Self Injury Forum - urge to hurt myself to overcome anxiety

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Q: urge to hurt myself to overcome anxiety

asked by: Seraph on January 25th, 2008

Experienced User

Hi

I have never really hurt my self, however I frequently get the urge to hurt my self and/or commit cuicide.

It might just be due to the fact that I am on anti-depressants that I have not acted on any of these urges but I don't know if it is really a problem or not. ( I can't remember when I started taking anti-depressants )

Is it concidered to be normal to want to hurt your self so the emotional/mental pain gets over shadowed by physical pain but never act on it?

Is it normal to have the urge to want to not be alive any more?

While smoking outside once, I got lost in my thaughts when a work colluege came outside and asked me "What are you trying to do?". I realised that I was intentionally holding my sigarette close to my arm and stopped when she mentioned it. Even the slight burn of it close to my skin, made me feel "better".

I guess it has to do with anxiety...? The pain somehow causes the anxiety to go away somehow?

I think, had she not come out and stopped me, I would have started to burn my self but somehow due to fear of being discovered...I never did it again.

I suppose, in a way, having someone find out is like having your heart exposed...it shows how you are feeling...

I don't know if this makes any sense or wether it is even serious enough to talk about...seeing as I haven't really acted on it even though the urges gets pretty strong at times...

Replies(5)

lozzamogz

replied on January 29th, 2008

New User

Of course it's serious enough to talk about if it's bothering you, which understandably, it is.
I self-harm and have tried committing suicide before. However, before I got ill enough to actually carry through my ideas I used to plan and think about it all the time but not acually do it.
Are you seeing a therapist or counsillor at all? If so talk to them about it... you'd then be able to explore the way you're thinking. If not I think you should seek out somebody to talk to... even if it's your GP.
It's better to nip it in the bud asap... I wish I had.

leewiz

replied on January 29th, 2008

Experienced User

I sometimes have the urge to jump of the edge of a cliff, but I'd never do it.

I think that the urge to end life is the desire to be at one with creation. So, I don't think that it's crazy at all. But, I think that you need to talk it out with someone. Your beliefs will be different than mine.

Seraph

replied on January 30th, 2008

Experienced User

I used to go to therapy regularly untill it got too hecktick at work. I have since not had to have a re-eval for my chronic med's (fluoxitine) so I haven't seen the therapist again. I have been thinking of making a new apntment as of late as thing's are starting to get a bit hairy...lots of chronic pain problems.

The other thing is, it wouldn't have helped untill now. If you read my post in the "pain management" forum you would understand why. Meaning it only sunk in that I am having these thaughts now...it seemed that I was kinda in denial? Just like I was in denial about pain in most of my joints?

50% of the time it's a feeling of wanting to be with the creator and the other 50% of the time it's a feeling of just being tired of it all and so overwhelmed that I'd rather be dead...sort of an escapism?

aquachickola

replied on March 8th, 2008

New User

I understnad completely. I get incredibly overwhlemed, i'm sort of high strung, and self harm/ suicidal thoughts were appealing in the way a mute button is during an obnoxious commercial- you just want it to stop, and to have power over it.

Chronic pain is difficult to deal with, as is depression and/or anxiety. The fact that you are doing all of these things and seeking out help early on (rather than after an attempt or you really began to hurt yourself), shows how determined and strong of a person you are, even if you can't always see it in yourself.

jennyspug

replied on January 23rd, 2009

New User

self harm

i compltetly understand as i have self harmed for many years. i am now having help from my health visitor, phsycotherapist and counsiller to try and break the habit.i self harm due to bullying at school, bullying from my husband and a very emotional year with deaths and redundancies plaging me. it is as addictive as smoking/drink drugs, it horrible place to be. please get help and talk to someone you trust before you start harming yourself and ending up in my shoes.
take care of yourself x

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