Struggling With Weight Obsession. Posted: 04-26-04 13:06pm
Guys, i'm really having a time with this
fat thing. I am 5'3", and 129 pounds.
Everyone keeps telling me I look
fine, but whenever I look in the mirror I
just wish I was someone else. I'm
down to only eating about 400 calories a
day, and i'm so tired. I'm having an
extremely hard time dealing with the fact
that i'm bigger than I used to be. I
can't stand it. I hate myself now.
I struggled with anorexia when I was in
middle school and part of my freshman year
when I was in high school. I think I
might actually be having a relapse.
Even when i'm hungry, I don't eat but a
few bites...I can't. Two reason why I
can't....I feel guilty and I just feel
sick when I eat. Some of my friends
call me stupid and think i'm crazy and
some even tell me "ur gonna die", but it's
something that I can't really control.
I am so obsessed about my weight that I
weigh myself 3 times a day and try on my
pre-pregnancy pants every night before I
go to bed to see if i've gotten any
smaller so that I can fit into them.
I have a journal that I write down how
many calories I eat each day and how many
fat calories I eat each day. Then I
figure out how long I will have to work
out to burn off as many calories as I
ate...Plus some. Please don't judge
me, I just want to talk about it with
someone. I know kari has struggled
with this in the past, but I don't know of
anyone else on here yet that has. If
anyone would like to reply, i'd appreciate
it.
I'll post a picture so you can see what
i'm talking about. Here is 2 month
post-pregnancy .F.A.T me (look how chubby
my belly is ) :
blu
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honeycoco
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2003 Posts: 375 Location: georgia
Posted: 04-26-04 13:22pm
Girl you look so good. Alot of girls
would kill to be your size. Im 5"1 and I
weigh 135 lbs and I look good
p.S. Guys dont wont a stick! They like a
little meat to grab on. You are so
pretty! Please dont let that get you down
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BbyBlu0602
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 822 Location: Virginia
Posted: 04-26-04 13:27pm
I know, but i'm not good enough for
myself. I want to weigh 115 again at
least. I'd like to weigh 110, but I feel
like that is impossible. I'll be happy
once I reach my old weight of 115. I was
eating 600 calories a day and got down to
129 from like 140 something, but now that
i'm at 129, it's like i've hit a brick
wall and i'm stuck. I haven't lost
anymore weight. I even knocked down my
calories from 600 to 400 and nothing is
happening yet.
Blu
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honeycoco
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2003 Posts: 375 Location: georgia
Posted: 04-26-04 13:31pm
Try walking and drinking alot of water.
You will lose it but dont try to lose it
so fast its unhealthy.
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BbyBlu0602
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 822 Location: Virginia
Posted: 04-26-04 13:37pm
I've heard that drinking ice water will
burn calories and eating certain "negative
calorie foods" will make you lose weight
fast. I drink a lot of water, but we
don't always have ice in the freezer.
We're probably like the only people that
don't have ice in their fridge. Haha.
Blu
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 1473 Location: Canada
Posted: 04-26-04 14:10pm
Omg you look so good. I would die to have
ur body. I am 4"11 and like 165.I have a
promblem when I eat its junk food. And I
barley eat this is what I had today.
~a wrap from subway, ice tea
~steak, veggies
~strawberries
~1 pop gingerale
thats all I have had today I have the
weridest body shape ever! I hate it. I
have big boobs a big tummy small thighs
and a$$. All I want is a flat tummy. I
try to lose weight but I always fall off
of it. My looks at the moment is making
me want to kill myself. I hate how I look
I am crying right now cuz it hurts me so
much when people look at me werid and call
ma fat and sh*t I hate it. I think the
reason why I don't have a boyfriend is my
body. I never ever take my shirt off when
I have sex. I hate it!I wish I could be
115 lbs I was that in grade 8. When I
started getting despsestion(sp?) thats
when I started gaining weight. Food was
my friend made me feel better.
Alison xoxo
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BbyBlu0602
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 822 Location: Virginia
Posted: 04-26-04 14:14pm
Alison, you're like me. I don't eat much
at all. When I do eat, I try to eat
natural foods though...Like fruit or
veggies. I eat cereal with fat free milk
sometimes too. With my depression it's
opposite, because it makes me want to
starve myself instead of eat. Have you
ever had an eating disorder? Or do you
have one currently?
Blu
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 1473 Location: Canada
Posted: 04-26-04 14:23pm
I try to eat good foods too like veggies
and fruit. But they don't feel me up
really. I dont think I have an e/d I dont
eat alot but when I do eat I bunge(sp?) I
cant stop it! I hate it so much! I try
and not eat but its hard. I go all day
without food till I get home than I eat.
I also smoke weed and it makes me get the
munchies sometimes so thats bad. Tommrrow
I am going to try and be good. Not smoke
weed and try and eat healthy and
exersize(sp?) well I better jet to bed its
10:30 pm here and I got school tomrrow I
have a test!! I havent had a test in
almost 2 years! do you have msn or
yahoo? My msn is strawberrykoolaid13@hotmail.Com
and yahoo sugarbunny903 ttyls*kiss*
alison xoxo
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little_woman
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2004 Posts: 765
Posted: 04-26-04 15:55pm
You guys sound just like me when I was
15-16. I am 5'1 and I weighed 140lbs
going into high school. I felt awful all
the time and did what I could to lose
weight and starved and dieted to 105 by
the time I was a senior. It never made me
happy even when I was thin, because I had
messed up my insides so badly I was
moodier than usual and had issues about
eating whenever I went out with friends.
