Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
on xanes and welbutrin Posted: 01-10-08 20:02pm
xanex too. xanex and welbutrin.
i had a break down last night.
i didnt post it here but heres the story
basically:
insane
do you all know what it feels like to
watch your dad dieing? because i had to
watch that today and it didnt feel too
good.
you know what my dad looks like? a
manequin. a pale skinny manequin. he
doesnt even look alive. he looks dead,
tired and just...not happy
hes so tired of fighting. hes giving up.
he told me today he loves me but hes
dieing. and he doesnt care how he dies he
just wants it over with.
i had to walka way from him tonight.
because it hurt me to see him like that.
how do i say goodbye to my dad when
looking at him even makes me loose it? i
seriously had a mental break down.
i just dont know what to do.
my life is a huge fu^&ing mess. ive got a
daughter that i love so much but how the
HELL do i take care of her when i cant
even take care of myself?
ive got to get away from everything
because i cant do this. i cannot do this.
its too much. things keep getting thrown
at me and its killing me.
and now this. all of this. all of today
hit me right in my face.
im done
i cant do this
i try to keep a positive attitude but its
KINDOF hard when everything happens at
once
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 01-14-08 00:00am
Yes, I do know how it feel and I know this
won't make things better for you. I have
to look at my mom everytime I see her and
wonder if we well have her around for
another Bithday. She has end stage lung
cancer. Sometimes you wonder how your
going to make it through. I also have been
just shigh of a breakdown on several
occasions these past few weeks. Like
building a house, brick by brick getting
heavier and heavier to hold. My mother is
also on the path to death. And there is
nothing I can do about it. Only adding to
my depression and my lack of faith.
Carrie
Carrie
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-14-08 00:01am
carrie
you are such an unbelieveably strong
woman! these are hard times in life but
remember you will make it through. i know
how you feel and it kills me everyday to
think about my dad.
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 01-14-08 14:42pm
Hey honey.
You're a tough cookie, and you're handling
this incredibly well. I couldn't imagine
being in your shoes right now, so I'm
sending you my positive thoughts and huge
hugs.
