Hello! Im 23 and have an 18 month old son. I was on Methadone when he was born and had a c-section. I was having really bad shakes from the epidural and the dr. messed up and gave me Nubain! I went into instant withdrawl and was havin convulsions. My son had to stay in the NICU for 5 weeks for withdrawl, that alone was depressing knowing he was in there because of me. I could tell right away something was wrong. I didnt feel that warm cozy loving feeling a mother should feel for her child. Before he came home from the hospital I went to the dr. and told her that I thought i had ppd. Anyways he came home it got worse I had feelings of hurting him when he cried, hurting myself. I was put on Lexapro, Abilify, and Xanax. I guess it worked for a little while so I stopped thinking I was better. But now my son is a year and a half and I still get so angry when he whines or cries. I have serious mood swings one minute I;m fine the next im screaming at my husband wanting to throw things and break things. I was never bipolar before so I wonder if the reaction I had after the birth has something to do with it, it feels like something just snapped in my head. I was always a happy person, now i hate the world sometimes. I went to my old therapist she said she thiks its bipolar. Has anyone felt remotely close to this?? Please help!!!!