I realized I changed the scenery and not
the situation. When I got to college I
ballooned up to 125 and felt terrible at
first but I realized I was the only one
who noticed the change and no one else
did. Not even my bf (now my ex, that
problem) at the time. I didnt even notice
when I lost the weight. I'm down to my
old weight of 105 and feel terrible cause
of the way I keep doing it. Dont make
that same mistake you two, do it right,
exercise about 2-3 times a week, drink
lots of water, limit or cut out your soda,
watch calories and fat, and since you both
are petite, remember that healthy weight
for us small ladies is up to 125lbs. And
guys do like a little something to grab on
to. Dont let this f**ked up skinny loving
society tell you what you should look
like, you cannot be airbrushed like them!
And thank god for that! Natural is better
all the way!!
Stay in there girls,
love
meg
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 04-26-04 20:14pm
Omg please dont do this to yourself!!!
As u know, ive definitly delt with thi,
still am. . U dont wanna end up in
the hospital..You have a son to care about
and u have to put him ahead of your
weight.. U cant do that if ur too sick
to take care of him (and that will happen
if u continue) I know you feel stuck..
But seriously u look terrific and im not
just saying that. If u are struggling
with anorexia and in a relapse, even if u
looked like a stick supermodel then u wont
be able to see it. Eating 400 cals a
day isnt the way to do it .. At all..
Its acttually the oposite of what u
should do. I used to do the same
things, write it down, everybite, never go
over 500 cals a day.. Praise myself for
eating even less then that etc etc..
But im telling u, if u wanna be able to
lose weight and be healthy, now or later,
eating like this will only slow your
metabolism. I ate like this for a long
long time till I ended up in the
hospital.. Then after wards when I
finally decided to change.. .It was
sooo hard! I gained so easily.. It
really does screw up ur metabolism so u
have to stop now or im telling u it will
get worse. Im seriously worried for u..
U have a son to take care of. .I
cant imagine taking care of a baby when I
was at that point in my life....Please..
Try to eat healthy and beat that voice in
your head.. U will end up much better
in the end..Dont strive for something u
probably wont even be able to acknowlege
in the end. It does take over ur head..
During the summer at my lower point I
was 101 lbs and 5'8...I thought I was
fat!! Its ridiculous.. Now I see
those pictures and im just like 'omg I am
all bones.. I dont even look good'' .
. And I didnt.. Please try to
follow a healthy eating plan so u can look
thin (which u already do!!!) and healthy!
The longer u let this voice be in ur head
and beat out your own true self concious..
It will be so hard trying to make it go
away..Iit took me months and months to
stop what I was doing, and I still have to
try my hardest even today..Also, as it
progresses.. Bulimia could start too
(which I had the worst time with) .. And
god. .What that does to ur body, looks
and metabolism is just horid... The
earlier u stop the better. If u look
online theres tons of information on
eating the healthy way and still losing
weight.. Or maintaining wweight.. And
its defintily not starving. If u eat
1,500-1,800 depending on ur bmr.. U can
lose, and this weight is more permanate
weight loss because its healthy., u just
have to eeatt the right foods......Pls
look into it!
kari--i know, but it's so hard. I try to
eat right, but I feel so guilty after I
eat and I feel like i'm gaining weight
with every bite I take. It seems so
gross.
Blu
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 04-27-04 10:09am
Trust me ive been there. .But u gotta
beat that voice.. If u keep it up u wont
be able to eat anytihng without gaining.
If u stop now.. U will be able to still
eat and maintain and lose.. U just gotta
beat the voice and force urself no matter
what. .
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 04-28-04 00:49am
Last edited by insurancegirl on 10-21-04 12:20pm; edited 1 time in total
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BbyBlu0602
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 822 Location: Virginia
Posted: 05-01-04 03:17am
Omg, yesterday I ate 305 calories and I
worked out for a few hours and burned
906.9 calories. When I was done, I felt
really tired, but that was about it. I
took a shower and layed down and went to
sleep. Sometime during the am hours, I
woke up and could barely breathe and I
could feel my heart beating in my chest.
So, I figured I needed to eat something.
I ate a bowl of cheerios and a little
while later I started to feel better
enough that I could go back to sleep. It
was the weirdest thing. I took a break
from working out for a day, but i'm going
to start my routine again either tonight
or tomorrow morning. I'm wondering where
my parents are. I woke up this morning
and they were gone and they took ethan
with them too. Maybe they went shopping.
Well, I just woke up about 20 minutes
ago, so i'm gonna get off here and get
something for breakfast.
Blu
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 05-01-04 03:23am
Last edited by insurancegirl on 10-21-04 12:21pm; edited 1 time in total
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silvertax6966
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2004 Posts: 161 Location: new york city
Posted: 05-01-04 03:24am
Xxxxx
Last edited by silvertax6966 on 02-15-06 23:43pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 2729 Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posted: 05-01-04 04:45am
Listen up chick, before I had sean I was a
bigger girl as a younger girl. I moved to
florida and dropped down to 120... And I
was 5'1. I got pregnant and everything
changed. I am not 150 and I am 5'2. That
is not good. But when you have this baby
and you look in his or her eyes, that wont
matter, because some people would kill to
have him or her and you have them. You
made it. You are going to be fine. And I
am not saying dont strive to get it back,
but dont stress yourself. I am starting
to watch what I eat again. And it is
hurting me, it has been a year. But I am
not, not going to enjoy a cookie or
something... I hope this helps..