extremely paranoid and rapid mood changes Posted: 01-12-08 21:23pm
Hey, I'm quite young - Teenage and for the
past few weeks I've been thinking that I
might have early symptoms of
Schizophrenia.
I'm gonna post up some things that I've
been feeling,
- Extremily paranoid - I could be the only
one in a room and still feel like
Someone
else is in there watching me.
Also my mind keeps saying to me that my
family have cameras and are watching me
all the time, In school, home etc
I dont feel that I have anything in common
with my family at all, I think that I am
not the same as my cousins and feel
different all the time.
I cant really explain myself well with
words and lately have found myself
stumbling my words a bit.
I always see things that arent there like
a cat etc
Once I saw a man that was alive and
smiling hanging upside down on my house
landing.
This will probobly sound crazy but I sort
of talk to myself unknowing sometimes and
then answer myself back
I have isolated myself in the last few
years big time and even though I have real
good friends in school I cant make friends
as easily and dont hang out with them
outside school.
I cant concentrate at all really, I am in
switch off mode constantly.
I dont even hear what people say half the
time, I just hear them talking and dont
pay any attention even to my friends and
family.
I've had dumb urges like having to make a
noise in my throat or making my eyes look
over something constantly or thinking
something over and over again for no
reason at all.
I have thoughts that I dont like to have
but keep popping up even if I try to think
of something different the thought is
still there and stopping me and my mind
from switching off.
I hate going to bed and on weekends stay
up till 3 - 4am
I have trouble sometimes going to sleep
due to thoughts not going away
I also dont feel comfortable or at ease or
relaxed even around family who I have
grown up with
If I read sometimes I have to re-read a
line over and over again because otherwise
the urge to do so will nag at my brain.
My mood changes in a split second and I
find myself really snapping and flipping
out, I cant make eye contact with someone
I'm not close to as if I do I feel really
tense and think that they are threatening
me in some way
I also feel that someone can see what I
feel, think, write and say all the time so
i avoid writing,saying,thinking things.
These are just some of the things I go
through daily
I'm seeing a doctor in 2 days about it and
if there are any tips as to how to
actually speak about this then please help
with that and what do you think about all
of this.
|
Galaxy
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Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
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Posted: 01-24-08 20:00pm
Your post was very interesting and I would
like to know how you got on at the doctor.
You seem to have some OCD in there and
several of your symptoms also suggest
pubescent paranoia.
Please post again.
|
R-K-O
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 5
REPLY Posted: 01-25-08 19:47pm
Thanks for the reply and it all went OK, I
have to write some diary about what I see
and things like that, my school is making
things easier for me and I had a child
therepist come to my home and talk with me
and she seems to think its anxiety but I
have ideas it could be schitzophrenia but
who knows yet, I do have a appoinment with
a therepist at the hospital so hopefully
there will be some answeres then
|
Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1492 Location: , Georgia USA
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Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother Posted: 01-25-08 20:35pm
So very glad to hear you are doing better.
The journal you keep everyday will help
you. Talking to your self and answering
yourself is COOL. I do it all the time. My
shrink...(and I've had several.)...who
can't keep up with me( HA) told me as long
as someone or something else was not
talking to me or me talking to
them/it....I was good! I don't understand
the part of you seeing things that aren't
really there. You aren't like smoking pot
or snorting paint? Peyote buttons will do
that too!@ Lil Dude, you have taken the
first step admitting you want control back
in your life. You are like me, you have
too many cars up there in the head and not
enough lanes..........The
paranoid.........can't place that
either...its not guilt about something?
Hopefully you will find a therapy program
and meds that can take hte edge off and
help you to live a normal life
again..............NORMAL...what is that?
I just like living in the "ALMOST SANE"
world! Please keep in touch!
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R-K-O
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 5
Another appointment Posted: 01-26-08 20:33pm
Lol funny reading that - insane !!! lol
I got to see a doctor again on monday and
then the therapist sometime the one that
came to my home said it could be anxiety
and with the talking to yourself thats
kinda crazy aint it ? lol always do it
but lately more things have been happening
as well like I'm beginning to believe that
everything is a sign like the color of
cars and what your eyes look at or are
drawed to - It's weird but whatever lol
and due to the paranoia stuff my school
are allowing me to go in really late so
I'm not in with crowds getting even more
paranoid and do any of you ever write or
say stuff and not even know what your
saying or talking about your just saying a
load of crap and you dont even realize
until after you actually say it ? and the
feelings of confusion and with the guilt
yeah I have some things I'm not to proud
of and I have NEVER told anyone about
things I've done in the past and stuff its
just like issues and even then like 3
years ago I always wanted to tell someone
what I had done such as stole from family
and things like that which is sort of like
making me feel so guilty and I cant tell
anyone cos they would be dissapointed and
stuff, I guess I have some damn issues huh
? lol
I dont know whether to bring this up to
the therepist but like 3 or something like
that years ago I was down my nans and my
cousin who is like 4 years younger than me
was pissing me off and I turned suddenly
on him with a knife - obviosuly nothing
came off it cos I didnt do anything but I
felt really cold blooded then like I didnt
care I didnt really show much emotion
about it just kept a cold hard face going
I mean should I bring that up - I dont
know why but since I was really young when
I USED to enjoy going out if someone
pissed me off I would grab a weapon from
the house and try leaving with it getting
stopped ALL the time, should I bring all
this up and does any of it mean anything
do you think, by the way yeah thanks for
the reply guys
Oh yeah and what is pubescent paranoia
|
Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
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Posted: 01-26-08 21:27pm
Definitely keep seeing your health
professionals, we can offer support but no
real diagnosis. Check everything with the
doc, they should be able to tell you.
