Ok so here is the story: I've been dating
my bf for almost two months and I have
never felt this way about anyone. We both
fell really hard and fast for eachother.
He's 17 and I'll be 17 in a little over a
week. The moment I met him I liked him.
Bottom line: It scares me how much I love
and care about him.
He's on my mind all the time. With him I
feel beautiful and like I"m on the moon. I
love to make him smile, which doesn't
happen too often because of his
headaches.
Anyways, we've come really close to having
sex, but stopped because he didn't have a
condom and neither of us are ready to get
hitched and have a kid. The part I'm
struggling with and why I am in need of
some advice is becuase I'm surprised at
how far I'm willing to go with him without
even thinking about it. I thought I would
be the kind of girl who waited for marrige
to have sex, but now I'm not sure what
kind of girl I am. All I know is that when
I"m with him it doesn't feel wrong. I know
that I should talk to my mom about this,
but I don't want to hurt her. She thinks
that my values match hers and now that I'm
struggling with figureing out what is
right for me, I think I'm going in a
different direction than she would like. I
really don't want to hurt my mom and I
just cannot understand why I'm acting in a
way that, in recent past, I would have
never acted. It feels like my whole world
is shifting.
Sorry
this is so long. If there is any advice
you can give about love, sex, and dealing
with this I would appreciate it.
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o0Heather
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 27 Location: ,
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Posted: 02-03-08 15:12pm
Oh hon talk to your mom, you sound so
sweet and smart your mom must be wonderful
too. She has no doubt had these feelings
herself at one time and could give you
advice. I really think you should let your
mother help you through this more than
anyone. She will honestly look out for you
whats best for you. But ya you are getting
older and having feelings new and
exciting. The path to the rest of your
life starts with small decisions and
everyday ones. You have to decide what you
want for yourself. Waiting a bit until you
sort out your feelings would be good. You said yourself
you are not ready for the risk of
pregnancy and dealing with those issues,
so dont :p
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 02-03-08 16:18pm
You are very young and so you do have very
intense emotions. I think you're very
smart, both you and he. I know it's hard
to visualize never being with him, but
there was a point in my life when I was
older than you and I thought I'd found the
man of my dreams. I dated him for three
years and even got engaged; but logic
finally set it around that time and he and
I are no longer together.
No one can predict if this relationship
will last or not.
Your world IS shifting, and not only do
you have to deal with it, but yes, your
mom has to deal with it too. You are
becoming a new person; but don't get so
lost in becoming who you are that you
forget who you used to be! Your mom will
always be there for you; mine has been,
even though all of my bull crap. Talk to
her; she'd much rather know than be in the
dark.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
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Posted: 02-03-08 20:36pm
it sounds as though you have been brought
up with traditional values about sex. if
you feel in your heart that waiting until
you are married is what you believe in and
it is what you want to do, then wait. But
having sex before marriage does not make
you a bad person and does not make you
promiscuous. if you love him as much as
you say you do, he feels the same way
about you and it comes natural to both of
you.... then as long as both of you are
responsible about safe sex then there is
no reason why you can not have sex. there
is no 'kind of person' who has sex before
marriage. everyone is different and
everyone should be able to make their own
choices about when they are ready to have
sex without being judged.
i lost my virginity at 18 and though i'm
not with that guy anymore i dont regret it
cos i didn't go into the situation blind.
i was not pressured. we both cared a lot
for one another and we were responmsible.
if you are having a really hard time about
this then maybe you should wait a bit
longer just so you can feel more confident
that he is serious about you. it is
entirely up to you.
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Skater
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 21
Posted: 02-03-08 23:56pm
Thanks a bunch for the advice, I really
appreciate it. I'm trying to figure out
exactly how I should start this chat with
my mom haha. This whole thing wouldn't
even be a big deal for me if I wasn't so
worried about disappointing her.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
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Thanked:0
Posted: 02-04-08 08:01am
the very fact you are willing to discuss
this kind of thing with your mum is really
good, you must be very close with her.
Sorry
this is so long. If there is any advice
you can give about love, sex, and dealing
with this I would appreciate it.
You said yourself
you are not ready for the risk of
pregnancy and dealing with those issues,
so dont :p
