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dennistina

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Joined: 12 Jan 2008
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feeling relapse Posted: 01-12-08 20:52pm


I am a recovering meth and pill addict or so I was in recovery I have not picked up the meth again but I have been playing around with pills and some drinking The pills started with a rx of vicoden I got from my dr for cramps and of course that set me off my dr quit giving them to me but I get them from a friend at work. Im only taking 1 a day and only have gone out to drink 2 times I know Im playing on very dangerous grounds. I was going to N/A but I got a full time job and quite going I know no excuse. Im starting to feel that old feeling again depressed, all alone, you know that whole cant live without drugs feeling I dont want to go back to that place anyone else going through the same thing?

young Girl

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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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Location: everythings better in, texas USA

Posted: 01-12-08 20:56pm


ive been there except with cocaine hardest shi* ive ever had to overcome was the strength to leave it behind and not ever pick it up again and im so glad i did

AngieS

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Posted: 02-20-08 09:28am

the_girlfriend wrote:

ive been there
except with cocaine
hardest shi* ive ever had to overcome was the strength to leave it behind and not ever pick it up again

and im so glad i did

I'm so there right now. I said i quit yet about once a week, its around me and i do a bump or two. not alot in comparison to what i've done in the past, but one is one too many.
did you quit on your own? did you get help?
just looking for a little advice, want this out of my life for good...

dennistina

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hello Posted: 02-21-08 15:58pm


I had to get help. I went to an out patient clinic when I first quit the meth I was pregnant and I could not quit no matter how I tried. Thank God for the help that is out there or my baby could have been really hurt by my drug use. I go to NA meetings and talk to my sponser at least 3 times a week. It really helps. If you are having a hard time quiting I could help you get into a outpatient clinic to help you or give you the number for NA so you can try going to meetings they really help. I hope this helped you it was nice to hear that im not the only one out there. Sence I wrote (im feeling that old feeling) things have been getting better Im not taking anything and im back on track. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you or if you just need to talk im here for you have a good day

AngieS

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Posted: 02-21-08 20:21pm


do out patient clinic cost money? I went to an aa meeting but didn't really do it... I want to go to an N.A. meeting but i guess sometimes we need someone to hold our hand, ya know?? not the most adult thing to say, but i'm sure you understand. i would love to talk to a someone, but i can't afford to get a counsler..... thank you so much for responding, i appreciate you taking the time, just feeling so confused. i love the good side of me so much, just this addict comes around and i just hate her. i live in Miami Beach, FL.... do you know a number i can call or something... thanks for your help!

AngieS

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Posted: 02-21-08 20:24pm


oh man, and i was so selfish just talking about me! something us addicts do... glad to hear things are feeling better for you, and your baby too. talk soon

dennistina

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Posted: 02-24-08 14:54pm


Dont worry about it but thank you hope you are doing better now sorry it too so long for me to write back work has been crazy. Did you find a rehab to go to? I can help you if you really want to go. I know how you feel about going to meetings by yourself I was lucky i had my husband with me but I do know that if you go you will meet someone you can talk to try different meetings and you will find the one you feel most at home with. Get phone numbers and use them you will be surprised how that works. Well I hope this helps let me know how you are dong ok?

Lotus Pod

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Joined: 02 Mar 2008
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Location: niles,

Posted: 03-13-08 20:09pm


yea, Im having the same problems right now.. So, your definetly NOT alone with those thoughts that seem to always come back.. Ive been hooked on pills for over five years now.. Im trying again, to quit.. but I cant seem to get the thoughts of using off of my mind... I dont know what to do either.. I hope that u pull through!

CarolDiane

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Posted: 03-14-08 00:48am


The temptation will always be there. The ball is in your corner. Try to devert you mind on something else. I think you should continue to go to NA meetings. Support groups are a very good help and there when you need them. Brings you back to reality of the drugs and the damage and addiction that goes along with them. I too am on Vicodin 10/660 for my back. But, since my back surgery, I am able to go down to 1/2 the dose. Will Power and think positive about a life being clean. ~Carrie~

lonestarguy

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Please listen Posted: 03-28-08 17:32pm


