strong grief

On Nov. 27 2007 I lost, Gloria, friend/cousin(by marriage) of mine. Although I recently married into her family, I've known her since 1995 when she was 8 years old. then became best friend with 1 of her cousins 3 years later not knowing they were family. With all this in mind.. I'm not sure how to feel about loosing her.. It hurts like crazy and I find myself getting really angry and lashing out at my best friend & husband (her blood cousins). One particular family member questions if my feelings are real but I don't believe she realizes or knows how long I've known Gloria. Those things make me even more angry. I'm not sure what is right or wrong to feel and do with all this going on. Gloria died in a car crash very violently which doesn't make it any easier. That day several of us cousins drove past the seen not thinking it was fatal some not even realizing it was gloria. I keep replaying things in my head like that is gonna change the outcome of all this but it doesn't. I stopped going to church all together not that I've lost faith but it's just hard.. Is all this normal and how long will it last. The 1 thing that is great is that we still have her son to love and hold but looking into his eyes is like looking into hers. I sometimes wonder if i'm just imagining these feelings and thought or I've just lost my mind.....