My husband and I dated for five years before we became engaged, and we will celebrate our second wedding anniversary this coming June. I love him more than I can describe, but we've had problems these past few years as I know everyone does. I can't seem to believe that he cares for me like I want him to, though. It's awful, I know. I know I am a fairly attractive woman and all, but lately I've had some issues with my confidence since I've always been very skinny and have now put on twenty or so pounds since getting married. This may or may not have to do with my feelings. My husband assures me that I'm not "fat" in any way and that he loves me and thinks I'm the "hottest thing ever" (), but in all honesty, I don't believe him. I think he sees the weight I've put on just as I see it, and because of that I have a hard time opening up to him and letting him touch my stomach and things like that. I won't even take showers with him anymore unless alcohol is involved, simply because I feel so badly about myself. I weigh 122 pounds though... and even though I'm short, I have to face reality that I can't be TOO terribly bad. I have to get over myself :'(

I get annoyed easily when we're with our friends (I dunno why, but all our good friends are males), and they make fun of me about something, and my husband doesn't take up for me. I never let ANYONE say one bad word about him, and it hurts me that he doesn't seem to mind. I mean, I'm his wife! He also has let a close friend of ours talk about me inappropriately, not really in a bad way, but still... not in a way I'd EVER catch a girlfriend of mine talking about my husband! He didn't seem to mind. In my mind, it adds up to me as if he just doesn't care about me the way I care about him... and I also really have a problem believing that he really respects me. Once when he was drinking and I got mad about something and he ignored me and just went into our guest room and slept in our room mates bed, he told our room mate (the guy friend of his whom has spoken of my inappropriately before) that he should come sleep with me so he could sleep in there... allowing his friend to spend the night next to me in our bed. I would homicide someone before suggesting a girl to sleep next to my husband. What is wrong with him...?

Within the past year, my husband has begun to drink a lot. There have been three instances when he's drunk himself waaaay passed to point of "passed out." I'm talking alcohol poisoning, vomiting in his sleep, unable to respond to annnythingg, shaking like he's got hypothermia passed out drunk. I take care of him in the situation, but it bothers me. A lot. My husband and I were married young and we are still very young now, and in college if that explains anything, but I don't see it as an excuse. He tells me how great I am and all this, but if I am so great why put himself in these situations where he needs to be getting his stomach pumped just to make it through the night. We have our own house, we don't have money problems. I've never cheated on him and never considered it a day in my life... so why? I hate when he drinks... it hurts my heart. And sometimes when I see him drinking often (a drink or two or three or five a day every day sometimes, while others it is none) I get upset and will ask him not to. This of course just causes tension and the like, and so I try to just let it be. But ohhh how I wish he would stop. There have been three or four instances where he's said and done things to me I would previously have bet my life that he'd never do or say to me while intoxicating, and I just don't want anything like that to happen again.

I hate his job. He works 45 minutes away as a head wait server in a restaraunt, and while he makes decent money in tips, thats a lot of gas money. Not to mention he works with a bunch of high school and college aged girls who seem to race each other to see who can get knocked up by an older employee first. And they sit around for hours at a time watching tv at the bar and who knows what else when they're not busy, and I have no idea what all goes on there. I work at a restaurant 3 minutes away from our house, and I see what goes on there. Everyone knows I'm married though, and they all respect that. I can't say the same for the people he works with. Once I had some random girls from his work come up to me at my work like they knew who I was and proceeded to tell me "just what a GREAT guy" my husband is and all this stuff, dropping hints about stuff he'd told them that I was just taken back by the fact that they knew the little details. He worked in the to-go room at the time, and him sitting in a little 6 x 6 room with them for 6 - 8 hours a day and talking like that just got me. Ever since then he can't even leave for work without me asking "Please don't talk to girls?" first. He's never cheated on me, and I don't think that he would, but I'm just jealous I guess. It doesn't help that his job is "understaffed" so he has to work 6 or 7 days, 40 hour weeks... and we don't NEED the money, it's just because he has to since there's not enough people. I, being his wife, of course can't go and work with him, as they can't hire married couples, even though ever single other person who works there is having sex with someone else. It makes me very uncomfortable. He won't find a new job though, and of course it angers him when I suggest it or ask him too. I can see why though, I mean who am I to ask that of him? It makes me mad though, like the other night when he was drinking and him and his good friend from work Ryan (who I've never met) were talking and Ryan began to tell me how my husband has a "work" wife and a "home" wife. My husband assures me he was just drunk and is a nice guy and was completely kidding, claiming that he was training a new girl at work that day and Ryan mistook her for me since she was "small and blond" and blah blah blah. Seconds later Ryan begins to go on and on about how cute she was. Urgh!!! I became worried and upset, and my husband in turn became mad at me instead of reassuring me until I felt better. He works with this girl every day though.. I guess I just have to get over it. His friends need to respect the fact that we're married, and I feel like he needs to step in and be like "Ryan, dude, no. You're gonna upset my wife". Seriously, that was the first night I'd ever even spoken to the guy! What am I supposed to think? It makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about what really could happen every day that he's at work. It doesn't make things any better when he can NEVER get off for work when he needs/wants to. Like now... he's STILL at work. I need him to spend time with me! I love my babe

Please help me! Because of this and me constantly accusing my husband of not loving me like I love him I feel like I could ruin our marriage. I tend to over react about little things because I'm always mad about something before that I didn't get a "sorry" for. I also have things in the past that he has done that even though he has apologized for, I still feel hurt over and probably always will. It's all stupid things. Also, I can't get over the fact that years and years ago when we were in high school together and just beginning to talk he lied to me a bunch and tried to make me believe he dated my best friend that he had a huge crush on, and that they'd kept it from me and all this junk. Also, when we began dating, his ex girlfriend told me that he'd tried to get back with her while he was with me. He of course claimed it was her who tried to get with him again. I've never found out the truth, although he'll swear on his life that it was her. I have to get over all this petty stuff. I love my husband to death, and I'm constantly having dreams of him getting back at me for being mad at him or cheating on me. I want to be a good wife!!! I must admit, the problems were a lot worse when we had an audience when we argued and someone to always offer in their two-sense worth when we had two good friends of ours sharing one of our guest bedrooms, but now that we have no room mates, things still aren't perfect... and they actually DID used to be perfect. Help! How can I make him love me again like he used to? Maybe that's the problem... no matter what I just can't "make" him