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Q: knowing what you know now
asked by: Idony on January 18th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
would you have waited until you were a little older to have kids?

if so what age? if not why?

~alicia~
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anniek
replied on January 18th, 2008
Experienced User
You know that's a hard one to answer. I think I may have waited a couple more years until I was like 20. But my life has turned out well and now my hubby and I are most likely done having kids so when we are in our early 40s the kids will be out of the house and we can have the fun we didn't have when we where young. Of course it will be different fun! And we'll have the money to do it by then. Like traveling and stuff. But those first few years where hard. And I missed alot of stuff with school and friends. But i don't regret it because I have my wonderful kids to make me smile everyday!
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Mabel
replied on January 18th, 2008
Moderator
Oh yes!!! YES YES YES!! Knowing what I now know about so many things, I'd have waited until I was 25 . I'd have gone to school. I'd have gone places. Done things. I'd have spoiled myself rotten and been incredibly selfish!

Would I still want my son? Obviously I wouldn't change that part for the world. But I would want a way better life FOR HIM a life I couldn't provide with no education and no job skills. 16 is young to have a child to care for. I know now if I'd waited, we could have had a much much better life together!
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Idony
replied on January 18th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
i know its a hard one, thats why i asked lol, im trying to get this forum going again like it use to, now its pretty much filled with am i pregnant posts and stuff i want to put this forum back on the map

personally i would have waited, its really hard putting my life on hold for my daughter, i love her to death and right now i wouldnt change a thing, but if i hadnt had her yet but still knew what it would be like i would have waited, my baby brings so much to my life but if i could have had her a few years later i think i would that would have given me time to figre out life and go to college and get a job without worrying about her, and make my husband and my relationship stronger and all that

i dont regret anything though, i even want to try for baby #2 starting aroung june sometime, then we will wait a few years so they can get older a little and maybe i can go to college for a while

~alicia~
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young Girl
replied on January 18th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
personally,no
why? because my life hasnt really changed THAT much. i mean it HAS dont get me wrong but i actually enjoy things this way? i dunno. i also liked labor so maybe im just a freak Laughing

there are times when i wish i would have waited only because i miss the "teen" life before she was born. when you could just go out anytime anywhere, do teenage things. but really the only thing i dont do anymore is party. psht who cares? im not into the whole drug/lets get drunk/scene anyway.
id much rather be where i am in life. im happy. its hard but im happy Very Happy
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Katrinadoodle
replied on January 18th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
No. I think my life is better now. My boss is nicer to me because she was a teen mom herself, I think that's why she let me switch to the childcare center, with the raise Laughing I'm finishing school a year early, my grades are better, and I'm happier than I've ever been, and I got the hell away from my mom, something I've wanted to do for YEARS.
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Jude-Love
replied on January 19th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
I wish I wouldn't have waited. I wish Raymond and I had started having children maybe two years ago. Or three. I don't want to be over thirty and still making babies or trying to.
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fairytale007
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
would you have waited until you were a little older to have kids? Yes, I would have waited. I was always set on getting married before having kids and finishing up my schooling.

if so what age? if not why? I would have waited until I graduated from college in 2 years and got married...so that would have been 22.
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yellow ribbon
replied on January 19th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Jude-Love wrote:
I wish I wouldn't have waited. I wish Raymond and I had started having children maybe two years ago. Or three. I don't want to be over thirty and still making babies or trying to.


ya i was thinking about it today and my one aunt will b 50 when her youngest is 15 and my other one will be 60 when her oldest is 18!
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october05_mommy
replied on January 19th, 2008
Experienced User
Not for the world.! I love being a mommy, especially a young one. I have plenty of energy to keep up w.my daughter, & soon-to-be as well as, my son. Life couldn't be much more perfect than it is now. I also enjoy being at home w.her & it'll def. make breastfeeding Braeson easier. I do have goals in life, that are on hold for the moment... I have everything I need in life & that's the happiness that they bring me, as well as my s/o. Saying that, I've actually been debating on whether, or not I really want to fulfill the dreams I was had.. b.c. it seems as if my dreams have already came tru. I love my life. I love my babies.!!
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Martiny
replied on January 19th, 2008
Experienced User
No i would not wait, the both of us wanted kids young, i love being a young mom. I wont be having babies after 25 i know that.
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rosejackson
replied on January 19th, 2008
Supporter
yes i would have waited until i had finished college and had a good job with money coming in. i would've been married at least a year and had a good home. but unfortunately i cant change the things that have happened
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RebelCats
replied on January 19th, 2008
Experienced User
Re: knowing what you know now
Idony wrote:
would you have waited until you were a little older to have kids?

if so what age? if not why?

