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Q: Too young and pregnant
asked by: So Young on January 19th, 2008
New User
Sad I'm 13 ----- AND PREGNANT ... i realli dont know what to do .. any advice would be good..thanks x
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Mabel
replied on January 19th, 2008
Moderator
You need to speak with your parents IMMEDIATELY! You will need to get to a doctor as soon as possible.
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Katrinadoodle
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Don't think I'm encouraging this, but at 13 your body CAN support a baby. There is a HUGE chance of something going wrong, but it can and has happened.

I don't think anyone should be telling her that her body absolutely can NOT have a baby and push for an abortion. That is up for her and her doctor to decide, not you.
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PenguinsRus
replied on January 19th, 2008
Supporter
I know it is possible, but I personally don't think the risks and the high chances of something going wrong are worth it.

I know it is her decision, but I just threw it out there so she knows that chances are very low of her being able to healthily have this child. The choices are all hers, but it isn't fair if she doesn't hear all of her options and isn't able to weigh the good and the bad.

She has to sit down with her doctor (after first of all telling her parents) and seriously consider the pros and cons of this, because I don't want to see a child have a child and have complications just because nobody told her that it probably isn't good for her. After knowing this and she still decides to have the baby then that is on her, but I think she at least deserves to know that it probably isn't the best idea.
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Mabel
replied on January 19th, 2008
Moderator
PenguinsRus wrote:

I very very rarely tell girls to get an abortion. I've only mentioned abortion being the best option in two cases on this entire board, and this is one of them. A thirteen year old's body can't support a baby. If you want to go ahead and tell the mother to put her entire life in danger, as well as her childs, just so she can have this baby which she doesn't have any money to support it with (no way you have a job at 13 that can support a child), go for it.

Usually I'm all for options and freedom to do what you want (abort, adopt, or raise the child), but in this case she is at a really high medical risk and it doesn't make sense to have this child at all.

Yes, she needs support, but she also needs people telling her the truth and the risks so she can make the healthiest decision for her and her child.


The fact that abortion comes up on this board so often (as in telling girls to get one) upsets me. I am 100% PRO CHOICE - but that does not mean every incidence of pregnancy requires abortion. In fact, it is a CHOICE. And even though this girl is only 13, the CHOICE is still hers.

What this girl needs is not someone to come on here and tell her she needs to get an abortion. Yes, she is at higher risk for a lot of pregnancy related issues - but it isn't our place to tell her to get an abortion. This is a decision she needs to make with her parents and her doctor.

The first thing this girl needs to do is speak to her parents.
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PenguinsRus
replied on January 19th, 2008
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I'm sorry Sad

I was just giving the advice that I thought was best for her. I do know its her choice, but I still think she needs to hear all sides of the story.

I don't think every teen should get an abortion, nor do I ever really mention abortions on this board (I think I have one other time besides this). I'm pro choice and I think that she does have options, but I still think it is vital for her to have to think about what may happen.

Hopefully she'll talk to her mother and they'll go to a doctor together and work out whatever is best for her.
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Mabel
replied on January 19th, 2008
Moderator
PenguinsRus wrote:
I'm sorry Sad

I was just giving the advice that I thought was best for her. I do know its her choice, but I still think she needs to hear all sides of the story.

I don't think every teen should get an abortion, nor do I ever really mention abortions on this board (I think I have one other time besides this). I'm pro choice and I think that she does have options, but I still think it is vital for her to have to think about what may happen.

Hopefully she'll talk to her mother and they'll go to a doctor together and work out whatever is best for her.


I think getting medical attention is going to be the best thing for her (regardless of what choice is made Smile
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd
replied on January 19th, 2008
Supporter
remember the old days western times and beyond they married at 12-13 and had kids...now im not saying now days that its smart for a 12-13 yr old to have kids but again its there body there choice so again hun please seek medical attention for your own and your childs safety ok
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amethyst eyes
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
She needs to make the choice with the help of her family and doctor. We do not have the right to advise her in any one direction. Times have changed and medical technology helps quite a bit so scaring her into thinking one way or the other is not fair. We do not know her medical history or how her life is outside of this thread.

Please keep it to informing her of options and your experience, no scare tactics please.
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Idony
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
ive read all the other posts and im ignoring them

hun, please talk to your parents, they most likely WILL be angry but you need to get medical help ASAP, your body is sstill growing, it will be hard and possibly dangerous to carry a pregnancy

with that being said you have 3 choices, 1 abortion, if you and your doctor decide abortion is best, you need to do it as early as possible, it may be a good choice for you (i dont like abortion but as i said your body is still growing)

2 adoption, if you cannot or willnot have an abortion (which i completly understand) this may be your best choice, it will be hard to raise a baby, especially at 13, youc ant get a job or a car or a house or anything

3 keeping the baby, this would by far be your hardest option, it is probably the easiest choice but its the hardest in the long run, think first, do you think you can physically and emotionally handle a baby, toddler, child, teen? can you take care of a baby while finishing school? can you provide a decent life ffor your child?

good luck in whatever you decide, and we will be here to help and support you if you need

~alicia~
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amethyst eyes
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Awesome advice Alicia. Thank you for being thoughtful to the situation.


-Danielle
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Carifairy
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
SO YOUNG

JUST in case you are freaking out over a MISSED PERIOD, many many young women have irregular periods, so do not take a missed period as an AUTOMATIC to pregnancy.

You should take a test FIRST. YOU HAVE RIGHTS. You may be 13, but it is YOUR choice what you would like to do with your pregnancy.

You can have an abortion, and you can choose to carry to term, and there are lawyers and advocates out there that can help you understand your rights.

PLEASE try and take a pregnancy test first, if you can.

TELL SOMEONE YOU TRUST. Call a social worker, or have a counselor at school get in touch with a social worker, they can help you in many ways.

IF you cannot tell your parents for fear, there are people out there that WILL help you.
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Martiny
replied on January 19th, 2008
Experienced User
I think you had all your ansers in this post, now all you need to do is see a doctor and talk to your parents. Good luck.
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prettygirlygirl
replied on January 19th, 2008
Experienced User
I was in your position and it totally sucks. I really, really feel for you.

You need to tell your parents right now, you've got a lot of really tough decisions to make in the near future, and no matter what you choose you're going to need the help of a doctor, so find one of those asap.

Please, please, please talk to someone you trust that will give you a realistic view of pregnancy and parenting. YOu need someone to give you some acurate information before you make any big decisions.
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Jude-Love
replied on January 20th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
At 13, you most likely can carry a pregnancy to term, but it may come with serious consequences health-wise. You need to notify your parents and doctor right away so they can evaluate you. It's scary, but you can't wait to let them know because your life and health are a little more at risk than they would be if you were 16 or 17.
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manuftw82
replied on January 20th, 2008
Supporter
It is best you see a doctor. Only a doctor can tell you if your body can not support a pregnancy. Everybody's body is different. From personal experience I was fullgrown at 13. But please just see a doctor and PLESE tell your parents.
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