A little background. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last September, and finished treatment last month. I had a good prognosis, and am getting over it apart from tiredness. I was, however, depressed. Now my mother, who I have been unable to do without, has got a lump, and although they have they have not said it is definitely BC, they said there are 'papillary changes' whatever that means, and it needs to come out. They won't say one way or the other whether it is BC. I have depended on her so much, and I feel sick. Doesnt that sound selfish? I know it does. She's looked after me all her life, now it's my turn to look after her, I don't know what to do or where to turn, and I feel I'm going crazy. My 15 year old son is picking up on my moods, and he's bunking off school and been in trouble with the law. What's worrying me is the awful thoughts I'm thinking about my family, and I don't mean any of them.
My son, who has acne and wears glasses, and doesn't have a very high opinion of himself, I think to myself what a billy no mates he is and no one likes him, which isn't true as he has plenty of mates. I love him to bits, yet I think thoughts like this. His father buggered off, and now he can't rely on me. I said even though his dad went away, I would always be there for him, now I feel incapable of looking after myself.
I've been put on Prozac by my GP, and given supplements, as I've lost a stone in weight, and now only weigh just over six and half stone. I know this tablet isn't a miracle worker, and it won't take away my fear. The doctor said it would be at least four weeks before it would take effect, and it's only a week until my mum's surgery. What can I do to help myself? I'm so scared. I feel my life will never be the same again.