get pregnant on purpose...im just thnking that she actually believed that we were doing it safely...well thats what i hope...and she did refuse them and thats the stupidest part...the first time we did it i used a condom ... and one other time because i insisted...but she kept saying that it was uncomfortable and she didt like them...i always laughed about how i wanted to use them and she didnt like our roles were switched....

i only have sex in commited, monogomous (spelling?) relationships in whiich i know the guy is clean. and i don't like condoms. i never use them.

...she was my first so of course im clean...psssh now i just dont want to have sex at all...this whole thing has scared me into abstinance lol thats a good thing isuppose = ) but still i feel like my life is over and im only 17!!!

geez

Ok.

Listen, you need to shake yourself out of this pity party. I don't mean to be, well, mean, but seriously you are facing a life altering situation here.

On one hand you have a parent being angry with you, on the other hand you have a woman you hate bearing a child that you will be paying for until you are middle-aged.

TELL YOUR FATHER, NOW.

You sound just like another poster here, his id is veryworriedguy.

alright i will i just need to find a way to let them know...its inevitable that they are going to be mad...even after telling them what r they going to do?? though i am for sure going to tell them...