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no erection with other girls

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January 18th, 2008
Hey guys. I've been with my same girlfriend on and off since probably 10th grade (I'm a senior in college now). When we go to have sex or do anything else, I never have a problem getting an erection. It's mostly instantaneous as soon as we take our clothes off. However, I did have the opportunity in high school during one of our "off" times to get with another really pretty girl. When we went to do stuff, I couldn't get an erection even a little bit. This bothered me for a loooong time. And now, even years later, when I imagine being with a very attractive girl who is not my girlfriend, everything inside of me wants to have sex with this girl, but I honestly feel like I could NOT get an erection if this naked hottie appeared infront of me. I don't know if it's because I'm so used to my girlfriend, or what. Has anyone else ever been in this situation? I feel sometimes that my girlfriend is the only girl I can get an erection with. Thanks a lot for the help.
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fiona05
replied January 18th, 2008
Supporter
ummm... are you talking about wanting to cheat on your girlfriend? just clarify for me please.

and yes the anxiety you experience is normal. well whenever you tried with this girl when you and your girlfriend were on a break, i'm sure performance anxiety was affecting you. Also perhaps you deep down felt a bit bad for being with someone different, even if it wasnt cheating. maybe you still had feelings for the girl you are with now.

there's nothing wrong with you, if that's what you're asking. you're just comfortable and at ease with your girlfriend. that's how it is when you are with someone for a while. being with anyone new is always strange and daunting at first.
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kdesky3
replied January 18th, 2008
thanks for the post! And no, I'm not talking about cheating on my girlfriend, just a fantasy "what if I didn't have a girlfriend" type of thing.
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Georgia59
replied January 18th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Well maybe you just value the relationship part more than the sex part! I think if I imagine having sex with some hot stranger, I would be really turned on and excited. But sex is so much about love to me, that if I was actually going to have sex with someone I wasn't really in a relationship with, I wouldn't get very turned on or anything, it would just be awkward. I'm just not the one-night stand kind of girl. Maybe you aren't the one-night stand kind of guy?
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Jude-Love
replied January 19th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
My husband experienced the same thing while he was single. My guess is that you feel mixed up about being single and wouldn't feel completely interested in some random girl and you know that. Some people just can't do it.
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the_man
replied February 12th, 2009
same problem
The same problem is happening with me now!!! and i hate it!

i met this really really hot girl and she wants to have sex with me more than i want..but i cant have an erection when im with her! i didnt love my girlfriend, but i stayed with her for a long time..whenever i see my x-gf, i have an erection, but whenever i am with this hot girl and i want to have an erection, i jst cant have it !!!

i really need some help about this !
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starship33
replied May 22nd, 2009
Supporter
does it have anything to do with being nervous.
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Narfolee
replied April 13th, 2012
Feel ya pain
I get an erection when I make out with the girl I'm dating, but just a little while ago I hooked up with another girl. We did everything but sex, but I could not get a full boner for the life of me. She was giving me a hand job and I kept going limp.

I think maybe ability to to get a boner is all about how you feel sometimes I guess. I know how you feel man, I was pissed because I couldn't get one - but I guess thats a sign that I should concentrate on the girl who I like!

I hope I don't end up with ED...
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