~alicia~


Yes. I love my kids dearly but yes I would have waited longer to have them. I had 4 kids in a relatively short time period (17-23). I did not finish school, I did not get a GED, I did not further my education. I will be 28 in July and I am just now to the point where I can get my GED and further my education. And tho I love my kids its hard to provide for all of them with low paying jobs.

How old would have liked to have waited till? I don't know. Whatever age it took to get an education and get a good job and be stable. Then have them at whatever age that would have been.
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Verizon-y
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Re: knowing what you know now
RebelCats wrote:
Idony wrote:
would you have waited until you were a little older to have kids?

if so what age? if not why?

~alicia~


Yes. I love my kids dearly but yes I would have waited longer to have them. I had 4 kids in a relatively short time period (17-23). I did not finish school, I did not get a GED, I did not further my education. I will be 28 in July and I am just now to the point where I can get my GED and further my education. And tho I love my kids its hard to provide for all of them with low paying jobs.

How old would have liked to have waited till? I don't know. Whatever age it took to get an education and get a good job and be stable. Then have them at whatever age that would have been.


I can't imagine why anyone would want anything besides what you've written here. Maybe those who respond differently haven't really been exposed to the realities of life yet. Maybe they haven't had to support their families with a minimum wage job. Maybe some of them still live with their parents, so they really aren't raising children on their own.
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RebelCats
replied on January 19th, 2008
Experienced User
I don't know futureshock. I did not come from a family with a lot of money so its not like they could really support me and a baby. When I moved out I tried to do my best but I was young and min. wage at best was all I could get for work. My family never pushed me to stay in school when I became pregnant the first time. I wish they had. Then I gave up guardianship when I knew I just could not do what needed to be done for my son.

When I was 19 I got pregnant a second time. I was working for a grocery store. I was offered a higher paying position but turned it down for dumb reasons that I know regret. After I had him I stay out of work for a year because I could not afford daycare. My boyfriend then (now husband) was a manager at a pizza place. We just barely stayed a float.

When he turned a year old I went to work at a car wash and my step mom watched him for me for a cheap rate. It was a full service car wash barely min. wage. 6-7 months in got pregnant again. Worked for a few months but had to quit because the work was 2 hard when I was pregnant. I wanted my tubes tied after that one but could not find a doctor to do that.

When he was a year old maybe sooner. I went to work at a factory. There I made 7-8 dollars an hour. Again I became pregnant and quit. It was a stressful job. Got my tubes tied after I had my last son.

During all that time getting an education was the furtherest from my mind. I had kids to raise and jobs to do.

This past Nov. through Jan. I worked in pecan groves to make extra money. Let me tell you its hard work for little pay. I even took my oldest 2 sons out there with me to show that what I had to do to make a little money. And unless this is what they want to do for the rest of their lives then they need to get an education.

Now at 27 I am finally to the point where I can go back to school. This coming school year I will have all the boys in all day school and I can go back to school during the day. I could not do this before because I had a young child at home and could not afford a baby sitter. I have no family here so I could not take night classes. I have no family here so I have no one to watch the kids for a few hours so I can take a GED test.

So yeah if I had to do it over I would have waited until I had an education, a good job and a home. Not a rental like now but a home. Everyday it kills me that I raise my kids in a rental instead of a solid place that they can call home.
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Verizon-y
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Wow. You have been through (and continue to go through) a lot. Thanks for sharing all of it.

Owning a home is a wonderful feeling. For kids, knowing it will always be there for them is very comforting and it helps to ground them.
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oh_mommy
replied on January 19th, 2008
Supporter
knowing what i know now i would still be the same
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jessesgirl
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I think some of you girls need to wait a few more months before answering this question.
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amethyst eyes
replied on January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I do not think owning a home makes a large difference. If anything you are putting more of a burden on the finances because you have to pay for EVERYTHING. When the ac goes out, you fix it, no one else.

As far as you go Futureshock, what exactly are you contributing to this thread? You are not even answering the main questions raised by this thread.

As far as having children, I do not, but if i ever do it will be when I have finished my education (college), am married and in a stable loving relationship and feel that I am emotionally and financially ready. I know I am responsible enough and could do it but that does not mean it is a good idea.
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd
replied on January 19th, 2008
Supporter
cause she always has to put her 2 non informing cents in.
and if you paid enough attention to what i write future youd know that i know have 3 kids and am married and no there isnt any difference i still pay for all of my kids things and am raising them basically by myself cause he is overthe road trucker so pphhhtttt!!!!!!!
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