Fearfull Memories And Stress Posted: 01-11-08 06:50am
I have heard from someone that never to
take bad memories from your school or
college.It could be true but i'm really
frustrated with some of the incidents in
the engineering college.
This incident is about my last year in
engg.college. i was given a choice to
choose a group for project out of 12
peoples.In these 12 there was 8 guys who
were comfortable,friendly with my thinking
and style of doing project.Here i betrayed
my good friend,he asked me to join his
side.And i betrayed even some more groups
and joined another group,where the guys
were underperformers.I thought i can lead
them & score some
marks,even if they were underperformers
& gangsters.This is the biggest
mistake i've done choosing these
guys.Instead of doing the project on own
they purchased it from some xyz company.
As these guys were jealous of my thinking
and they totally betrayed me to show the
project mentors that i'm the one who is
below performer in the project group.They
managed to tell my classmates that i'm not
performing in project and i'm
useless,dealing with project mentor to get
them down.At first nobody believed
them,but you know when you've bad days
even your shadow betrays you.Everyone then
started talking the way these guys put
forward.This rellay turned me down cause
they did all the wrong things,all that i
did is i didn't done anything against
them.I allowed them to do harm to me just
in hope that they will forget me & i
don't want any fight after the project is
over.
My worries increased for loosing grade in
final year.In meantime my good -friend(To
whom i betrayed earlier and joined another
group) realized this situation and planned
somthing to do things reverse,he asked me
to talk to mentor and explain the
situation.So i convienced
my project mentor about the situation,he
assured me that i'll not get much good
grades but not bad as well (No loss no
profit).Somehow my project members find
out about this conversation and they
started to threaten me.But I assured them
i'm not doing any harm to them in any
way.But they continued to do so.In whole
academic year i was living in fear,i
used to cry alone and getting angry on my
familly members.I was not coming with any
social contacts.And then suddenly the
project presentation came and everything
was over.
Now when i got my marks after exams,i some
how managed to get better grades than
these guys & i don't know how as i was
upset and studied just like i'm doing this
for last time in life.And as expected
these guys(project members) performed
below average.They took these things very
seriously and now they are taking revenge
on me indirectly using many
other techniques like using social
cirlces.Some of their friends who are in
contact with me just as classmate are
teasing me by saying that "Where is your
project group?","Hey do you know anything
about xxx guy in your project group?".They
are just trying to tease me & want to
create fear in me.This really upsets me
and irritates me.I want to forget
everything and want to live life like
new.I don't want to know about
them.Everyday i'm
just thinking about what happend last
year,this is not forgettable and still
turns me down even if some of my other
classmate meet me sometime.Their presence
enlightens some of the old incidents.Day
be day my confiedence is getting down as
i'm trying hard to get job in
IT company.This requiers me to concentrate
and to be confiedent but i unable to do
any good.
I really need something to get over it,How
can i get over it? I can't even stop
thinking about what happened in the past,i
even left the city where i used to
live.Now i don't want to live with the old
memories.
How can i forget all this,how can i start
life over.Is there any chance i get
crossed with some of my dark past
again.?What can i do to be fearless
against them?
How can i deal with some social leeches
which are teasing me with thier names?