Hi alone_n_nyc

I read your post and I can really sympathize with you. I found out I was pregnant a week ago and Im 36. This will be my first. I will be alone through this becasuse the guy I am pregnant by is a real LOOSER. I cant believe I was such a fool and a fool. He has no job, no car, no education... nothing. Its amazing how blinded a person is when they are lonely. Me and him dated way way back when I was 21. I moved to another state but we have kept in touch via the phone over the years. we started talking more seriously about 3 months ago. I thought i wanted to get back with him but after our reunion i quickly realized that we are totally two diffrent people and not for each other. Having sex with him has been the biggest mistake in my life. But, now I'm pregnant by him. I usually donot like to call people out there name but he is a real BUM. And i was a real fool. I know i will have to support this child on my own because he can barely support himself. what was suspose to be a permenant relationship turned out to be a 3 day visit. I could barely stand being with him any longer than that. It is amazing how your minds plays tricks on you when your lonely. He is back in his home state living with his ex because he has no place to go. He is trying hard to get me to let him come back here, he says that he will support me and the child but he just wants a place to live, and i have never let a man live with me before and i am not about to start with a man like him, baby or no baby. I am not going to compound one stupid decision with an even dummer decision. If you have support from your family. That is good. I know it will probably be much better for you if you have people to support you especially if the father wont be around. My parents barely wanted me, we have an estranged relationship. I have not asked them for NOTHIN in 20 years and I'm not about to start. i know my life is going to really be hard.. but i have to do what I have to do. I was dumb enough to have un protected sex with him and I am going to own up to the consequences of my bad decsions... thats what life is all about. hey I really hope you make the best decision for you and if you would like to correspond Im here

We live and we learn from our mistakes, but through it all what we gain is experience and the knowledge to never put ourselves in this position again. I wanted to get pregnant, however the idea of pregnancy is often more fantasy than reality especially if there aren't the right ingredients to having a successful start. Without finance there can be no romance is something my father said to me a long time ago. Well, that is exactly what I am now facing. I kicked him out of my apartment when I realized he could not contribute in the manner I expected. This drove him back to the daughter's mother and I wonder if it's because he loves her or because he wants to secure a place to stay. It's a sticky situation. When I told him I was moving, he asked to come along with me. I said he could but I would first need to go and get settled. Having him there will be beneficial for the baby, but I don't know if we will make the best couple, but wonder if I should give it a try for the sake of our child.

One thing is for sure I am having this child for me. There is so much that a child can give you that a man cannot. This is my first child so I am being optimistic about the situation. There are issues to face, it will be a bumpy road, but with faith and persistence everything will work out.

I wish you the best of luck. Sometimes its better to be alone than find yourself in the arms of the wrong person. Prior to this man I practiced celibacy for nearly a year because I was just fed up with men in general. You see, I saw the qualities in him that money could not buy like genuine love and sincerity, honest companionship, and most importantly friendship. It's funny because during the time in which we dated the first three months we had no sex at all. It wasn't until the latter part of our relationship that we built enough trust to take our relationship to that level. I am not upset with him. I did say some harsh things regarding finances and demanded he return my keys, but that was necessary. A man has to be a man and if he can't handle those responsibilities then he has some serious evaluating to do. You have to help yourself before you can help someone else.

Be wise. Make the right decision. And I wish you the best of luck.