Relationships and Marriage Forum - Mother in law wanting live in our house

So I just got married 3 months ago and I face now a very unusual situation. The mother of my husband is divorced and she recently found a job in my town and now wants to live in the house with us. We told her she could stay in the house until she finds a house or apt but that she can't live with us as we want to have our privacy. So she got to the house and it's been a month and she is not looking for a place to live. She hasn't even pay us rent or utilities and the job she has is a 90k job which she likes to brag about. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What do you guys think of this? My husband is going to talk with her this week and tell her that she has to go now in Feb thank god.

Replies(8)

Jude-Love

replied on January 29th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

That is so strange.

My MIL has hinted, many times, that she'd like to live with my husband and I. Why? Because she's in debt. I like her, but my personal opinion is that she is selfish to want to do it. We are starting our life together and her problems shouldn't be my husband's or mine to solve.

CoolGlassofH2O

replied on January 29th, 2008

Experienced User

Ugh reminds me of my boyfriends mom, she wanted him and I to live with her family. Mind you there are 5 people already. But I found out that its cause they wanted to have my boyfriend back so he could help them pay the house with his military disability money. Selfish ass people. I said no and they seem to have gotten a bit upset lol

newmommy07

replied on January 30th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

I've never been through that situation but I imagine it would be pretty anoying. My b/f's mother used to beg for large amounts of money on a weekly basis and my b/f (who was making good money att), would give it to her just to shut her up. I hated it! I mean this lady would come over at midnight and start yelling at my b/f (her son) for him to give her money, it was ridiculous! The lady is like way past 50 years old and behavior like that is just so not normal, thank god we moved out of state and don't have to deal with the stress of her anymore!!! I mean this lady would yell and scream until she got her way, so shocked that the cops never came to stop her drama, lazy cops.

nightangel73

replied on January 30th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

You guys hit the nail right in the head. There could be only reason why would somebody take away the privacy of newlyweds...you said it very correct this is about money. In my case the MIL has no debt but she wants early retirement so she has been saying all along that she needs to save 200k to retire. If she could live for free in my house she could retire in a couple years! I guess that was what she was hoping for. And she is probably still thinking she will get away with it hehe. God how selfish!! It's disgusting what people do for money.

CoolGlassofH2O

replied on January 31st, 2008

Experienced User

I mean if it was my mother that I personally know she wouldn't get in our buisness I would let her stay wit us in a heartbeat. My parents live 4 doors down from were we live and they never bother us, we have our privacy Smile

My mom works and likes to be active, but my bf mom doesn't work cause her husband doesn't want her to, shes not active cause she puts the excuse that she's got little kids. Which are old enough to go to an after school program

And since he knows her I kno he wouldn't want her to stay wit us.

Hart74

replied on March 12th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

I had a similar story my brother in law somehow wanted to ditched his mom and asked her to stay in our house however my husband and I refused and so did my mother in law ends up she now lives in a nursing home. In law no matter how close and good they are better to not to stay under the same roof. No offence to anyone but I am now paying it (not literary) but I nearly lost some old friends because of these.

RASALIJEN

replied on March 12th, 2008

New User

there's always going to be problems in a home if theres in laws, no matter how good you get along, theres always problems. everyone wants their space and privacy. if you argue with wife or husband, someones always gonna say something about it or try to solve the problems and things like that. i personally would never want to live with in laws or other family members and its worse if you are married.

Xalleah08

replied on June 1st, 2008

Experienced User

I feel sooo sorry for you!

I love my MIL, but I lived in her house for awhile and it's not the best situation. Your MIL probably misses her som and wants to make sure everythign is okay. She proably also feels that after supporting her somn, she deserves the favor in return. Remind her that while you don't have any particulat anomosity towards her, you really do need your privacy and you would like her to start looking for a place. point yout some places in the adds to remind her that you are trying to help. I hope that she hasn't decided to stay, and I hope that everythign works out!

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