Teen Pregnancy Forum - telling my mom

Pregnancy Forum > Teen Pregnancy Forum > telling my mom

What happens during labor? What do contractions feel like? And how do I know that labor has begun? Read on to learn about birthing basics....

Q: telling my mom

asked by: krystineM on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

so my mom and i went to go out for dinner and a movie just this friday, and we had a pretty good time, before we went to the movies i stopped by at my dads house for a short visit and to wait for my brothers to get there and say hi too -parents divorced-
I told them that i enrolled back in school to get the 3 credits i need to get my diploma and their really excited about that and then my brothers came i said hi and hugs, and we arranged to have dinner the next week-end their at my dads.

Then my mom and i went out to eat, and i senced something was up with her kind of the whole time. We chatted about me going back to school and she was really happy about that, and how my brother is doing in school...
then we saw the movie -27 dresses good movie- Everything was going really well, i hadn't mentioned im pregnant cuz i wanted to tell my mom, dad and step mom all together sometime this week.
So the movie ends and we're waiting for my boyfriend to come pick me up now, and my mom starts talking and says
Mom: "So some of the girls at work -her friends- were asking if your pregnant,"
Me: "Really why's that?"
Mom: "oh you know cuz you were sick during holidays, and on facebook you had said in your status 'feeling queasy' but i just said i dont know, i said if she was she would tell me she's expecting..but your not right?"
Me: Neutral

Mom: "So you are, oh......."
Me: "i was gonna tell you and dad and marilyn-step mom- together instead of telling you all seprately..."

[for the record my mom doesnt like my step mom, for reasons i will never know which is why she said this]

Mom: "And how were you gonna do that?!"
Me: "ask if you guys would come to dinner with me"
Mom: "ok...-has a smirk on her face shaking her head- You kno i cant even be excited or happy about my daughter being pregnant now...this is not the reaction i thought i was gonna have when i hear you're expecting."

Anyways, the whole time i knew that when she finds out she wouldnt be pleased or anything like that, but the whole time i was fighting back tears, because she made my pregnancy seem like a big joke, she just had a smirk on her face and chuckled here and there and shook her head looking around. Then my boyfriend called and we said our good-byes, and as i was walking to the car i started to cry a bit.
I kno with time she'll accept this more..hell maybe it'll take her actually seeing the baby to accept this, but it still hurts a bit..i kno i let her down..i just wish she didnt give me the reaction like this is stupid..

Replies(18)

Becky

replied on January 28th, 2008

Especially eHealthy

I'm sorry she didn't have the reacton you hoped for. It is a huge shock to find out your little girl is pregnant.

I am super close to my mum but when I told her she screamed 'what?!!!' at me and i just burst into tears. It was just shock speaking though although my step dad was really mean and told me to get an abortion Sad

She will come round in time. My mum was nothing but supportive once she had time to get used to it.

Good luck and I hope she comes round to it soon

krystineM

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

thanks Becky, im sure with time she will adjust and accept that im having a child.
i knew she wasnt going to be estatic or jumping with joy... but she does understand that i am living my own life now with my bf/fiance, and i have to make my own choices. She's just not too happy with me being pregnant at 18
But i know she will eventually come around.

Thanks again Smile

Verizon-y

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

So what do you think your mom meant when she said, "You kno i cant even be excited or happy about my daughter being pregnant now...this is not the reaction i thought i was gonna have when i hear you're expecting." "?

krystineM

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

futureshock wrote:

...what do you mean.. shes not happy that im pregnant right now.

i mean im 18 and pregnant and im pretty sure that she didnt think or plan that i would be pregnant at 18. Im sure she thought i'd be either in my 20's or a little older when i planned on having a kid..
Im pretty sure that every mother out there is not going to share the exact same joy when they hear their daughter is expecting when their a teen as to when their like 25 or in their 30 when they have a baby. And im almost 100% sure that no mother thinks their daughter will be pregnant as a teenager.

She disappointed about my pregnancy right now. Which is why she said "i cant even be happy or excited that my daughter is pregnant..."

Verizon-y

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

I see what you are saying, I think. But what difference would a few years make?

krystineM

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

futureshock wrote:

I see what you are saying, I think. But what difference would a few years make?

The difference is that i am still a teenager.
In my mom's eyes im too young. i mean she had me when she was in her 30's with my dad...do you see the difference here? 30..18??
Im still young. I even know im still young. But im being responsible about my pregnancy and doing what i have to do now. Yeah i may not be living at home, but in my mom's eyes and in my dad's eyes im still their little girl. And young to have a child.

bellax0x

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

i'm sorry it didn't go too well babe. but it deff could have been worse and at least now you have it out of the way

krystineM

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

ya im glad she knos even if shes not to happy.
now i just have to tell my dad and step mom..and 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Im the oldest of 5 kids.

Verizon-y

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

krystineM wrote:

In my mom's eyes im too young. i mean she had me when she was in her 30's with my dad...do you see the difference here? 30..18??
.

krystineM wrote:

ya im glad she knos even if shes not to happy.
now i just have to tell my dad and step mom..and 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Im the oldest of 5 kids.

Wow, they got a late start and then had 5 kids? Good for them.

How did they all react when you decided to move out before finishing high school and college?

OK I just reread an old thread because I know you've already answered part of this. So your mom kicked you out of the house after you finished high school, is that right?

krystineM

replied on January 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

futureshock wrote:

krystineM wrote:

In my mom's eyes im too young. i mean she had me when she was in her 30's with my dad...do you see the difference here? 30..18??
.

krystineM wrote:

ya im glad she knos even if shes not to happy.
now i just have to tell my dad and step mom..and 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Im the oldest of 5 kids.

