I don't know when it started. but I've never been a day person. I love the night. But I used to be a whole lot better about going to bed...like around 11PM. but now since college extremities of homework and stress...I get scared of going to sleep because I feel like I have so much to do. The irony is...because of sleepiness..I don't get much done. But i am so unconsciously determined to keep myself up! it's frightening! its daylight at times when I fall asleep...I have to FORCE myself to fall asleep!

I know I have had issues with my mother (not seen her in 3 years) and all her "scary moments" were at like 3 in the morning.

and then I fell off the top bunk sleep walking and had to go to the hospital my first year in college...and slept walk a couple times before when I was on some medication (luckily off of it). So now I feel I have no control over my body when I sleep.

the singulary scary part is I just don't like waking up in the morning. the feeling of going..."it's another day..." just makes me go "ugh..."


so what is this? Post traumatic stress? or am I just wanting to push myself to the limits? or is this some kind of act of rebellion?

Oh..I'm also ADD. let's not forget that part!