Of course i love oral sex
but my boyfriend just "isnt into it"
he wont even try.. he is like a baby
saying it would feel all icky on his
tongue and ra ra, im so over the excuses!
anyway.. i still give him oral though, i
dont mind it.. but i would really
appreciate getting the favour returned....
he has even led me to stray a few times to
my ex boyfriend who LOVES to go down on
me.. (i guess some guys are really into it
and some arent)
it kind of makes me feel like im being
used... but with his reassurance that he
just isnt into it and ALWAYS makes me
reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation with
his fingers...(thats when we dont have
sex)
We love playing around more...
Sometimes i give him ultimatums, like if
you dont go down on me then i wont go down
on you.. .and he is all like "why cant u
see that its just not my thing.. and so
forth"
and he is like well you cant be all angry
for the rest of your life because i wont
go down on you.... the thing is he never
gets off if i dont go down on him!! aghh
its not a HUGE issue.. but it would just
make things so much easier... especially
since i know ALOT of other guys who LOVE
it.
I just want to know if any1 else is in
this situation?
Or maybe you, as a female get oral, but
you dont give to your man?
Help!
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 01-15-08 12:38pm
Stop going down on him. I think he's
really just being a very lazy lover and
doesn't want to do any giving, just
taking.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 01-15-08 13:17pm
Has he even tried it??
I'd try this- take a bath together, allow
him to make sure you're nice and clean (if
that's what he's worried about) and then
request it- no excuses! Have him try it a
few times (not just the one time) and if
he STILL doesn't do it, well then I guess
that's up to you.
If he refuses to even try, then refuse to
do him.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-17-08 08:39am
it puzzles me... men who don't like doing
it. i thought it would be a big part of
thier male pride wanting to give their
partner sexual gratification and knowing
they were able to please them.
when (or if) he ever goes down on you make
sure you tell him how good the things he
is doing make you feel. be passionate,
make some noise! when he sees how much it
gets you going it should give him a
confidence boost and he'll come to enjoy
it more simply because he sees how much
you do!
well that's the idea anyway. if it doesnt
work and there is no improvement, i
suppose you could stop giving him favours
- it would be more fair that way. but at
the same time it wont be doing your
relationship any good... having the
attitude that 'if you wont do it for me,
then i wont do it for you'. the best way
to get him to be more generous and giving
is to show him generosity and giving
yourself. but maybe you are already doing
this and it isnt
working............................. well
maybe you can just talk to him at more
length. not in a jumping-down-his-throat
kind of way, but just as a discussion
where you share your feelings on the
matter and maybe can reach some
compromises.
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xoxox
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2008 Posts: 20 Location: ,
Posted: 01-17-08 09:12am
I think the bath idea is good. Personally
I only let my man go down on me if ive
just showered , but that's just my
preference, and he always says that its
nice to go down on a fresh you-know-what.
Its worth a shot. Also just tell him how
much this bothers you (with out getting
into an arguement) and if he really loves
you maybe he'll give it a try Good Luck
Jen
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4144 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Posted: 01-17-08 16:50pm
Whatever you do, don't marry him.
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LadyAllie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 104 Location: ,
Posted: 01-17-08 21:40pm
its kind of the opposite for me. my bf
loves going down on me. i was the one who
was reluctant at first. he loves the taste
and everything. i go down on him, but i
wont let him finish in my mouth.
i wouldnt go down on him at first unless
we had just taken a shower together, or
after he had gotten out of the shower. i
still prefer that, but i dont make a huge
deal about it anymore. i think try a bath
or shower together.
also if he does give you handjobs, see if
he'll taste it once off of his fingers. my
bf did that before he ever went down on
me.
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lele25
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Dec 2007 Posts: 518 Location: Southland, USA
Thanks: 28
Thanked:44
Posted: 01-17-08 22:18pm
Birch
wrote:
Whatever you do, don't marry
him.
Aint that the truth!!! LOL can you imagine
spending the rest of your life with a guy
who won't return the favor of oral sex?
Well, even though I enjoy doing it for my
husband, I more than likely would not do
it if he did'nt return the favor.
Thankfully though my hubby likes doing it
for me so life is good for both of us! I
agree that he's just being a lazy
lover...hun that's gotta stop! Deffinately
do the bath thing and see what happens!
Good luck!!!
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Neek
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2008 Posts: 20 Location: ,
Posted: 01-19-08 05:01am
Thanks for your honest opinion girlies!
Its not the bath thing, we are both very
cautious on cleanliness and safety when it
comes to the bedroom, i have to give that
to him....
He kind of has the attitude, its not my
thing, i dont like it, but i get you off
from fingering? and he gets off NOT from a
handjob but from ORAL... ive lived with it
for a bit.... but its starting to bug
me...
I mean, i love him dearly... but its
getting to the point where if i didnt know
how good it felt i could probably live
without it........
But i have even gone off and recieved oral
from my ex boyfriend, jst to satisfy me
that way....
I know im in the wrong too...
But i just wish he would see the light
I dont think the relationship will last,
which is a bum.... He isnt the type of
person i can see myself with long term..
He is very stuck in the "im going to be a
bachelor for the rest of my life"
moment.......
Maybe if he grows up and sees that he wont
get anything better than me, than he will
return the favour (or id like to hope!)
but now im just being silly..
Thanks for opinion...
Just wanted to see if there were any
others in the situation
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-19-08 06:31am
auch no, i dont think you are in the
wrong, i don't think you are being
selfish. well, maybe in a way lol... but
it is not much to ask, is it? maybe he has
a weird matcho thing about it, maybe
that's why he wont do it. i dont know. but
if there are areas in your relationship
like this that are 'out of bounds' then
maybe you have to question if he's someone
you want to be with long term.
aye, like birch says, would you really
want to live the rest of your life never
again feeling a man's warm breath on your
thighs, his soft gentle lips and talented
tongue caressing you.....
lol you get the idea
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 1231
Posted: 01-19-08 17:26pm
You should try and get him to at least try
it, but if it's not his thing than it's
just not his thing. You wouldn't stand for
him trying to force you to do something
you're not comfortable with, right? So why
is it okay for you to do that to him?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-19-08 17:33pm
I'd stop giving him oral, fair and square.
Personally I'd break up, but I'm picky.
Seriously, I 100% would not give him oral
any more. You're right, it should be a
fair exchange. If he doesn't want to give
it, then he doesn't deserve to get it.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-19-08 17:34pm
Katrinadoodle
wrote:
You should try and get him
to at least try it, but if it's not his
thing than it's just not his thing. You
wouldn't stand for him trying to force you
to do something you're not comfortable
with, right? So why is it okay for you to
do that to
him?
Yeah, but if I wasn't willing to GIVE oral
I certainly wouldn't demand my partner DO
it to me!!