No actually, my mom and my dad had me, and my two brothers.
and my step mom had a daughter from a previous marriage, and my dad and step mom had another child my younger sister. So all together 4 me, 5 but 2 from a different marriage.

No my mom kicked me out in the summer, and i was supposed to finish high school but dropped out cuz things werent going well, and now i got let back in to finish.

Verizon-y

replied on January 29th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

OK, so my gut feeling is that she shouldn't have been surprised or upset at your news.
What did she think was going to happen when an underage kid moves in with a boyfriend? The time for her to be upset and to do something about your life was back when she kicked you out and you dropped out of high school.

Whatever was going on that made her kick you out, she should have sought help for. If it was drugs, she should have gotten you medical treatment. That's just my humble opinion as a mom, myself.

krystineM

replied on January 29th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

futureshock wrote:

i technically was "underage" for a week. and then i turned 18 which makes me legal to do as i please. Which was clean up my act, such as get out of drugs and start getting on the right track.
And to be honest, my mom only wanted to hear what she wanted me to say. And didnt want to hear anything else. So taking her help was the last thing i wanted because she would not let me say how i really feel, because how i felt was just a thing you could brush off in her eyes, thats how i feel.

Like for instance, i was bullied alot in school, or teased and when i would confront my mother about it she would say these exact words: "oh krystine they'll get over it dont worry." Never give me advice on how i could make it stop, so i would just ignore it myself but it would still happen. I Finally got punched in the eye by a BOY! and she stepped in.

I have been to three theripist when i was 15-16 years old. And everytime i went there my mother would explain why we're here to the theripist, not letting me talk and say why we're here.
So after a while of that and not being able to say how i feel and have each theripist meeting with my mother beside me, i gave up on asking for help.
And ended up helping myself.

Either way you spin it, be it me getting pregnant while living at home or not she is still going to be a little shocked because of -once again- my age. I am still a teen even if i am classed as an adult.

Verizon-y

replied on January 29th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Bullying is an extremely serious offense and it has ruined countless children's lives. I am so sorry you had to endure that.

*sigh*

That explains a lot. It also helps explain the hole in your heart that you're hoping the baby will fill. I think babies can be healing in that way, because by protecting them from what you went through, you heal yourself a little. Smile

krystineM

replied on January 29th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

that makes sense, i kno that this baby is going to have aloving home and two FULL TIME parents that he or she can grow up with. And not to mention a huge family!
I used to see my cousins almost everyday, and when my parents got divorced, we never saw them. The last time i saw them was when i was like...10!
I used to see my step dads niece and nephews a bit, and on my dads side, he has no siblings but my step mom had a lot of niece's and nephew's, but again i would only see them a few times.

The other day my bf/fiance named George and i went to Babies 'R' Us and looked at some of the baby clothes and cribs and strollers and stuff for the baby, i thought it was really fun! Razz

bellax0x

replied on January 29th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

looking at baby stuff is so exciting!!!!

and future you had brought up the question of whats the difference between a few years? when i got pregnant at 16 my mom said to me 'idk maybe if you were a few years older.. even 18 you could consider keeping the baby' to me that made NO sense.. but that was her view

krystineM

replied on January 29th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

i just think that is every parent out there felt comfortable with their teenager getting pregnant, it would never be a big deal, and much more teens would get pregnant in their teen years.

But thats not the case, majority -not all- of women who get pregnant range from about 20 and up, and their married. That's majority, and even though im engaged, doesnt mean that my moms gonna be cool with it. I am still only 18 which is still young, but yeah i chose to keep the baby.

Its still a surprise and unexpected thing to hear from your teenager though, because if you think about it, no parents plans on having a teenager who even though their a teen their still a kid, have a baby.

samsaragx

replied on February 3rd, 2008

New User

Hmmm..

Well yeah same here...bullying should be seen as a real crime, because well, it is I was bullyed at school since...God knows when! I never really asked for help becase my mom is just ...well, tries to be the "peace keeper" when in reality she is the one causing a bigger mess, and also because she would say it was my fault people bullyed me... I used to be overweight as a child and early teen (that is why the bullyed me) and my mom would say I wasn't fat, I was just "too healthy" ..now that sounds pretty funny to me, but painful at the same time, I know how you feel, my dad well he didn't know about the bullying thing but he was paranoid about me winning every academic contest, and keeping me from having friends, because he always found something "weird" on them like they wanted to "use" me or do bad stuff to me...Also I was abused when I was ten by a drunk man but thank goodness there was no intercourse, some other drunk guy stopped him just on time but it was the most horrific experince. I never told anything either, then to make my life more miserable my mom told my dad she wanted me out of her sight so she sent me to a school ruled by nuns, where all the other girls used to hit me almost every day. So I told them all of this the night my dad beat me up because he found out I had a bf at 17...they felt bad, but they still wanted me to break uo with my bf. I'm 21 and they still believe I'm too young to have a bf, so you can imagine what they are going to do to me when I say "I'm pregnant"

krystineM

replied on February 4th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

thats terrible.
im sorry that such a horrible thing like that happened to you, and that your parents didnt step in. My parents are divorced, so my dad never really heard much about things that happened with ppl picking on me at school, so he never did anything, but thats not his fault.
all i can say to you is that your 21, and im just guessing but maybe living on your own or with your bf? your an adult and they just have to accept your pregnant, its your choice on having the baby, and they can either accept that or go on with their lives being miserable about it. but i still can imagine how hard it must be for you to tell them..i still havent told my dad, and im so nervous to tell him i can just picture his face and expression and i back down.
Good Luck

Learn About Us

Get Help

Join In

Do More

We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.

The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made. Schizophrenia health sitemap.
This page was last updated on January 1, 2009.
© 2008 eForums, Inc