genital warts bumps on penis ? Posted: 01-27-08 04:34am
Hi,
I think I may have contracted genital
worts and maybe worse from a prostitute
when i was in holidays in brazil. She
performed unprotected oral sex on me and
then we had protected sex.
First of all, this was the first and only
time i ever used a prostitute and I really
regretted it from the moment I did it. It
was a stupid stupid act and totally out of
character for me. I did it because I
wanted to experience that before I got
married and get it out of my system. So
selfish and stupid of me, I really hate
myself now. Never again. I thought I could
keep the whole sordid affair a secret, so
I did not tell anyone. That was until a
few days ago when i discovered some small
strange bumps on my penis.
The worst thing is, I cheated on my
girlfriend of many years to do this. And
now, 6 months later, I am slowly breaking
it to her. I have only told her so far
that I found a strange bump on my penis
and that I am going to get it checked out,
I also told her we cannot have sex
anymore until I am fully checked out. She
is really supportive and it I feel so bad
but I dont want to tell her the full story
yet as I know she would get so angry and
worried. I am thinking that I should wait
until all the test results come back
before I tell her the whole ugly story, I
do not blame her if she cannot forgive
me.
Guys please do not flame me for this, I am
already torturing myself over this enough
as it is, I know what I did was wrong and
now the person I love the most in the
world is paying for it.
Any contructive advice you have for me in
this dark time would be very appreciated.
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lozzamogz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2008 Posts: 25 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: 01-27-08 07:22am
Everybody makes mistakes and you can't
change the past, so try not to torture
youself too much.
I don't know what to say except that if it
is meant to be, your girlfriend will be
able to forgive you for your mistakes. If
she does though it will take a lot of time
and effort and things will most probably
get worse before they get better.
When you do break it to her make sure that
she understands that it's her you love and
want to be with and you used the
prostitute simply for sex. And let her
know that you deeply regret it and would
change the past if you could.
I hope things improove for you.
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unnamedny
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 99 Location: New York, USA
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Posted: 01-27-08 07:57am
I don't want anyone to agree on that. I
think most of the guys will agree with me
and most of the girls will disagree with
me. If you are with prostitute once, you
do not cheat the feelings, it was just
sex nothing else, and as a result you are
not going to do this again. You tried to
do that carefully. You went to another
county, some guys don't even hide it that
much.
If you did not catch anything serious then
there is a big chance that she is going to
forgive you. Also find out if there might
be an alternative ways of getting the
sickness so you don't have to share the
story.
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MiseEire
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2008 Posts: 170
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Posted: 01-27-08 09:16am
This happened six months ago and the bumps
have only started to appear recently
right? There's a chance it might be
something else.
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fullofregret
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 01-27-08 16:37pm
Thanks for the advice and well wishes, I
feel that this secret is eating me from
the inside, I have to tell her soon, but I
dont want to hurt her.
I didnt sleep well last night, the
possibility occured to me that i might
also have contracted HIV. I get major
anxiety attacks with hot flushes and feel
like throwing up now eveytime i think
about it. I think I might be getting
paranoid but I dont know, anything is
possible now and I am extremely scared, I
just want to get tested and get this over
with. Does anyone know how long it takes
to get tested and how accurate the tests
are?
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sammisa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 250 Location: Washington, State
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Posted: 01-27-08 16:41pm
Why do you think it was from the
prostitute, and not something your gfriend
contracted from someone, has she been
faithful to you?
You used protection! I understand that she
gave you oral unprotected, but is it
really that possible to transmit via
mouth?
Maybe it isn't your fault at all! And
maybe it is nothing but an ingrown hair or
something. Definately get it checked out
before you tell her anything! That is what
i would do.
You made a mistake, it isn't like you gave
the prostitute your heart!
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Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
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Posted: 01-27-08 17:19pm
Forget the HIV worry - that is negligible.
You may have genital warts but for
goodness sake, first of all you don't know
that for sure and secondly, as eveyone is
saying, it was a mistake, not the end of
the world! I think maybe guilt is getting
to you and you should be posting in the
Anxiety Forum!
