Hey, I'm quite young - Teenage and for the past few weeks I've been thinking that I might have early symptoms of Schizophrenia.
I'm gonna post up some things that I've been feeling,
- Extremily paranoid - I could be the only one in a room and still feel like
Someone else is in there watching me.
Also my mind keeps saying to me that my family have cameras and are watching me all the time, In school, home etc
I dont feel that I have anything in common with my family at all, I think that I am not the same as my cousins and feel different all the time.
I cant really explain myself well with words and lately have found myself stumbling my words a bit.
I always see things that arent there like a cat etc
Once I saw a man that was alive and smiling hanging upside down on my house landing.
This will probobly sound crazy but I sort of talk to myself unknowing sometimes and then answer myself back
I have isolated myself in the last few years big time and even though I have real good friends in school I cant make friends as easily and dont hang out with them outside school.
I cant concentrate at all really, I am in switch off mode constantly.
I dont even hear what people say half the time, I just hear them talking and dont pay any attention even to my friends and family.
I've had dumb urges like having to make a noise in my throat or making my eyes look over something constantly or thinking something over and over again for no reason at all.
I have thoughts that I dont like to have but keep popping up even if I try to think of something different the thought is still there and stopping me and my mind from switching off.
I hate going to bed and on weekends stay up till 3 - 4am
I have trouble sometimes going to sleep due to thoughts not going away
I also dont feel comfortable or at ease or relaxed even around family who I have grown up with
If I read sometimes I have to re-read a line over and over again because otherwise the urge to do so will nag at my brain.
My mood changes in a split second and I find myself really snapping and flipping out, I cant make eye contact with someone I'm not close to as if I do I feel really tense and think that they are threatening me in some way
I also feel that someone can see what I feel, think, write and say all the time so i avoid writing,saying,thinking things.
These are just some of the things I go through daily
I'm seeing a doctor in 2 days about it and if there are any tips as to how to actually speak about this then please help with that and what do you think about all of this.
Thanks for the reply and it all went OK, I have to write some diary about what I see and things like that, my school is making things easier for me and I had a child therepist come to my home and talk with me and she seems to think its anxiety but I have ideas it could be schitzophrenia but who knows yet, I do have a appoinment with a therepist at the hospital so hopefully there will be some answeres then
So very glad to hear you are doing better. The journal you keep everyday will help you. Talking to your self and answering yourself is COOL. I do it all the time. My shrink...(and I've had several.)...who can't keep up with me( HA) told me as long as someone or something else was not talking to me or me talking to them/it....I was good! I don't understand the part of you seeing things that aren't really there. You aren't like smoking pot or snorting paint? Peyote buttons will do that too!@ Lil Dude, you have taken the first step admitting you want control back in your life. You are like me, you have too many cars up there in the head and not enough lanes..........The paranoid.........can't place that either...its not guilt about something? Hopefully you will find a therapy program and meds that can take hte edge off and help you to live a normal life again..............NORMAL...what is that? I just like living in the "ALMOST SANE" world! Please keep in touch!
Lol funny reading that - insane !!! lol
I got to see a doctor again on monday and then the therapist sometime the one that came to my home said it could be anxiety and with the talking to yourself thats kinda crazy aint it ? lol always do it
but lately more things have been happening as well like I'm beginning to believe that everything is a sign like the color of cars and what your eyes look at or are drawed to - It's weird but whatever lol and due to the paranoia stuff my school are allowing me to go in really late so I'm not in with crowds getting even more paranoid and do any of you ever write or say stuff and not even know what your saying or talking about your just saying a load of crap and you dont even realize until after you actually say it ? and the feelings of confusion and with the guilt yeah I have some things I'm not to proud of and I have NEVER told anyone about things I've done in the past and stuff its just like issues and even then like 3 years ago I always wanted to tell someone what I had done such as stole from family and things like that which is sort of like making me feel so guilty and I cant tell anyone cos they would be dissapointed and stuff, I guess I have some damn issues huh ? lol
I dont know whether to bring this up to the therepist but like 3 or something like that years ago I was down my nans and my cousin who is like 4 years younger than me was pissing me off and I turned suddenly on him with a knife - obviosuly nothing came off it cos I didnt do anything but I felt really cold blooded then like I didnt care I didnt really show much emotion about it just kept a cold hard face going I mean should I bring that up - I dont know why but since I was really young when I USED to enjoy going out if someone pissed me off I would grab a weapon from the house and try leaving with it getting stopped ALL the time, should I bring all this up and does any of it mean anything do you think, by the way yeah thanks for the reply guys
R-K-O.........YES....keep any and all appointments. Talking to yourself and answering yourself is ok. I told you this. As for not feeling emotions and feeling cold hearted....thats another reason I told you to talk ot yourDr and tell him you feel no sadness or ashamed or guilt and feel cold hearted. WHen I was on Effexor....I din't have any kids to drown.......and i would not have had I had them, but....I had the feelings you do now. I didn't let things get me down, I didn't cry or feel sad, or kinda have any feelings. I mean, I could make people laugh and laugh with them, but as far as getting my feeling hurt....didn't happen. NOW.....for this incidnet with your cousin and you getting pisseed off and grabbing a knife, or whatever else type weapon seems readily available.....DUDE, this AIN"T COOL......by all means, don't hold back when talking to your therapist. If he/she does not know whats going on inside your head, they can't begin ot help you. This is a chemical embalance thing in your head, and you are not responsible for it. I am very proud of you for getting the help you do need. So many people think hey are too good for a therapist and then go years torturing htemselves....their family and their friends.........WHy do you think you are paranoid? What do you think people are saying or thinking? HAve you given reason for anyone to think or say anything? And.............why do you give a rats behind what anyone says or thinks? You just said you had no sad/bad feelings......but oyu also said you felt guilty. PLEASE talk to your therapist and tell her you need to tell her these things that are making you feel guilty and paranoid..........ALways here if you need me! POOF!
