30 years old. Last 6 years ahve had problem getting erections. Maintaining is a problem. I had phimosis all my life, 2 years ago had a partial circ. It was sensitive and weird for a while, but finally got used to it. Currently I have almost no feeling at the penis head, but a lot of sensation on foreskin.

I have always had problems in relationship getting and maintaining an erection. I think it is due to anxiety. I have never had an orgasm with a woman before. Masturbating I can achieve it, but it takes 10 minuies, and visual stimulation. During this time my erection nearly always gets weaker. The erection mostly is fairly full and strong in the beginning, and 5-10 seconds after stimulation loses hardness, whether its masturbation or a woman.

During sexual intercourse I think the foreskin starts covering the head when i pull back, reducing sensitivity. The best I can come to an orgasm is a combination of oral sex, and hand job. Usually though, I have weakened erection as soon as she starts this. Having normal sexual intercourse makes it go limp quickly, no idea why.

I have wondered if there is a valve problem causing this (because as soon as I have slightly harder stimulation, it gets weaker. leave it 10 seconds and it gets stronger again). Either that or anxiety. I am quite stressed about it, and can't stop thinking about the problem, all the time.

My hormones checked ou ok, although I am due for another check. Total test was 450ng/dl, which in the range of 300-1000 was low for a 30 year old male. I am in great physical shape, and do strength training 4 times a week, low bodyfat.

My girlffriend and I want to try sensate focus exercises.

Another problem I have is that in all relationships I have been, I have satisfied the woman (orally), sometimes months at a time, but have not satisfied myself. Now I strugle to satisfy a woman - it disconnects me from her, if I cannot have pleasure as she can. I do not want to leave my girlfreind sexually frustrated - yet giving her oral sex, and an orgasm, while I cannot, upsets me, and makes me more anxious about the situation. WHat can i do about this?

I tried viagra 3 years ago but this was while I still had phimosis. It worked, but I had limited sensation.

I also have 2 fetishes - one for bondage (the new gf enjoys this), and the other for smoking women (she does not smoke). I have in the past masturbated to a lot of explicit picutres of women in bondage or smoking, and I wonder if this has desensitized me. Currently I am not masturbating at all.

Thanks.