i am 22 years old and a recent college graduate. I've always had this stupid saying I used as an excuse to go on huge drinking binges and I would always joke and say, "Go big or go home." So there would me multiple nights a week where i would drink anywhere from 10 to 20 drinks in a night, often to the point of me not remembering anything and having to find out from friends what exactly I did the night before and why i had ten bruises on my leg. I started drinking at age 14 and the older i got, the more and more i drank. I tried to quit in December and only lasted 9 days before caving in, it's easy to cave when you live with another alcoholic. The last past 5 days I've binged more than I have ever in my entire lifetime consuming at least 20 drinks each day, ranging from beers to wine to half bottles of gin and vodka. I realized yesterday I got drunk because I was so afraid to get a hangover so when I woke up this morning I've had the worst hangover of my life. I've been awake for almost 20 hours and I am still feeling the hangover BAD and have yet to stopped trembling from my face, body and hands, i was sweaty, im nauseated, was dry heaving most the day, i still cant fall a sleeping and feel incredibly guilty and I want to stop drinking. Ive never been so scared in my life. I know if i continue binge drinking like this I WILL DIE. I just am unsure if what im feeling is a really bad hangover or alcohol withdraw. I am going to my first AA meeting tomorrow and I just wanted to say I am so afraid.