Adderall potential for addiction

I started adderall 20mg, 48 hrs. ago and I immediately "smell a rat." My doc put me on it because I work shift work and gained 40lbs, in less than a year. Ok, I'm not over weight to begin with, 5'2" 130lbs, but, I've never been this heavy and I'm a competitive bicyclist, I ski, weight lift and run, plus I'm a vegitarian. It may be a healthy weight on the charts, but it's not a healthy weight for me and my lifestyle. I could see if I were a slug on the couch.

Anyways - I don't have a mental health history, including ADHD or eating disorder. I do, however have a history of benzodiazapine addiction and treatment as well as recovery for quite some time, along with alcohol abuse, which I've abstained from for years. That being said, I can see adderall in all it's glory. I'm not looking for a high, but I was up for so long I started to get frustrated and nervous. I could feel my pulse at all the major points, my chest hurt, I was extremely gaunt - but I did not eat, was extremely alert (which I don't have a problem with anyways), and I lost 4lbs. already - probably water weight. That's where this stuff can play with your mind. I can see the problems coming full force. I woke up with a terrible hangover, I haven't had in five years. I know I don't need this drug AT ALL and to quit while I'm ahead, but the addictive personality in me saw that scale and the numbers don't lie .

I know people only go for help or see the problem when they're in the thick of things. Maybe this experience is my "crystal ball" and a good thing for the future and hopefully more people will post or recognize a potential problem before it gets harder and harder. I see a lot of posts in this and other forums from people that are in real deep. I've been there and back and on the verge again. Please just read my advice.

I already see me taking more and more and running out of my script before I can fill another one and feeling like crap and all that. I'm still in deliberation, but my warning to you is to consider this drug highly when using it for weight loss. It's serious stuff, respect adderall to its highest, because you'll see those numbers drop on the scale but the adverse reactions may be deadly. I agree it may help a lot of people who legitimately need it for ADHD/ADD, but I'm just some spoiled brat that wants to be "perfect" and I can see why this is a problem among women and teens. I'm giving it a week, I know it's a bad decision...but see, that's how it gets ya. Are you willing to gamble like that? Some of us are. Just a warning, I'm already addicted and I've only been on it two days. So if you have any kind of history or any type of addictive personality, be it food, alcohol, medication, elicit drugs, gambling, even shopping, think real hard.