I reconnected with a guy i knew when i was in high school, like 12 or so years ago....and the connection between us after meeting online and then in person is incredible.
We kissed the first night we met, and we havent been able to stop since.
The thing with me is that i am usually a shy person when it comes to a new guy in my life...and i have NEVER kissed a guy after one date, but when i am with him, i am calm....and we are happy when we are around each other.
basically, what i am trying to find out, or get advice on...is....is it too soon for us to sleep together? Friday would be five days that we have known each other since reconnecting. And i know he wants to and i know i want to, but i dont want to run the risk of getting all hot and heavy so soon and burning out quickly.
if your are comfortable sleeping with him this soon then go for it. as long as you are both responsible adults, why not?! me personally i don't think i could do it that soon. i remember when i forst got together with my boyfriend i'm seeing now, how good the connection was and i was surprised how easy and natural it was to go back to his place and the prospect of sex with him. until we actually got into bed. i was petrified lol and i had to ask rather embarrassedly if it was ok if we waited. i thought it would be that easy to go from one guy's bed to another but i discovered it's just not in my character. for various reasons we ended up waiting about 6 months before sleeping together and it's certainly done our relationship no harm.
i guess it just depends what kind of person you are and how confident you are. i know you are scared of moving too fast, but i suppose if the relationship is at risk of burning out fast then it was never meant to be. if you think it's too soon for sex then maybe you can just spend more time together, share a bed, do sexy things but without the sex itself. i don't really think there are any rules to matters like this. do what feels natural to you.
neither have we lol, i only meant it in the sense i had only just got out of a long term relationship when i started seeing him. i've only had 2 sexual partners, and i am his first.
well ok, i mean if you have to come on an online forum to ask whether it is too soon or not then it probably is! when you are truly ready you will know it. i guess waiting will keep the suspense going, and a lot of women would prefer to wait so they are able to feel more confident that the guy they are with is with them because of who they are - not simply because they want sex.
I agree with fiona. If it feels naturally right then go for it, but don't get your heart too set on anything. Five days is kind of fast to have sex and expect a man's heart along with it, especially since you haven't talked to him in years and don't know what he may truly be like behind the picture he paints of who he is (not saying that he is bad of course! there are just a lot of layers to people after you get to know them).
Just make sure to wear a condom to protect yourself form STDs and pregnancy. Have fun and good luck
thanks for the advice guys.....we havent had sex, but we have done other things when together. I do plan on asking him to let us slow that aspect of us down for a while, just so we can develop other areas of our relationship....become friends and so on first. I dont want our relationship to be all about the intense physical attraction we have for each other...i mean its great....but i think for us to last longer than a couple months, we should do it this way.
hi all, this is just to update you on whats been going on....the guy and i are still together, and very very happy. We did the deed but only when i felt ready, and its been heaven with him.....i actually think im falling in love, which is something i havent felt since i was like 16 or 17