(alright, this post may be a lil long and possibly confusing at parts, but its only because all of it is built up inside of me and i find it hard to express because i feel so strongly about this girl, so please bare with me)
I'm 18 years old and halfway through my last year of high school. Ever since grade 9 I've had a crush on this girl. At first she was just a pretty face because I didn't really know her. I only gathered up the guts to talk to her a couple times within my first year of high school, not enough to get to know her though. Grade 10 I sat beside her in English class, and everyday I found myself eager to get to class, despite my minimal interest in this class of literature. But still did not know her very well.
Then, all of a sudden Grade 11 we started becoming better and better friends, and when grade 12 came along I noticed that she was now one of my best friends. She's a wonderful person. She's beautiful, sincere, smart, compassionate and just amazing in every way. We hang out all of the time now, and I honestly can not get her off of my mind. I think about her day and night. Problem is, she's involved in a steady relationship. She has plans to live with him next year when she's off to university. As far as I know, it's pretty darn serious. I told her once my feelings for her, but she said she was in love with her boyfriend. We still remain VERY good friends though.
I said to her that I told her i liked her just to get it off my chest, and that i knew that was probably going to be her answer and that i'd try and forget about it. However, despite being told this, I still cannot stop thinking about her, and we've only become better friends since then.
She comes over to hang out with me, she looks forward to snowdays just so she can come and spend them with me. She always says that she wishes we lived closer together. We will be going to the same university and she said she's gonna be at my place all the time and I won't be able to get rid of her. The other night we were studying for exams with some friends and she slept with me that night in their guest room, there was no funny business, but she slept close and we stayed up till about 230 in the morning just talking all night. We lay there face to face, but I knew I couldn't kiss her and it's just eating away at me that I can act upon it. She even said to me that night that she may not be living with her boyfriend next year because he has co-op and won't be there very much. Then she said maybe her and I should get a place.
I'm just so confused and don't know what to think. I think she still loves her boyfriend but i feel like I'm getting all these messages and I therefore continue to have high hopes, and i don't think anything will bring them down. I'm completely in love with this girl and i know i am, im not too young, i really do know what i'm talking about. And that night we slept together just emphasizes it, the fact that we had to force each other to go to sleep and to get up in the morning. Now after that, I've realized even more how much I love her. And to know that we will be in touch for years to come makes me dream even more.
What do I do, I'm in love and she has a boyfriend. Any advice?
You told her 'once' how you felt and she said she had a boyfriend? Tell her again. The two of you sound close enough to have this conversation. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is going off the idea of the boyfriend anyway. Good luck and let us know what happens!