To all......... I first met my partner 2
and a half years ago. He was a wreck,
alcoholic and on drugs. My heart went out
to him for he was still a good man but
just going through rough times. We became
close friends and things starting getting
serious between us and I was helping him
through alot of his issues and we finally
got him off drugs and most of his alcohol
addiction. Time went by and i grew
extremely attached and I guess you could
say in love and he in love with me. I
always knew he was different and even back
then could be pretty awful at times. But
this was justified due to the fact that
when he was lovely he was prince charming
and everything i ever wanted. So i put up
with his behavior until it got worse.
The first time he physically abused me we
were together about 8 months.
I tried stopping him from hurting himself
and he put his hands around my neck and
threw me to the floor. I ran down to his
parents for help but they didnt do
anything as they are scared of him too but
never really take it seriously enough that
he hits me apart from giving him a "talk".
After that there were several more
occasions of physical abuse and at least
every second day there was emotional and
verbal abuse. The most severe time he hurt
me was when i had been out at my
girlfriends and was 40 min late home. I
messaged to let him know but obviously
that wasnt good enough. I walked in the
door at 11.00pm . The first thing I heard
was him swearing at me to get out so i
quietly picked up my things and started
leaving. Then i felt my head go into our
glass door , he pinned me to the ground
and slapped me then strangled me until i
could hear nothing but my own heavy
breathing. When i could get up i tried to
escape but before i knew it he twisted my
arm with one hand and with the other hand
put my head into the tiled floor. The rest
was a blur until i got out and had
neighbors pull me into their home and help
me find somewhere safe to stay. The other
time that really stands out is when he
dragged me from the bed by my bottom jaw
puncturing under my tounge to the front
door, put me up against the wall and hit
me then threw me round the house.
These two instances were only two of many.
The physical abuse has calmed down but i
still get emotionally abused and verbally
abused every day now. I dont know why i
dont leave especially now that im pregnant
and know that my baby is my first
priority. If you are in an abusive
relationship look up Nacsisstic
personality disorder. It could be the
cause for your partners abusive behavior.
I want to get out of this relationship. I
also have been very emotionally abused by
his parents and feel so caught in all of
this. If you are in a similar situation
please write back. I know i can find the
strength to leave but i know i need help
to do it.
A WARNING TO ALL WOMEN: IF YOU MEET
SOMEONE WHO EVEN JUST SHOWS SMALL SIGNS OF
ABUSIVE behavior GET AWAY BEFORE YOU GET
CAUGHT AND YOU ARE ONE OF THE MANY
THOUSANDS OF WOMEN LIKE ME WHO FEEL
HOPELESS TO LEAVE.
I refuse to let my son when he is born be
brought into a broken home. I have 11
weeks until my due date so need to take
action asap.
As sorry as i would feel for him to leave
i know deep down he will be fine.
Any women in this situation needs to focus
on how their life could be with someone
who truly loves and cares for them.
WE ALL DESERVE NOTHING LESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hart74
Supporter
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 533 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
Thanks: 9
Thanked:7
Posted: 02-15-08 12:45pm
Dear Leanne86,
Sorry to hear about what you're going
through. Hun have he try getting any help
like angry management or counselling? If
you still want to stay and be abused than
it's your own call but think of the child
that you're carrying. He deserved to see
the world with a loving enviroment. You
don't deservered to be abused by anyone
you did the right thing by coming here and
telling your story now it's entirely up to
you to take the next step. IF I'm in your
shoe I'll walk out from there. Obviously
the parent does respect you enough to
abused you, do you want your child to see
and live with all these? PM me if you need
to talk to someone about it. Good luck and
take care. Love Hart74
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8005 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 02-15-08 13:25pm
This is obvious, but you need to get out.
I'm glad you refuse to let your son grow
up in a broken home, that's a great sign.
Do you have anywhere else to go? Any
friends that'll let you stay with them
until you get on your feet?
If anything, I suggest you find a cheap
hotel (but I know after a few days that
really adds up.) or find a womens shelter
to stay in. I know it's hard to leave, and
it's scary thinking about a change as big
as this, but please get out. You don't
deserve this and neither does your son.
If you need anything you can pm me. Good
luck and please keep us updated.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 02-15-08 13:39pm
You need to get out for you and your son.
You both deserve better than that. No man
should ever treat a woman like that.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-15-08 16:50pm
He has already abused your son. Don't let
it happen again.
I've been in an abusive relationship &
stayed in it for several years, I wouldnt
leave because I felt sorry for him &
somehow I could always find an explanation
to why he acted the way he did. I could
look at what I knew about this man and
make sense of why he abused me, why he had
this anger. I warped my mind into a deep
understanding for him while he hit me, I
loved this man with everything. Over the
years I was with him I changed, first I
withdrew from family, friends, lost my
jobs over him, became unsteady, hated
myself, blamed myself, became suicidal,
did favors and special things i diddnt
want to like have sex with him after hed
hit me just to make peace with him. He too
was everything I dreamed of when he was on
a "good day". I punished myself for years
over him just to waist precious years of
my life. At the end of all this he never
changed but im glad im out of his life.
however i still miss him because my love
never fades apparently, if i love u i love
you forever no matter what u do to me. i
have to stay busy and live in a diff state
just so i dont mess up and go back to him.
as of now im building my self esteem back
up, getting back out in the world and
raising my son, who was a mistake (wasnt
planned) but in honesty my son is what i
call my "perfect mistake" and thats
because hes what changed my life and in a
way saved my life if you know what i mean.
its hard to go thru what your going thru i
know ive been there. and when ppl say they
know what your going through, they dont
unless they have been there before, trust
me on that. i used to be on the outside
looking in too so ive been on the other
side of the coin, telling a friend to get
out and leave her abusive b/f. ppl from
the outside in can only give support and
comfort, they cant fully understand how
hard and complicated it really is. there
is so much to it mentally, so many diff
break downs in development of your own
persona. i cant fully explain but i know
you prolly understand, pm for details that
i can better explain when i have more time
and writting space. Goodluck, your headed
in the right direction, stay strong.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-16-08 07:06am
newmommy, so how did you finally get the
strength to leave? What did you do first?
Did you call a friend or relative to see
if you could stay with them, or how did
you do it?
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hippiechik1819
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 03-12-08 00:34am
newmommy what was the last straw for u and
how did u financially survive if its not
too uch to ask for what did u do and go
that very first day u left how was it?
