Eating Disorders Forum - Whats Wrong With Me?

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Anorexia nervosa is one of several eating disorders. But what is anorexia exactly and who does it affect? Get anorexia basics and facts in this short intro....

Q: Whats Wrong With Me?

asked by: hayleyJade on April 25th, 2004

New User

Hi. I am a 16 yr old female, 5’6” (or 168cm) and at the moment I weigh 50kgs (at the start I was about 64kgs)
i walk for 50 mins 5 times a wk, go for a 3.6km run about 4-5 times a wk, do kickboxing and yoga once a wk and I also do abdominal workouts all throughout the week. Lately though I havnt been doing as much because I get dizzy spells esp. When I stand up.

I weigh myself everyday and get soooo angry and upset if the number on the scales hasnt gone down.

I have recently been eating around 300 cals a day for 2-3wks at a time, followed by a binge. I then vomit an use laxatives to make up for it- and the cycle begins again. Im so fed up with it all.

It all started when I began to notice my body changing and getting what my dad called ‘puppy fat’- which I obviously wasn’t happy with- so I decided to go on a 'diet'- I exercised and ate healthy by switching normal milk to no-fat soy milk, brown bread to white etc etc. And going vegetarian. After a while I got disappointed because I wasn’t losing weight fast enough. Someone gave me a weight watchers book which I memorised and followed and I read absolutely everything to do with diets, exercise, fitness, nutrition etc. But then I bought a calorie counter book an decided to count calories instead of the points, and based my ‘diet’ around that. At the start I ate 1500 cals a day, but then it went down to 900, 800 and now its 300.

I no this is probably a bit low but it’s the only way I can lose weight fast. But now I don’t know what is normal eating and normal exercise. I know im not anorexic cos im not thin enough (im not sure if im bulimic) but the reason im asking is that everyone (family/friends) are bugging me about my weight loss (ive lost around 15kgs). One of my teachers even told me not to lose anymore weight infront of the whole class. I was embarrassed and angry at her. How come a naturally thin girl is praised for her looks, but when a fat girl is trying to lose weight ppl try to stop her? I don’t understand. Its like everyone else can be thin, but not me. Its like nobody wants me to be happy and beautiful.

I hate binging and im scared that when I start eating im never gonna stop. I love feeling in control and getin that buzz when I don’t eat. Am I bulimic? If iam how do I stop?

Im sorry if this is too detailed or whatever but it kinda makes me feel betta to share this wid everyone cos I havnt told anyone b4.

I just want to go back to being a kid with no worries or problems.

Replies(7)

zilbucks

replied on May 1st, 2004

Experienced User

I'm sorry what your going through. I wouldn't necessarily say you are bulimic, unless you binge and throw up your food, which it doesn't eem like you are doing. You may not *look anorexic, but what your doing is starving your body from nutrients. When you go under a certain amount of calories, your metablosim slows down, in order to preserve the nutrients that you are allowing it to receive, int turn weight may hang around longer, than if you were to go say 1200 calories. I was allso a vegtetarian- not anymore- and its tough to get the right nutrients/ protein that your body needs- in turn I was becoming dizzy, moody, and my periods actually stopped. Now that I have healthy fats and protein back in my diet i'm no longer dizzy- the moodiness asscociated with hunger is gone, and my periods are very consistent. Lack of calories and vitamins can casue dizzy spells, which I assume is why you are having them. You sound alot like me excercise wise. Lets say you eat 300 - 500 cals a day and are doing all of that excercise, you most likely burned all the calories you ate- which means your total daily calorie count = zero. So although you may not look anorexic, you have the mentality and eating pattern of a true anorexic- which is not healthy. I'm glad you joined this forum- it's hard to get on track when your consumed by what you believe you should and want to look like. Take care of your body, give it what it needs, and the weight will eventually take care of itself.

bellax0femmina

replied on May 1st, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Just because you may not look sickly thin, doesnt mean your anorexic. To me, it sounds you are both bulimic and anorexic and should get some help. You can loose weight, but they way youre doing it is not good or healthy. Working out is fine, but eathing 300 clas a day is not. I suggest you get some help and get yourself on the right track! Im here for support if you need me!! =) good luck!

<3
gaby

hayleyJade

replied on May 2nd, 2004

New User

Its such a relief to get a response from you both thanks for your support and opinions really. I cant talk to anyone and its so hard to hold everything in all the time.I definately wil try to stop the throwing up an using laxatives cos I no its really bad for me. I kinda no my eating habits are not all that healthy but I will start eating more when im skinny enough - and I no most people say that but I do mean it, I wouldn’t purposely hurt my body and get to the stage where im nearly dead or anything!

