Um, masturbation is a pretty natural thing. I never understand why people these days are horrified of sex. I'd have been more horrified if your son had accidentally seen the movie Saw, to be honest!! So he saw your husband doing something he probably doesn't even understand. Maybe he's tried it out himself now. So what? it's just masturbation. I'm pretty sure that YOU are the traumatized one, not your son.

My advice? Talk to your son. Ask him if he saw daddy on one of the tapes when he was making copies - for all you know, he didn't! If he did, then calmly explain to your son what your husband was doing, and that it is 100% natural and it's okay if he does it too. Tell him that this is an activity that should be done in the privacy of the bedroom or bathroom, and that people don't normally tape it, but daddy did it as a special gift between married adults.

If your son asks more questions, be prepared to answer them honestly. Don't lie. That's the most harmful thing you can do to your son. If this discussion leads to questions about sex, then tell him. You can repeat kindly that these are activities done between two married or loving adults to maintain the idea that he as a child should not be doing them yet.

Your son is 8. I knew about how babies were made when I was SIX, so I think your son is LONG overdue for "the talk". I asked, so I was told. In this situation, your son has seen some sexual behavior and now he needs an adult to explain this behavior to him. He isn't going to understand otherwise. He may try to masturbate in public. He's not perverted or traumatized or sick - he just doesn't know how to appropriately understand it.

So please, go talk to your son. He is not damaged. He's just fine! You're the only one freaking out, I assure you.

Thank you for your quick reply,Eiri!!! We had the talk a year ago when he asked about sex. We have always been forthcoming and honest (and tried to be proactive ) in communicating age appropriate sex ed when the opportunity would arise since they were toddlers. I also don't freak out if I see them looking at each other or talking about thier bodies.....but this....oh, boy, I would be freaked out, I think, if I were 8 and saw that!!!

Well I don't think it's a much of a shock seriously, I've been to the public bath when I was about 7-9, nothing happened to me. By the way if you don't know, some kids start masturbating at even younger age, like 5 or 6. (I'm not sure but I don't think it's anything bad)

Yeah, I'd been seeing my parents naked pretty much my whole life. I just heard them having sex this morning - nothing loud or obnoxious. It's like "so what?" It's no big deal to me. If they're having sex, it's a GOOD thing, you know?

communication is the key
eiri is righ and i think your best bet would be to talk to him. masturbation is a natural thing and even young kids do it (even though they might not fully comprehend what it is)
its importatnt for people to explore thier bodies and even more important for people to know its OK to explore your bodies

good luck!

I would think it would only really be traumatic if you reacted in a traumatic way, freaking out or not explaining anything. Reassure him that this is an expression of mommy and daddy's love, be honest about everything, he'll be fine.

And he'll have a good story for later.

The proof - one lovely day i walked upstairs into my 7 and 5 year old's room (when they were living at home) the bedroom door was open and i noticed my son was already lying in bed in mid-afternoon, when i got closer inside the doorway i noticed right away what was going on. I didn't critisize him doing this, i told him it was okay to be curious about his body, its only natural, as long as other people were not doing this to him, but he should go in the bathroom and lock the door if he gets an urge to do this.. I never caught him doing this again.. not sure if it was the right advice to other parents to their 7yr old sons, but i was somewhat proud of myself that day with him

anyways thought i'd share Take Care & Godspeed one and all

I agree, I think you should explain to him what it was and that it is a natural thing. I know parents usually try to shelter their children, which isn't a bad thing, but some things they shouldn't need to be sheltered from, just exposed to in the right ways. I had an older brother, so by the time I was 5 I probably knew more than most 13 year olds. I also walked in on my parents having sex a few times when I was little, and I wasn't traumatized or anything. My 11 year old cousin, on the other hand, is still under the impression that god puts babies in mommys' tummies lol

Thank you all for your replies. I still haven't approached my son. I am at a loss as to how I would broach the subject. I really don't know if he saw it in the first place and not quite sure he would be forthcoming if he were asked.

I'd come up to him wherever he is and say "Hey son, I saw you made some tapes of Polar Express a while back. Did you see anything different on those tapes when you made the copies?" If he looks confused, ask, "Did you see daddy on one of the tapes?" If he says no, he may just plain not remember - in which case, no worries! - or he really didn't see it... in which case, also no worries!!