Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

my story of abusive husband

User Profile
Hi I am 22 and i was in an abusive relationship but got out.
Heres my story:
I started datting my hubby in july 04 i think that it was two weeks before july 30th. Well july 31st came and I ended up moving in with his mom and stepdad due to the fact that my family and i got into it. Well when i moved in to be with him we would spent all the time with each other. Yes he would go to his friends houes and i would go with him at times. Well i stayed with them till the end of aug and moved back in with my family cause his brother thrented me. Well we ended up ending the relationship at that time. But we still talked. well jan of 05 we ended back together and i moved back in. Well feb 15th came and we ended up getting married. Well the night we got married it was spent at his bestt friends house with the cops there cause his friend and his wife got into it and we was there when it happended. Well thats how the next few months was him at his friends house day in and day out. The only time we would spend time together was when his friend was out of town. And when he was always spending his time with his friends we would agure way to much. He would be at his friends house and i would call him to come home to spend some time with me and we would get in to it in front of his friends. There were times that i would ask him why he married me and not his friends since that were he spent his time over there. He would get mad at me and call his mom and tell he then when she got home i would get helled at till i told he why i yelled at her son for then she would call him in and yell at him for treating me like that. Well in june of the same year he got aressted for selling durgs. And when the cops came we were making love and the came into the bed room and saw. I started yelling at them for it and told them to give us a few mintets to get dressed before coming into the bed room. Well they took him to jail and i was so messed up that I called a friend of mine and asked her to come and help me get him out. well she did, but that night we got into a fight and he went to his friends house and stayed there for a few days. Well we got in to a big fight july of the same year. We got into it cause i wanted to go to my moms for he wedding annerversary and he wouldnt let me. So i called the cops so i could leave, and my older sister was on her way. Well I left him after that cause he had kicked me in the leg with a telstoe boot. Well i moved in with my older sister for a few days and the moved in with the lady that intudused me to my husband for a few months. In Oct of that year i had teeth removed and I called my husband up and told him. Well the next thing i knew he was getting a hotel room for the two of us. He took care of me and loved me like we were just married. HE told his mom that he wanted to find a palce and move us into it cause he wanted to be with me no matter what. Well before all this a few week after living in a hotel room he had to go vist his probation offecer cause of him selling the durgs. Well I went with him and I ended up having to take him back to his house and me back to the hotel room. I stayed there a few days by my self, with my cat. The second day was when he called me and told me that his mom got us a place to stay. So i went to live at the place and stayed with him till jan of 06 whaen he finaly did his last straw. All was good till he probation offerce told him that till she got his probation up to where we were staying that he had to stay with his mom. Well he wouldnt see me staying where wer wer by my self so he asked his mom to let me come and stay with them as well. This was around christmas of 05. My christmas gift from him was him pushing me in the head in front of his sister in law. Then a few days later the place we were staying at got ramastacted and we stayed there till jan 7, 2006 when he finaly thew me up against the front door and pulled a knife on me out used it on a blanket that my brother got me fro christmas from over seas. He held me against my will and pulled a phone away from my hear when i called my mom and dad to come and get me, when they asked my why i told them and they started coming to get me. Well my mom and dad where the ones to call the cops on him since i had to go call them from a neighboors house. Well the cops came and did a report. Well from what my hubby did to me i ended up in the ER and thats where my parents and sister and brother in law ment me at. Before i went the cops asked me if i wantted to have him aressted and i said yes. So they aressted him and took him to jail. Whilie all the time his famiuly told me not to put him in jail. It was his cousins that took me to the ER and took the key to the house from him and kept it till i got out and went and got my things from the house and left hid there. OH and whilie i was at the ER they took my statement down. Well during the time we lived on our own we would get into agureements and he would take something of mine and threw it on the floor of the house, then he would leave and leave me to clean it up. There was one time i was picking up the glass and cut my self and almost ended up passing out so i went to the neighboors house to get him to help and he ended up coming home and helping. Well in october of 05 he had gotten me a dog for my late brithday present and i had also a cat that i had gotted from graduation from high school. Well lets just say the animals had gotten the abuse as well as me. He would hit them with a bug leather belt. He thew the dog or cat into the bath with me if they messed in the house or did anything wrong. When I put him in jail that month I called him and told him thanks for making me misscarry with his kid, he was all sad and mad at the same time from it. Well about a month later i went to a place called legal aid and put an order of protection on him cause he kept calling my parents house, my friends house, and sending me mail. Well i have had the order on him since and will remaine on for 5 more years. You ask how he was abusive before jan 06. Well he was verbal, mentaly, sprital, sexual, and physical abusive to me. HE would call me names, ect.......