|
Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1492 Location: , Georgia USA
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Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother Posted: 01-27-08 16:57pm
R-K-O.........YES....keep any and all
appointments. Talking to yourself and
answering yourself is ok. I told you this.
As for not feeling emotions and feeling
cold hearted....thats another reason I
told you to talk ot yourDr and tell him
you feel no sadness or ashamed or guilt
and feel cold hearted. WHen I was on
Effexor....I din't have any kids to
drown.......and i would not have had I had
them, but....I had the feelings you do
now. I didn't let things get me down, I
didn't cry or feel sad, or kinda have any
feelings. I mean, I could make people
laugh and laugh with them, but as far as
getting my feeling hurt....didn't happen.
NOW.....for this incidnet with your cousin
and you getting pisseed off and grabbing a
knife, or whatever else type weapon seems
readily available.....DUDE, this AIN"T
COOL......by all means, don't hold back
when talking to your therapist. If he/she
does not know whats going on inside your
head, they can't begin ot help you. This
is a chemical embalance thing in your
head, and you are not responsible for it.
I am very proud of you for getting the
help you do need. So many people think hey
are too good for a therapist and then go
years torturing htemselves....their family
and their friends.........WHy do you think
you are paranoid? What do you think people
are saying or thinking? HAve you given
reason for anyone to think or say
anything? And.............why do you give
a rats behind what anyone says or thinks?
You just said you had no sad/bad
feelings......but oyu also said you felt
guilty. PLEASE talk to your therapist and
tell her you need to tell her these things
that are making you feel guilty and
paranoid..........ALways here if you need
me! POOF!
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R-K-O
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 5
Posted: 02-01-08 07:02am
I meant I felt no emotion back then when I
done all that, I think it might be partly
guilt as well though when you mention it,
I had all this previous things on my mind
about things so I told my parents and they
didnt really mind because it wasnt that
bad and it was wayy in my past but now
everything is worse than ever with guilt
for other and more worse things I have
done which I cant tell my parents because
it was really bad stuff and something new
has came up,
I feel that every thing is a sign, I think
that we arent what we think we are and our
mind arent ours and they are something
elses like fate only we are born to do one
thing and thats it like we're all sent to
do something.
I think our thoughts are put there by
something else and then taken by something
else, does this make any sense ?
I am sometimes to worried to think, talk
or do something because its a sign of
something.
Take this example me and my school friend
were born on the same day, same hospital,
then we lived in the same area and then
our families were all moved to the same
street right opposite eachother and we are
really good friend since nursery, we have
the same form everything and now I believe
something has got to give in somewhere,
you cant go through life having so much in
common with someone and keep having things
in commen more and more I mean something
has got to break somewhere down the line
and I believe that if anything did happen
it would be meant to happen and it would
of happened anyway.
I also feel that when I talk I dont even
think of what I'm saying because I am
already MEANT to say the words so my brain
is blank but my mouth is saying the words
it is supposed to.
Does any of this make sense or mean
anything
|
Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
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Posted: 02-01-08 13:07pm
R-K-O
wrote:
I think our thoughts are put there by
something else and then taken by something
else, does this make any sense ?
That's a classic sign of schizophrenia.
Also before I was diagnosed I had the
feeling that everything is a sign.
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R-K-O
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 5
Sign Posted: 02-02-08 21:53pm
I feel that everything is unfolding in
front of me everyday, Like everything is
meant to happen and as said before
everything is a sign, thoughts, objects,
things said etc
Should I mention this to the doctor in my
next appointment
I've been told to do breathing exersizes
to relax and take my mind off things
sometimes but you cant just switch off, I
used to be able to but it's getting
harder, I feel as though I'm getting worse
lately but is it natural to just change
from worse to sorse in a few weeks or
days.
With the way things are going does anyone
know if this is the most extreme it will
get or will it get worse, I mean what can
doctors and therapists do about what you
believe on - everything is a sign type of
thing, I truly believe that and I dont
think therepists can change that and does
anyone here have any ideas on what it
could be
