I don't think statutory rape among two underage or closely aged teens/adults should be labeled as "Sexual Offender" as well. Now a 30 year old and a 12 year old? Goodness yes!! But I think that if the people are within 2-3 years of age it isn't even statutory rape. That's just my opinion.

that two young people can't meet and fall in love. Does your birth certificate with the correct dates in place mean it is honkey dorey?

Sorry Sandra for your loss of your friend. We really do live in a cruel society where it is just so easy to pick up that stone and throw it. Forget the consequences it does to somebody else. The gang rule usually wins because there is strength in numbers for some people when they don't have to stand up, alone, and accuse a person of what they consider to be a serious offence.

One of the most successful and loving marriages I knew were between 16 year olds. Married for 50 years and happy until he died.

And then she was estatic!

lmao

Wow Sandy, I am so sorry for your loss. That is a tragedy. How common is it for a man to get that label when he's had sex with someone so close to being legal and so close to being his age as well?

Just were married really young, had four children, all the struggels that come with raising children, having a business. Then the hard part. Diabetes and congestive heart failure.

My cousin is a great lady and is doing fine. She loved her husband and he certainly loved her. The only drawback with being married so young was the lack of parenting skills. They worked it out. Their kids never quite developed the ability to live away from their parents. That is probably not unique to them or their family. Just a very southern, traditional family.

Unfortunately this is a slippery slope. If we do away with the statutory charges then that gives parents and law enforcement a harder time catching people who deliberately set out to seduce minors, Its true if you are 18 you shouldn't be having sex with someone under 18, that would end the question but in todays world of demanding harsh sentences for crimes people are getting caught up in it who wouldn't usually be perps.

I am sorry for your friend but I have to ask; why did you wait until it was that bad before finally distributing the truth? I'[m not picking on you but pointing out that if PEOPLE get involved we can stop this sort of thing from reaching such a tragic point.

we tried. We would go to the home owners meetings and try to tell them.. it wasn't until my cousin pointed out we could print up the court details (something we never thought we could do so it never crossed our minds) that we were able to provide these people proof of his not being a monster and was actually a good guy who make a mistake.

This thread all spawned off of my research into the city we're moving to this weekend. Decatur, IL. I was looking for sexual predators in the area (im over protective and anal lol) and i found this site that tells you names and addresses and how old the two people were (offender and victim) and found several like this girl.. she was 21, the "victim" was 16.. First off.. he could have said he was 18. That happens A LOT. (I don't know how many guys i told i was 18 when I was 16.. granted i didn't sleep with them.. but still) second.. 16 is not 10.. he more than likely consented.

http://www.isp.state.il.us/sor/offenderdet ails.cfm?SORID=E07C3722&CFID=5497480&a mp;CFTOKEN=67193714&jsessionid=b030c82 cffd6$EC$21$E

thats her.

then this guy.. he was 18, she was 15. *Unlawful Restraint.* That could be bad.. but it also could mean her parents walked in on her being handcuffed to the bed while they got their freak on and it pissed them off.

http://www.isp.state.il.us/sor/offenderdet ails.cfm?SORID=E01A6163&CFID=5497480&a mp;CFTOKEN=67193714&jsessionid=b030c82 cffd6$EC$21$E

yes those could be legitimate charges.. but they may not be and that girls life is beyond screwed forever because of it.

I can understand labeling the 40 year old who sexually abused a 2 year old.. or the 39 year old who slept with the 15 year old. But jeez.

Sad.

that's a really awful story. i'm so sorry.

in a country or state where the age of consent is, say, 16, there really ought to be a law in place that says it is not considered statutory rape when the other party is less than 5 years older, for argument's sake. it is ridiculous that a 16 year old theoretically could sleep with a 15 year old and he is criminalised for it. whatever your views are on what age teens should or shouldn't be having sex at - you might think it makes them silly, maybe irresponsible, but it certainly does not make them criminals. i know there are always grey areas in these matters where you aren't sure what age is appropriate, but for god's sake, this is just crazy.

The problem as I am viewing it is that if we do away with age of consent laws then that will also undermine sexual abuse victims who are minors and the ability to prosecute their abusers.

Well I don't think we have to do away with age of consent laws at all, but simply make them more defined. Just one blanketing rule of "if under 18 u go 2 jail and R evil!" clearly doesn't work.

I think at this point in time when need a more across the board in all states law about this. As it stands now it varies from state to state. Like when I was 16 I could could have a sexual relationship with someone up to 5 years older than me. But in some states this is not the case. A few years age difference I can see if it was an older teen.