Just put an end to this harmful stress and
get yourself checked out. Say nothing to
her until and unless you know you have
caught something but do use this place to
vent meantime. Good luck!
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Tylanas
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Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
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Posted: 01-27-08 18:52pm
sammisa
wrote:
Why do you think it was from
the prostitute, and not something your
gfriend contracted from someone, has she
been faithful to you?
You used protection! I understand that she
gave you oral unprotected, but is it
really that possible to transmit via
mouth?
OF COURSE IT IS!!!! This is the kind of
ignorance that gets teens pregnant and
spreads AIDS in Africa!
ANY contact with ANY bodily fluid can
spread an STD. Genital warts can manifest
as oral warts as well and even if she
"looked clean" she still could have given
them to him.
Quote:
Maybe it isn't
your fault at all!
The only way sleeping with a prostitute
"isn't his fault" is if she raped him.
Quote:
And maybe it is
nothing but an ingrown hair or something.
Definately get it checked out before you
tell her anything! That is what i would
do.
You made a mistake, it isn't like you gave
the prostitute your
heart!
**********
For the OP:
Relax. It's just genital warts - and I
mean that! No, it's not curable but it's
also not deadly or debilitating. Just go
get tested.
I know the guilt of doing something wrong.
Please, if you know it's going to make you
feel better, tell her. I know I'd
forgive someone I was in love with, even
if he did get genital warts from the
experience. You didn't purposely get the
warts, you only purposely had sex!!
Consent to sex is not consent to
infection.
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sammisa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 250 Location: Washington, State
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Posted: 01-27-08 20:55pm
I am NOT SAYING that sleeping with a
prostitute is not his fault.
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sammisa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 250 Location: Washington, State
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Posted: 01-28-08 08:57am
wow, someone reported my post, and they
took all the good stuff out. Anyway, i was
saying that you should read before you
respond to people because it makes you
sound less foolish! And i said several
other things that appearantly were either
a threat, bad language, or something,
which were neither of the first two, so it
must have been SOMETHING and i just don't
get that, my thing is, some people just
can't handle the truth when it is laid out
in front of them. I'm not saying that
sleeping with a prostitute is not HIS
fault HOW IGNORANT, i'm saying that MAYBE
his woman is cheating on him, and SHE
might be the one who contracted the warts
and gave them to him!
And for the Ignorance comment that YOU
left ME, I would like to say that sense
you misread my response, i will no longer
be held with the title of "ignorance" I
Will pass it on
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1160 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Posted: 01-28-08 09:28am
genital herpes can also be transmitted by
oral sex and even kissing. This could be a
posibility. A blood test is probably the
most acurate. Herpes can take awhile for
you to have symptoms. Just try and worry
about one thing at a time right now.
1st you need to get tested so you know
exactly what you are dealing with.
2nd then think about whether or not you
want to tell her the whole story.
Most of all do what you feel in your heart
is right. Not what everyone else is
telling you. I have ignored my heart and
many bad things always came about. I am
not your wife or close friend so its
really hard to give sound advice. But lets
just say that there are some things I wish
I didnt know about my hubby. They DO NOT
change how much I love him, but some
things are better left unsaid.
if you feel you HAVE to tell her then tell
her.
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sammisa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 250 Location: Washington, State
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Posted: 01-28-08 11:00am
he is talking about warts not herpes
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
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Posted: 01-28-08 23:35pm
We don't know what he has.
To the OP- get tested, that's for sure,
and if you have it, you have to tell her.
You owe it to her if you care about her
health- she'll want to get tested for that
and probably herpes as well (because
that's usually not detected in men and
more dangerous for women)
But I mean, do you really care about this
girl? Are you wanting a long-term
relationship? IF so, you really are going
to have to tell her, if it's eating you up
like that, you need to have trust in your
relationship. I mean, it was a prostitute
on vacation. That's forgivable. Not great,
but forgivable.