I meant I felt no emotion back then when I done all that, I think it might be partly guilt as well though when you mention it, I had all this previous things on my mind about things so I told my parents and they didnt really mind because it wasnt that bad and it was wayy in my past but now everything is worse than ever with guilt for other and more worse things I have done which I cant tell my parents because it was really bad stuff and something new has came up,
I feel that every thing is a sign, I think that we arent what we think we are and our mind arent ours and they are something elses like fate only we are born to do one thing and thats it like we're all sent to do something.
I think our thoughts are put there by something else and then taken by something else, does this make any sense ?
I am sometimes to worried to think, talk or do something because its a sign of something.
Take this example me and my school friend were born on the same day, same hospital, then we lived in the same area and then our families were all moved to the same street right opposite eachother and we are really good friend since nursery, we have the same form everything and now I believe something has got to give in somewhere, you cant go through life having so much in common with someone and keep having things in commen more and more I mean something has got to break somewhere down the line and I believe that if anything did happen it would be meant to happen and it would of happened anyway.
I also feel that when I talk I dont even think of what I'm saying because I am already MEANT to say the words so my brain is blank but my mouth is saying the words it is supposed to.
I feel that everything is unfolding in front of me everyday, Like everything is meant to happen and as said before everything is a sign, thoughts, objects, things said etc
Should I mention this to the doctor in my next appointment
I've been told to do breathing exersizes to relax and take my mind off things sometimes but you cant just switch off, I used to be able to but it's getting harder, I feel as though I'm getting worse lately but is it natural to just change from worse to sorse in a few weeks or days.
With the way things are going does anyone know if this is the most extreme it will get or will it get worse, I mean what can doctors and therapists do about what you believe on - everything is a sign type of thing, I truly believe that and I dont think therepists can change that and does anyone here have any ideas on what it could be
That creaps me out because im the same way, as a few years back i was convinced that people were diseased and i couldnt breath "their air".. I even felt sick when someone would breathe on me. Lately ive been getting increasingly paranoid, but i have well reason to because my ex is still hanging around.. and seems to be getting close to someone.. in my house. I managed to get something on my back that the doctors said was a bacterial infection, and another on my thigh near my waistline that looks the same or close to ringworm. I personally found a lot of spiders recently popping up in the house and captured one it looks like a small tan spider about 1cm big that i found in my shower corner, it has a brown stripe down the middle, if i look closely into the light with it has what seems to be black "bands" around its legs but its to small to tell. This and everything else going on is making me more paranoid then ever and some creapy things have been going on in the house i moved into, to the point where i think its haunted.
sorry dont know how to use this sight that well. but im am so excited you posted this. i am also in my mid teens with a whole crap load of problemes, alot simalur to yours and ive had them for quite some time. there has been like a million diagnoses before i final tryed to stop going to the doctor and take things in my own hands. i know what your dealing with but you HAVE to tell yourself that the thoughts your having arent real, and dont let them take you down. it will make you feel so much better! you have to tell yourself the the color of the car dosnt mean anything plane and simple have confidence in yourself that you made the right decicion and move on. Remember YOU are the driver of the bus not your feelings, dont let them take controll. Think of your thoughts as little demons that are trying to controll your life, dont let them and confidently take controll. think of all the accomplishments youve had in your life and everyhting you believe and stand for. i want you to strive to be that person and let nothing get in the way, not even a stupid thought in your head who has no controll. And if you are feeling confused and "wierded out" in my words i want you to take the time you need but dont loose sight in who you are and what you stand for, i hope this information helped, get back to me:)
to RKO :this is a really old post, but I just found this site. I read through a bunch of posts that left me hopeless, but yours really caught me. I hate to say Im releived, but I really am. I also, dont want to encourage anything thats "bad" but I mean, how can you tell someone that beleives a certain reality that its not real? Thats the entire point? You just cant. Its beyond you. We're just humans living in this "world". Anything is possible. Thats why Its scary. Im sure you have found help by now, but I had to respond. I cant find anybody that makes me feel confident enough to speak out to a therapist. I feel completely alone. I can relate to what you listed above though. If youre still active on the site please let me know about any updates. thanks!
I googled things im going through in my head and feeling like someones always bhind me. But much more then that. Everything u put is a reflection of whats happening now to me. I hope theres a solutions to this. I cant take meds. Dont know what to do