feeling better. life goes on. and i have a new husband and household to run. i'll find another job. i'm sure it's for the best. i might be saying this now because i am heavily sedated. most would be in a coma, haha. not really funny.

hmmm, i just supported myself. thanks me =)

sweetie.. im can totally relate to everything you just wrote.. you feel alone, when you know you have the support.. your mind tells you one thing, but your actions do another. cuz you cant keep up with your own thoughts.. its like a race your never goign to win.. im sorry to hear about your job,, that hurts,im sure.., and im sure that when your husband tell you not to feel sorry for yourself.. it does not make you feel validated.. and that is all we want sometimes. to know that even at our weakest moments that we have a hand to hold..
well here is my hand you can hold mine until things get better, cuz they will,,, like you said you have a husband and a household to run...

Hey...you've given me so much support...let me return the favor. You're right, life does go on. Losing your job can be as minor or major as you let it be. And bipolar or not...I think you are always entitled to feel sorry for yourself for a little while! You're only human...I'm here for you!!

ugh!!! i typed this big message for you super-fly gals and it timed out on me and i lost the whole dang thing!!! i have to get moving... lots to do.

you both rock... xoxo thanks so much for your support and understanding. i don't feel so alone anymore. and i'll fill you in more when i return to forum. i'll post here.

hope you all are well.
puzzld

I know when something pretty bad happens I get very emotional and feel awful. I try to focus on the positives and that helps and after a nights sleep I usually feel alot better.

I feel for you. It is hard enough holding down a job when you have children and a home to organise but with a medical condition, too, it can all just seem too much to deal with.

You are entitled to feel sorry for yourself. Perhaps you do need to take a little 'me' time before you go out looking for another job. You should also think about what you really want to do, as well as what, practically speaking, you CAN do. Do not overstretch yourself for now. Adopt a calm and orderly approach to your job-seeking and don't let finances or anything else rush you into a bad decision.

this sucks... really. i went on one interview and it went well. they said they would decide on the top 3 candidates and let me know. could take up to 2 weeks! i don't have two weeks... my insurance runs out today! my mood is very very low and i have bad thoughts right now.. trying to keep things in perspective. husband can't take on my debt along with his... otherwise we'd be ok for a bit. i've applied for unemployment but it will only cover a little less than half of my salary. my husband won't accept me having a low right now. he says we don't have time for that. duh. i was so sad and distraught earlier i went to my med bowl and held a bottle and just broke down. i wanted to just eat them all but i couldn't. i haven't been logged in here for a while so i thought i should get on because i'm not doing good.

before i even start to go into the whole thing about work,... i just want to know how are you doing?? stay strong.. have faith.. Things will work out.. one door closes another opens.. just dont stare at the door that just closed cuz you will never see the great wonderful things that are about to happen in your life..

Hang in there, puzzld. You're going to find a new job...I know things seem dismal now, but time will heal this wound. Believe me, if I've learned anything of life, this is true.

checking on you Puzz...How are you??

hey, thanks everyone.

honestly, i'm not good. i keep going down down way down. i know it's situational on top of illness but i can't reason with myself or my husband. i have bad thoughts all the time but i don't tell my husband or family because i don't want to worry them. i do look at pics of my family and husband, nieces, nephews, etc. and that keeps things from going too far. it just seems to get worse the older i get. and i thought that the meds are supposed to keep me from these severe lows...?? i've been isolating also.

Puzzld, have you looked into your legal rights being diagnosed with BP? you have legal rights that your employer has to adhere to if you are fired due to a mental illness. There is protection, as it is viewed as discrimination, there are several law suits out there currently for Bipolar employees who were wrongfully fired. Look under the DBSA (depression and Bipolar Alliance) I also can give you names of lawyers and social workers that specialize in mental illness and job protection, if you are interested. There is hope, I struggled with the thought of losing my job, talking to these people helped me know that there are people who are on your side (legally) to protect you.

i thought about that but they have me nailed so hard with my bad performance for the last few months i was there. yes, it was due to illness but not sure i can do anything about it. my step-father is a lawyer... guess i could ask him.

i welcome any and all advice on rights and laws. i find it hard to understand that i have to be employed while i'm sick and just starting on meds and such. i feel like i have sooo much pressure to be well and to function and get a job. makes my head spin more...

Your state should have some sort of department of health- find them online, that might be a good place to start.

Well it sounds like even if you hadn't lost your job, you would still need to take a leave of absence to get back on track. If it were me, I would take this opportunity to "get well' as best you can. Then start looking into legal action you can take, depending on your state rights. People think that you have to have a car accident or cancer in order to get disbility at work or even LTD benifits if that case is so severe. Thats simply not the case anymore, knowing your rights, will help you mind stay focused and feel less helpless and in control with your life and disorder. No company wants to get slammed with a lawsuit like this. FYI- an employee that had a similar situation as you, got fired from Starbucks. He was Bipolar and his lawsuit settled I believe around 75,000. I don't know what kind of work you are in but, you have rights... go for it.

I am so sorry to read all of this. I know I have not been around alot and it is hard to catch up on every forum. I feel for ya girl. Been there and still am. Please don't loose your streangh. Look at me. I kept my BP a secret for over 30 years. Went to see doc this morning wanting to know if she could change my anti-depressents cause I was loosing sleep and now talking clearly in my sleep. She nicely asked, "Have you ever been checked for BP, you are a classic". Oh well, even she picked up on it. I like you have had a hard time all my life with social and relationships ( 3 marriages) all ended cause I in a flash decide to run away. I am now as of today on Lamectal 100mg as a starting dose at bedtime along with my Lexepro. No more secret.
I know it seems like the end of the world for you. but don't let it get hold of you. I agree with talking to a lawyer about this. You may just have a case.

Please feel better,
Carrie

I totally agree with Carrie.............find an attorney who will talk ot you about this case. Their are attorneys that specialize in this field........ Worth a shot Girlfriend...Hope you come out smelling like a ROSE...........

it helps to know that i am not alone... or rather hear that i am not alone. deep down i know i'm not but other times even on here i feel that way. i refuse to give up on myself... i've never been like that even though i feel like that sometimes.

in short, i have to clean bc in-laws are coming today, i'm on unemployment, deferred student loans, got affordable temporary insurance that doesn't have grace period, made the decision, along with husband and dr, to take a job away from advertising until i'm stable and.... lots of other stuff like job hunting, good days, bad days, and days in between. i'm doing OK.

i cut back on my meds, seroquel, bc i can't function with a thick tongue and a drunk stagger. dr said he understands and i'm currently switching to abilify over the course of 9 days. i'm off ativan and on clonazipan. the goal is to have me off clonazipan eventually.

i think that u are right, i should look into laws. i'm sure my step-dad, lawyer, can help me with it or at least refer me to specialist. after all, it wasn't long after i disclosed my illness that i was "let go".

peace and much love to you all
xoxo
puzzld

ps - sorry i haven't been on for a while but i'm sure most can empathize. but, i am ALWAYS available to support. private message me if you would like my email add which i check several times almost daily.