In the beging of this relationship i didnt listen to my family that he was not good for me. It had to come to him threwing my up against the front door for me to leave him.
FOR THOSE THAT IS IN THIS SITUATION. PLEASE GET OUT OF IT BEFOR THERE IS A MARRIAGE OR WROSE U HURT REAL BAD OR KILLED.

Since I have been though it I have gotten better. I can tell people about what i went thought and i have helped people leave there abusive partners from this. Let me tell you its not wroth the abuse.

Well as of today I am finaly divorced from him. It took me 8 months to get over him the year of 2006, so sept of 2006 i was way over him i thought. then july or 07 he had sent me something in the mail, but see the only thing that it did was made me think of what he had done to me, and since i had the order on him i called the cops. Well Dec of last year my divorce went though finaly after fightting since i left him jan of 06.

Well during the time of seperation i had been datting. I had finaly started datting my colsest frined that was there for me on this and now we are to be married the end of this year. I know some people thinks that its to soon after the divorce went finalysed that i got engaged but hey i have know this guy for 7 years. And our friendship has grown since I left my husband.


IF you would like to know more then just ask and i will tell you.
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied January 21st, 2008
help!
Hi, my name is Leanne, im 21 and pregnant and have been in an abusive realtionship for 2 years with no success of getting out so far. I feel completely trapped and know that all im doing is hurting is the ppl around me who care.
My partner has nacsisstic personality disorder and has been physically abusive and verbally abuses me most days. Please tell me how you left im desperate
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied January 22nd, 2008
Experienced User
For starters do u have anyone you can go to. If not do you know of a safe house you could go to????

Let me know then i can help
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied December 12th, 2010
I am 29 and have been with a man that hits me for 10 years, I have no one to talk to bc this is not known by anyone that we know. I am very embarrassed about this bc I was always the one pple came to and my words were Leave him, but how can I leave him, we have 2 kids together and he convinced me to quit working when I got pg so I have no way to support my kids and myself, and the worst part is I love him, I feel ashamed and sick alot bc I know this isnt right but I dont know how to change, he tells me Im stupid and I would die with out him to take care of me, I know this is wrong but Im scared to try it, I called the law on him one time and the beating was way worse than if Id have just ignored it like I always did in the past. Please dont tell me to just leave I need real advise here, this is actually a big step for me typing this out this is first time Ive even came this far. He is not abusive to our kids but they have seen him hit me and I hate this. appreciate any advise you can give.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied December 13th, 2010
Experienced User
I hate to say this but if you dont get out now, things will just get worse. You say he dont abuse ur kids well its just a matter of time till he does. That and hes showing ur kids the wrong way to treat people, and they will end up starting to treat people that way. My ex husband was use to abuse cause he grew up with it. When he leaves for work I would call the cops and find out the number for a safe house and then call it and see if they will take you and ur kids in, or know where u can go. Normaly they will take you in. The thing is you cant have any contact with your husband/BF. Your kids will have to know not to contact him eaither. I know you love him and all but please just leave him. You got to look after your kids and your health. That is more important then love in my opinion.
|
Did you find this post helpful?