As a bipolar mother, I believe you should be "extra forgiving" as you mention it, because no matter if a bipolar person is well medicated or not medicated at all, these symptoms (irritability, uncontrolled anger) can occur at some phases- I repeat, even if the medication is taken properly, it can not extinguish all the symptoms at once, it takes time- sometimes even a few months before the person act normally again!
So take this into account and do not take it personally, just let her whine and say you agree with everything, then do what you think is right for your kids and not what she tells you to do- how can she know if she does not live with you?
About leaving her unsupervised with your children, it is ok since she loves them so much, unless she has been violent with her own kids.
Ask your husband if he was a victim of physical or verbal abuse by his mother and if the answer is yes, don't leave your children alone with her!
If she was not abusive with her own chilren, she won't be with her grandchildren, but stay at a close distance because if your children are not very obedient/disciplined she might easily loose her patience with them, then she will need you to take them away from her or she may shout at them, which is not good for any child!
So, leave your children with her but be as close to them as possible in case of an emergency!
If you want to know anything more about how to cope with a bipolar patient, ask me.
Hope I was helpful!