This post is directed to all of you trying to get off a pill addiction. I got off a serious drug dependency last year after four years of taking many powerful drugs for back pain. I began taking more and more exceeding the dosages and got less and less freedom from pain. I was taking vicodin, norco, morphine, demerol, etc. After a long time of taking the drugs, your body begins to hurt all over whenever you don't take them. I won't lie, it's not easy to get off drugs, but I'm living proof it can be done. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but now I realize that I can never go back to them because they are poison to my system. Please, look inside yourself and recognize that you are weak, and it will take a monumental effort to overcome your dependency. I hesitate to use the word addiction because many abusers take pills to relieve chronic pain and don't really take them for a high. I don't know any of you personally, but I know what you're facing and it's scary. Just remember, this is the only body you're going to have, so this could be the biggest decision you make in your life. The hardest part is making that commitment to go through a not-so-pleasant few months to get the rest of your life back.

Fairysue1974

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Scary Fairy Am I an Addict Posted: 03-28-08 19:59pm


I have been taking Oxycontin for over a year and half now, i thought i was managing quite well only taking them when i was in the very bad pain, but i went away for a few days with my hubby and did not have my meds with me and thats when i realised I think i am addicted to them I got so sick without them and ended up going to the nearest hospital i thought i was dying, i got a pain shot until was was able to reach home this was just after 2 days our journey was cut very short' there is a lot more to the story, but i feal so weak after reading what some of you are going through, I am ignorant when it comes to addiction to drugs but now i think i am, also as soon as i got back on the meds i was fine, but i hurt constantly, i dont want to take them but i dont know how to manage my pain, Doc never told me about any addiction, but now he tells me that i cant just stop taking them, if i knew what was in store for me i would never have started to take them, I have degenerating Disc Disease pain is horrific but now i dont know whats the pain is it the Oxy or is it the real pain, i am confused and scared, i plan to return to England in the next year and i dont know how im going to get off this drug, my family back in u.k are very supportive when it comes to my pain, but they have no idea what an Oxycontin pill is or the effects it now having over me oh my oh my

lonestarguy

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Posted: 03-28-08 20:20pm


Fairysue-- I forgot to mention above that oxycontin was one of the drugs I was taking for my degenerative disk disease and I tried to stop it and switch to hydrocodone because it was so addictive. In my opinion, you have all the symptoms I did when I was dependent on drugs, in that I couldn't go anywhere without my pills. When I woke up in the morning, I could barely get out of bed because my body hurt so much and I felt so sick until I took some pills. It begins to take over your life as you wonder whether you can get more pills to keep from feeling that pain. I don't believe many doctors tell you about the truly addicitive force these drugs have because most of them have never taken them for chronic pain themselves. You now know first-hand how much it hurts when you don't have your pills, so now you need to read my post above and decide whether you wish to live this way for the rest of your life. It's no picnic to go through the withdrawal and you will need the help of your husband to get you through it. But believe me, it's worth it to go back to other ways to conquer back pain than to keep killing yourself a pill at a time. Let me know if I can do anything else to help.

Fairysue1974

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Scary Fairy Posted: 03-28-08 21:12pm


Thanks lonestar so much for the reply Do you think it be a good idea to do a switch first i have in the past been rolling around in bed thinking its all to do with my back pain but now im sure its the oxy also after a year and half you can class yourself as addicted i thought i could just stop taking them, but what do you do to stop altogether 'do you do it slowly and suffer the hurt that comes with that' or do you just stop and suffer more hurt' and how long do it take, for that feeling to go away, when i got sick i saw the scared and hurt look in my hubbys eyes he dont know what to do to help me and as i mentioned family is in the u.k so i will be trying to do this alone i can honestly say now that how marriage has not beed the best since i started taking the meds, and when i said i thought i was going to die i told my hubby if i did not get to the hospital i would have been sucidal so i am worried about doing this alone hubby is not always around I can thank you enough for your answer but i am a very strong woman and i am sure i can do this' i take other meds to antidepressents and sleeping pills, should i try to get off them all and find other options ? Fairysue

CarolDiane

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Rick Posted: 03-28-08 22:01pm