I have another question tho. My friends and parents have spoken to my teachers and are making me go to counselling. They say I have no choice. Is this legal? Surely if a 16 yr old can move outta home without their parents stopping them, then they cant make me do something I don’t wanna do, what a waste of time!!!! Please please please I need your help, if I go, what should I do?

zilbucks

replied on May 2nd, 2004

Experienced User

Hayley, I can relate to you on a quite a few things.
1) I used to be bulimic
2) I was forced into therapy when I was 16 (not because of bulimia)
3) light headed ness, etc from lack of food
4) extreme excercise

it scares me to see what you are going through right now. No you shouldn't *have to go to a counselor if you do not want to, however whn I was 16 law took over my rights to choose if I wanted to go or not.- I don';t know if that applies where you live or not. I wish when I was forced to go I had taken advantage of the counsleing, becasue of issues i'm currently dealing with. I'm telling you right now, whether or not you choose to believe me- #1) laxatives do not make you lose fat, they just make you relieve yourself, causing the scale to register lower.
#2) if you starve yourself down to your desired weight, then begin to eat normal or bigger amounts of healthy food, guess what happens? Your body gains weight. It does this becasue you have starved it so long, that your stomach shrinks, your metabolism slows down, and tries to hold on to whatever food it can.
#3) when your metabolism slows down, you lose weight muuuuuch slower, then if you were to eat regular healthy portion sized meals- hence you starve yourself, your body actually begins to eat its muscle in turn, you lose muscle, so all the excercise you are doing in trying to build muscle tone your body whatever is actually being x'd out.
#4) if you were to eat 4-5-6 meals a day, healthy ones to start with 1200 calories- which is low, you'd lose weight healthier faster then you would by starvation, laxatives, orrr bulimia. I actually gained all my weight from bulimia believe it or not.
#5) if you go for long periods with out eating, say days or weeks months, and you introduce a solid becasue you are sooo hungry and deprived- the shock to your system from what you have done, may actually kill you.- your dizziness that you are experiencing from such low calories is actually lack of oxygen to your brain, which will make you moody, and confused and unable to focus.
I wish you would go to the counselor, I wish everything I just said gets through to you, becasue I have been through it too. Please keep us updated on how you are and try and be good to your body

Hoffmanm

replied on May 3rd, 2004

New User

An average teenager should be getting around 2000 - 3000 calories a day. Starving yourself is the perfect way to gain weight.
Your current exercise plan is good, keep it up, but you need to eat more, I would suggest a healthy mix of fruits and vegetables, along with hefty amount of meat. The nutrients you gain from eating meat will keep your body well supplied.

And your body weight will go up, its called muscle mass. Muscle is 5 times heavier than fat. But keeping that muscle mass up, and eating enough food will get rid of that fat, it'll take time, but you're trading muscle for fat. Don't worry about your body weight, that will only depress you, concentrate on physical abilities, when you have high physical ability, you'll realize that you aren't fat anymore. Avoid scales, they will only depress you.

zilbucks

replied on May 3rd, 2004

Experienced User

Everything hoffman said is right hayley,

but I just want to add so you don't get skiddish- muscle weighs more than fat and takes up much much less space

purple333

replied on May 3rd, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Everything you are being told above is right. Just to put a picture in your mind to maybe help my daughter is 150cm & now weighs 47kgs her weight had dropped to 32kgs & she herself descibed herself as looking like someone in a concentration camp so way too low (in her case although she was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa it was in fact due to her having irritable bowel syndrome) her weight has gone up abit higher than she'd like because her body was so starved that it is still in the mode of sasying hey! I'm finally getting food but it may not last so i'll store some just in case it stops coming!!

In other words her body was starved so when nutrients/food came back her body stored it, as her body realizes that the food will keep coming her weight will balance out. She does alot of walking as her university is on the side of a hill & she carries huge weights in books. Her ideal weight for 150cm is between 42 & 45kg so!! As you are 168cm your ideal weight is definately above 50kgs - just that comparison says you are anorexic & your body will not be reacting normally.

What your teacher did was totally wrong & will only have made things worse. As to whether it is legal to force yu to see a counsellor - itr depends on where you live & also on whether you have made any statements that make people think you might be a risk to yourself or others (like say suicide as then often other laws come into play).

My advice is reduc e the exercise abit, increase the food/calorie intake (include meat unless being a vegetarian is actually a moral choice) & realize that it will take quite q while for your body to understand what the hell is happening & accept that you will (asssuming you do) keep feeding it & that it doesn't have to store food against the time when the food stops.

As to seeing a counsellor, 1) it might help - even if only by shutting people up/calming their nerves etc!! 2) if you really hate the person insist on seeing someone else - you can't get help from a person (my daughter had a couple of real idiots before finding someone who actually listened, was consistent & made sense!! 3) you do need help.

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