so, I looked through that "Symptoms of
Bipolar" topic here, and got the following
results:
"What Are the Symptoms of Bipolar
Disorder?
Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood
swings from overly high and/or irritable
to sad and hopeless, and then back again,
often with periods of normal mood in
between. Severe changes in energy and
behavior go along with these changes in
mood. The periods of highs and lows are
called episodes of mania and depression.
Signs and symptoms of mania (or a manic
episode) include:
* Increased energy, activity, and
restlessness
* Excessively high, overly good, euphoric
mood
* Extreme irritability
* Racing thoughts and talking very fast,
jumping from one idea to another
* Distractibility, can't concentrate well
* Little sleep needed
* Unrealistic beliefs in ones abilities
and powers
* Poor judgment
* Spending sprees
* A lasting period of behavior that is
different from usual
* Increased sexual drive
* Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine,
alcohol, and sleeping medications
* Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive
behavior
* Denial that anything is wrong
-increased energy, activity, and
restlessness
-excessively high, overly good mood
(atleast she used to. I havn't seen that
side of her since we broke up, though)
-distractibility/can't concentrate well.
-little sleep neeeded
-unrealistic beliefs in ones abilities and
powers
-POOR JUDGEMENT
-increased sex drive
-provocative, intrusive, or AGGRESIVE
BEHAVIOR(!)
-DENIAL THAT ANYTHING IS WRONG........ or
that it's her fault at all, is how she
sees it. It's completely my fault, and I
am nothing but an ignorant problem who
does nothing but make her life terrible.
It's scaring me to say that, but I think
that that is about how she sees me at the
present time. She dismisses my
explanations for why I did something that
made her flip out at me as "petty,
childish and inconsiderate".
she's mad that I told one of our mutual
friends the details about our breakup
before she told anybody. Apparently she
hasn't even told most of her friends we've
broken up, and it's been a good few weeks
now since we did. She says "he's MY
friend!" and so forth and "where do you
get off talking to MY friends about that"
and such, even though it wasn't a plural
"friends", it was just the one...
We broke up, after dating for 11 months,
basically because I couldn't deal with her
problems efficiently, and neither of us
were happy. Usually, I'm great at figuring
things like this out, and I'm probably the
most stable person there is, I don't
fluctuate moods at all. I have them, of
course. I'm a very, very, very sensitive
person. But ever since she was diagnosed
with Bipolar, things havn't been the
same.
I don't know how to talk to her without
making her freak out at me. Currently,
after we've broken up (on our 11 month
anniversary, too (Yes, in highschool you
celebrate "months"
)! On one hand, she
forgot it was our anniversary when she
broke up with me, but on the other, she
forgot our anniversary in the first place,
so I don't know how to feel about that
one!
),
she won't even talk to me.
Since we've broken up, she's gotten mad at
me! I never would have thought that to
happen, especially since when we actually
broke up she was apologising and crying
and saying "thank you" for being so
supportive and everything. But when I went
to her house to drop off clothes and
things from my house that she'd left, she
freaked out at me because I didn't call
ahead. She also, like I said above, got
VERY mad, to the point where she won't
talk to me now, when I was talking to our
mutual gay friend who she seems to think I
hardly know about this all.
February 1st would have been our one year
anniversary. I want to get her back on
that day, if I can settle her down and
gain her trust again before then, that is.
I think it would be very symbolic and
beautiful to do it then. I have a whole
idea going in my head about how I'm going
to recreate exactly what it was like the
day I first asked her "if we were dating"
(long story!
),
so hopefully that might get through to her
that I really care and such.
But... How do I do it?
How do I do all of this? What do I do to
get her to A) talk to me again, first of
all! B) trust me again, and how do I go
about talking to her in the future? I'm a
VERY painfully honest person, so I've
always struggled with trying to "talk" to
people differently than how I feel I
should, you know? What I feel I should
hasn't worked the last few months, and
that is why we broke up! I am willing to
do this to get her back.
If I can't date her, I atleast want to be
her friend again. She has lots of other
problems from her childhood as well, but
I've always been able to handle those.
This Bipolarness is what has ripped us
apart. She gets angry at EVERYTHING! I
don't know how to handle this all! I want
to be there for her, but she still goes
crazy. She claims she "isn't mad" or
"wasn't mad" or something similar, but
that's totally untrue. Or if it is, I
would be scared for my life to see her
"mad"!
She was going to the hospital a while ago
and I promised I'd go and wait in the
lobby for her (it was a loonnnng session,
too!). Sadly, I got very ill around that
time. I was spitting out blood and yellow
stuff (which I found out means
"infection")m and my mother forbid me from
going to the hospital that day. I phoned
her mother, who works at a clinic, and she
also told me that I really shouldn't go.
Because of all the people with the
weakened imune systems and such. Needless
to say, she got mad at me over this and
started calling me unreliable and all
this, even though I was still going to go,
against my own mother's wishes, until her
mum told me to stay home. I tried, and I
always try for her, but nothing is ever
good enough. What do I do?
I know that all of this is a lot to deal
with, and that I have probably dozens of
questions thrown around in this long post,
but I really need help. I rarely do need
advice, I'm usually the one to give it,
actually, but I am not scared to ask when
I need help.
Peace and Love,
-Peter.
And thank you all for your support (once I
get some, that is
)! I honestly can
not do this without you. Thank you all.
EDIT: Oh yeah, I just thought of
something, too. Perhaps a smart way of
answering me would be to quote directly
what I said, so that I know exactly to
which part of my post you are referring
to. Thanks!