But I large age gap I can't see. An example of this would be a 14 year old having sex with a 25 year old. This is something I do have a problem with and is something that is going on in my family as we speak. My niece found out she was pregnant when she had just turned 15. No one knew she was even having sex (much less with someone that much older) till she became pregnant. I did not find out the age of the guy until x-mas and I met him and he went to school with me. Anyways it took 8 mths before my family took a stand against the relationship. And honestly I don't know what my family is going to do at this moment. But I am sorry in this case yes I would press charges if I was my niece's mom. There is no way in heck I would have let this fly nearly as long as my sister did.

BTW off topic My niece had the baby yesterday a month early. 6lbs 10oz.

that's good in your state they have that law. i am not aware of a similar law being in place in the uk. gonna have to look that up. yeah like i said i think there are some grey areas. say if the girl is 14 for example, and the guy is 18 or 19, it is a bit iffy. then there are cases like your neice's where you just think whoa, that's just not right.

a girl i know was 17 when she fell pregnant to her boyfriend who is in his mid thirties. i dont know how long they were sleeping together before that. you have to wonder what the hell a 30something man is doing with someone young enough to be his daughter. they're still together, she's now 19 and expecting her third child to him. it's messed up.

For me that is an iffy area. Is the girl mature or does she act like a 17 year old. I say this because I met my now husband when I was 18 and him 35. Difference was IMO I was not the normal 18 year old. I had been living on my own had already had a kid, was working etc. SO there was a big difference there IMO.

of course. there are always exceptions!

but this girl i know is very immature for her age, she even still has tantrums. she's never had to be independent, she now shares a council flat with her boyfriend, neither of them work. yet she's still getting pregnant every 5 minutes like it's going out of fashion. the way i see it, she isn't some kind of victim - the sex is obviolusly consentual. but it doesn't stop you thinking that there's something very wrong with a man of his age being with someone that young who still acts like she's about 14!!

3 kids in 2 years?!? ever heard of birth control? jeez...

I was 17 when I started dating my fiancee, who was 30. I'm now 18, he's 32, and I'm a little over halfway through my first pregnancy to him. He has a 9yr old boy and I'll admit it's a little strange to have to mother a boy half my age, but it's even more weird that I'm closer in age to his son than I am him. So there's some screwy situations out there, and I'm living proof.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Sandy. It's always sad when someone takes their life.

The 'victim' had to have had said she didn't consent if she was over 16 (at least in PA I know). My friend's mom tried to press those charges on her 25yr old boyfriend when she was almost 17, and they couldn't because the cop asked if she consented, she said yes, cop couldn't do anything about it.

When my fiancee was younger, some girl charged him with rape (charges were dropped thank goodness). They were both over 18 though, she bought the condom, and if it weren't for him being a hornball at the time, he probably could have gotten her on rape. It just shows you that people can't be trusted and that makes me so sad. Just like if you see someone get into a wreck and realize their car might explode from the leaking gas and sparks everywhere, you help them out of the car so they don't shoot off like a rocket, they can sue you for injuring them. You can sue/press charges for anything now a days it seems.

I only think statatory rape should be considered if one is under 18 and there's more than an 8yr difference. A 21 and 16 year old know what they are doing and if there was 'rape' involved, it should be full on rape charges and have to PROVE they got raped and not 'oh I'm under 18 so arrest them'. IMO

There's a definite ick factor when a 40-ish person goes after a minor but I think the title of sex offender should be based on consent rather than age in the case of sexually mature individuals. Not so long ago young women were married off to old men as soon as they started bleeding, and they weren't even given a choice in the matter.

As with polygamy, as long as nobody is being forced or coerced and both parties are mature enough to consent and engage in sexual acts, I can't really think of the older person or the "glutton" as a sex offender no matter how degrading or gross I personally consider the relationship to be.

it's hard to define what a sexually mature individual is though. the age of consent in spain is 13. to me a 13 year old is still a child. when i was 13 i had only just started my periods. many don't start for years after that. nor is a 13 year old psychologically equipped to deal with sex at that age.

i know some girls mature at a different rate than others, but by anyone's standards a 13 year old is a child.

My DH was 21 and I was a day under 17 when we were first together. We married when I was 20 and have been with each other for 17 years now, with 2 kids. I am glad my parents trusted me enough to make my own decisions about whom to love when i was that age. He could have gotten in a lot of trouble, I suppose, but he was perfect for me. I did date a guy who was 32 when I was 16 until one day it him me that it wasn't normal for a guy that age to be into girls as young as me. He never asked me for sex, though which I think is pretty interesting. Who knows what i could have gotten myself into with that one. Maybe he was legitimate-he introduced me to his mother. I don't know...