I think you should personally speak with the teacher. There are often two sides to every story and children who may think they weren't misbehaving, possibly may have been. You should also find out what punishment was given to the other child. And, if this other child is a problem for your son, ask that he be moved.

Good luck. It can be hard to deal with the school.

Thanks Ingi I know sometimes thing may be miscontrue but according to my son's class teacher my son is very 'quiet and excellent and so far he haven't give her any problem' that what she told me on the student diary and in person (I met her just two days ago), besides I posted before my son was ever 'bullied' by a classmate and my son did retaliate back the two was separated afterwards but now it's another classmate and this time by a girl. The other classmate wasn't punish btw.

I agree with ingi--you may want to explain to the teacher that it wasnt your son that was talking in the first place. I would explain to her that you feel that this was not fairly handled--and as before--if she wont listen take it to a higher authority. Being quiet is ok but i dont see that as an excuse to punish him at the smallest thing. he should have been given a warning and that little girl as well. Ive had it happen to me before. i got in trouble and the other person got off scott free. Ive also been in trouble for things i didnt do at school. Its simply not fair to your son.

Having been a substitute teacher at one time myself I know how hard it is to tell what is going on between children and its even harder to determine what should be done to children as a result of something that the teacher might have only seen the half of.

First you should tell your son that he can't give out his things to other students....ever. Even tho it's really generous of him to want to help others, it doesn't help the "no talking in class situation" and it also doesn't help the other child to be responsible enough to remember to bring the things that he needs to class.

Second, even tho he knows this already, remind him that he is there to learn, and not to worry about the other children who are there. I have this same problem with my girls...the worry about the other children. My kindergarden girl has the problem of other people copying off her papers because she is the most talented in the class. The teacher knows where the talent lies.

When he is on break or recess, he can be as cool with them as he wants. He needs to concentrate on class when he is in class: If he opens himself up to ridicule and lets the other kids take advantage, it's just one long road downhill from the start. If someone tries to talk to him in class, he needs to pretend not to hear.

Third, you can talk to the teacher. Take it easy on the teacher because she has many kids to take care of and it's hard to know what's going on all the time and teach too. I do think that a simple "No talking in class" or writing a few lines of "I will not speak in class" would have been sufficient. The other child probably wasn't punished because she didn't see it happen. But talking with the teacher will help her better understand you and your son's situation and personality and will help single out the bullies.

i second that.

Thanks for your advises ladies, I have wrote a letter to the class teacher (whom in this case not the teacher who punished my son) the class teacher knows about the situation with my son being quiet and gets 'bullied' and I will put the letter in my son's student diary, he will then pass it to his teacher on Monday.

In the letter I try explaining that I will not tolerate any misbehaved from my son and if he were to do anything wrong I would second 'punishment' however I would want his class teacher to look into the matter and clarify the situation to the teacher concern. My only hope is that my son won't be penalized by the teacher concern in the future.

I don't think he's anywhere near "blacknamed", trust me

I actually just spent over 90 hours volunteering in my mother's 3rd grade class, and she has some rather troubled/handicapped children mixed in with her "good" kids.

It sucks to be the student in a busy classroom. In this case, his "no's" were probably louder than the kid asking for paper, so that's why he got caught instead. In my mom's class, kids have to go turn over a ticket in the back room when they get caught doing something bad. There's 4 levels, from green to red, and if they get to red by the end of the day my mom writes up an incident report and sends it to the office and the parent.

It's really, really hard to decide what to do in situations like that as the teacher. From her perspective, you son must have been acting more disruptive to the rest of the class than the other student. So even though it's the other student's "fault", your son was the one to get noticed.

My best advice for your son is to just remind him that if it's a time when he should be paying attention and not talking, that he needs to do just that. I know it's pretty much impossible for kids to do so, but it can help sometimes

Your son should have ignored the other student. That's what my students are instructed to do.

i think writing a letter is the best idea. you could also go talk to the teacher and maybe really sit down with her/him and talk about it. being bullied is hard for a young child to deal with. maybe sit down with your son and see how he feels about it and maybe even bring him on a confrence with the teacher
i agree with mominashoe on this subject.

good luck tini i hope it all wokrs out!!!

Have you ever sat in on a gradeschool classroom - as an ADULT? Ignoring the detrimental behavior is nearly impossible for the kids.

I am a kindergarten teacher. I'm in MY classroom every day! My kids do a great job ignoring their friends b/c they know if they respond they'll get in trouble if it's a time when there's not to be any talking.

My child is not in kindergarten, he is in the first grade he tolerated this classmate and the classmate before who took his stationery, one of them broke his scissors and cut his eraser he has always being 'quite and an excellent pupil' that's what his class teacher told me personally and in his pupil diary however in this incident I am upset with the teacher who punished my son without even asking him why he talked - he did that so that his stationery won't be 'abused' by the classmate again who have used it 3 TIMES!

Jesse, you must have an incredibly small class size. My mother co-teaches 3rd grade and there are 31 students in that class. You cannot catch everything. You must also have the most well-behaved children in the district!!

Sorry only just saw this- I agree with everyone else. I think you are doing the right thing by writing a letter

Thanks Becky, I wrote a letter to be given to the class teacher on Monday however I am afraid is by writting the letter my son would be penalized by that particular teacher here some people take things differently than there, in the West you're open about anything concerning you right but here it's quite different. I asked a friend of mine to checked he is from the US he told me that what I wrote is 'professional' however I still have my doubt.

The letter sounds like:

Dear Mrs .... I was informed by my son AAAAA that on Friday 1st 2008, her was punished by one of the teacher (whom is not his class teacher) for talking to his friend who wanted to 'borrow' his stationery for the third time as she told him that her eraser is dirty and his clean, my son said 'No'. He was asked to stand at the corner of the whiteboard with his hand covering his mouth. I hope that you could look into this matter and clarify this matter with the teacher concern stating that my son is not talkative however he did that to 'protect' his rights. As the result he was mocked by his classmate for being punished besides he also asked to apologize to the teacher for this matter. Please note that I not against any teacher who punish my boy if he go against the school rule or misbehaved neither am I asking any privileges.

I have 21 students that stay in my class all day long. And NO, I don't have the most well behaved class. Thanks for thinking so though.

I'm still saying, there's either something you're not seeing, or you have magical students if they all manage to ignore each other.

Hello everyone today I got a phone call from the teacher who punished my son.

She told me that my son was talking to the girl even after she told them to stop.

I asked her did you punished the other girl?
She said: 'No' she scolded the two of them before that.
She said: The reason why she punished my son was she saw him talking.

I told her that the reason why is because of the eraser.
She said:'But there is no written work? Why is there a need to borrow an eraser?'

I told her that my son is the type that is very quiet and don't know how to retaliate back, there was once that the other classmate did something similar and he just kept quiet.
She said: She said that the girl is talkative and the next time she's going to ask the class teacher to separate the two of them, she said that anyway she asked my boy to stand outside for a while.
I told her: 'Children doesn't know how long is long?'

Again today I asked the class teacher is my boy talkative and she said 'Like I told you the other time, no'.

I am still upset however, she should still at least asked my son why does he talk instead of straight punishing him and he the only one punished because he is protecting his rights to say no but then thinking that my children will be in the school long I am 'satisfied' with the answer at the moment and let it rest for a while.

I wouldn't stay mad, it's a not worth it. You already spoke up and defended your son. Now that teacher will think twice before she punishes him without knowing the whole story.

I noticed in my own dealing with teachers that some of them can be defensive.