I was just like you. My neuro put me on Oxy's at first for my 2 lumbar buldging disc's. Was on them for about 2 months untill I fell off a laddar at Christmas putting up lights inside the house and broke L1 and compressed into T12. He was going to refill my Oxy's but found out that FL Midiaid was taking the off their list so he then put me on the high dose of Hydrocodone 10/660 due to the break. He was going to put me on Morphine but, I said no thank-you! I just thank goodness I take less then has been perscribed and being a good girl. Some days I don't even need them since surgery went so well and I am without pain from the break now. But, the buldging dic's do give me fits almost every day. Just not enough to take a whole pill or a pill at all. Depends what I am doing that will aggrivate it. Carrie

lonestarguy

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Posted: 03-28-08 22:35pm


Fairysue-- Should you switch to another drug? That didn't really work for me. I just got dependent on another one but, my thinking at the time was not too clear. That pain you feel when you don't take the meds or when you wake up is your body crying out from every cell for the pill. I tried to wean myself off the stuff and a slow approach seemed logical, but it didn't work for me because it was too slow. So, in a moment of stunning stupidity, I tried to get off cold turkey by just quitting. What a mistake that was! I was hurting and sick and could not even get out of bed for an entire month. It started to get a little better where I could keep food down (I lost 35 pounds in two months) and my doctor suggested methadone to help me. By that time, I was over the worst part, but it took a full three months before the drugs were out of my system. My wife works but she was the reason I made it through everything because I'm basically a coward. I have had a lot of pain during my life, so that was not as difficult as the tireness and nausea I felt. I'm sorry your marriage is not as strong as it was, but I understand now how much my wife loved me after what I put her through. Believe me, you will be a different person when you are off the meds. If you need other help, try to explain your situation to a doctor you trust. I found that once I outed myself and told my doctor all I was dealing with, she had a plan to fight it. I was the one who deviated from her plan, so I would advise you to start slow and decrease your dosages. Show some patience, don't do what I did. My doctor also prescribed me two antidepressants, Cymbalta and Wellbutrin, along with Lyrica, a non-addictive nerve/pain reliever and all of those kept me sane. You already know the task ahead of you and you're smart enough to know it won't be easy. I'm encouraged that you've got the confidence in your own strength to do this. Please keep me informed about your progress and I'll be here if you need to talk. Just send me a private message.

marvin5

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to lonestar Posted: 03-29-08 18:07pm


have you read the post from fluffyarmpit? That kid is in bad shape but has not posted for a few weeks. Some of us are worried about him. He speaks of a method his dr. is prescribing which is the weaning off. I am thinking that is a bad idea based on how much he snorts. If you get a chance, read his lengthy post from march 11 or 12.

lonestarguy

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Carrie Crashes--News At 11
Posted: 03-29-08 19:19pm

MsCarrie wrote:

I was just like you. My neuro put me on Oxy's at first for my 2 lumbar buldging disc's. Was on them for about 2 months untill I fell off a laddar at Christmas putting up lights inside the house and broke L1 and compressed into T12. He was going to refill my Oxy's but found out that FL Midiaid was taking the off their list so he then put me on the high dose of Hydrocodone 10/660 due to the break. He was going to put me on Morphine but, I said no thank-you! I just thank goodness I take less then has been perscribed and being a good girl. Some days I don't even need them since surgery went so well and I am without pain from the break now. But, the buldging dic's do give me fits almost every day. Just not enough to take a whole pill or a pill at all. Depends what I am doing that will aggrivate it.

Carrie

Carrie,

I know life is no picnic after taking a fall like that. You are very wise to stick to one pill or less. As long as that works for you, I see no reason to change because you are treating your pain.

I freely admit that getting myself in trouble was entirely my fault and I paid the price. Now, I battle every day to escape the pain any way I can without the drugs. I'm glad you have found a way to fight your own battle.

Next time you decide you need to mount a ladder, please call me so I can come over and hold it for you! Haha

lonestarguy

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Re: to lonestar
Posted: 03-29-08 19:25pm

marvin5 wrote:

have you read the post from fluffyarmpit? That kid is in bad shape but has not posted for a few weeks. Some of us are worried about him. He speaks of a method his dr. is prescribing which is the weaning off. I am thinking that is a bad idea based on how much he snorts. If you get a chance, read his lengthy post from march 11 or 12.

Marvin,

What timing. I had just read the thread you were talking about and was just deciding what to write to fluffyarmpit when I saw your question. I'll go over and comment.

CarolDiane

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Re: Carrie Crashes--News At 11
Posted: 03-29-08 19:31pm

lonestarguy wrote:

MsCarrie wrote:

Your on Rick. But, I truly doubt I will be doing that again. Wink