I reconnected with a guy i knew when i was
in high school, like 12 or so years
ago....and the connection between us after
meeting online and then in person is
incredible.
We kissed the first night we met, and we
havent been able to stop since.
The thing with me is that i am usually a
shy person when it comes to a new guy in
my life...and i have NEVER kissed a guy
after one date, but when i am with him, i
am calm....and we are happy when we are
around each other.
basically, what i am trying to find out,
or get advice on...is....is it too soon
for us to sleep together? Friday would be
five days that we have known each other
since reconnecting. And i know he wants to
and i know i want to, but i dont want to
run the risk of getting all hot and heavy
so soon and burning out quickly.
Can anyone advise me on this????
|
fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-10-08 10:52am
if your are comfortable sleeping with him
this soon then go for it. as long as you
are both responsible adults, why not?! me
personally i don't think i could do it
that soon. i remember when i forst got
together with my boyfriend i'm seeing now,
how good the connection was and i was
surprised how easy and natural it was to
go back to his place and the prospect of
sex with him. until we actually got into
bed. i was petrified lol and i had to ask
rather embarrassedly if it was ok if we
waited. i thought it would be that easy to
go from one guy's bed to another but i
discovered it's just not in my character.
for various reasons we ended up waiting
about 6 months before sleeping together
and it's certainly done our relationship
no harm.
i guess it just depends what kind of
person you are and how confident you are.
i know you are scared of moving too fast,
but i suppose if the relationship is at
risk of burning out fast then it was never
meant to be. if you think it's too soon
for sex then maybe you can just spend more
time together, share a bed, do sexy things
but without the sex itself. i don't
really think there are any rules to
matters like this. do what feels natural
to you.
|
Kryssja
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 56
Posted: 01-10-08 10:58am
Thank you fiona05....i really appreciate
your response.
Thing is that both of us arent jumping
from one bed to another, he's been single
for some years, as have i....
i do think that we should spend some more
time together b4 we go all the way....we
have already gotten to the sexy stuff, and
we are both extremely comfortable....
but i want us to get to know each other
more. thanks again.
|
fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-10-08 11:29am
neither have we lol, i only meant it in
the sense i had only just got out of a
long term relationship when i started
seeing him. i've only had 2 sexual
partners, and i am his first.
well ok, i mean if you have to come on an
online forum to ask whether it is too soon
or not then it probably is! when you are
truly ready you will know it. i guess
waiting will keep the suspense going, and
a lot of women would prefer to wait so
they are able to feel more confident that
the guy they are with is with them because
of who they are - not simply because they
want sex.
|
PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1223 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 30
Thanked:8
Posted: 01-12-08 18:19pm
I agree with fiona. If it feels naturally
right then go for it, but don't get your
heart too set on anything. Five days is
kind of fast to have sex and expect a
man's heart along with it, especially
since you haven't talked to him in years
and don't know what he may truly be like
behind the picture he paints of who he is
(not saying that he is bad of course!
there are just a lot of layers to people
after you get to know them).
Just make sure to wear a condom to protect
yourself form STDs and pregnancy. Have
fun and good luck
|
Kryssja
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 56
Posted: 01-16-08 15:24pm
thanks for the advice guys.....we havent
had sex, but we have done other things
when together. I do plan on asking him to
let us slow that aspect of us down for a
while, just so we can develop other areas
of our relationship....become friends and
so on first. I dont want our relationship
to be all about the intense physical
attraction we have for each other...i mean
its great....but i think for us to last
longer than a couple months, we should do
it this way.
|
Kryssja
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 56
Posted: 01-28-08 19:03pm
Just updating you guys to let u know we
still havent done it yet...and he's not
pressuring me....i mean he'll tell me he
cant wait (as in he's excited), but he
respects my decision...
|
Kryssja
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 56
update Posted: 03-16-08 22:17pm
hi all, this is just to update you on
whats been going on....the guy and i are
still together, and very very happy. We
did the deed but only when i
felt ready, and its been heaven with
him.....i actually think im falling in
love, which is something i havent felt
since i was like 16 or 17
|
PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1223 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 30
Thanked:8
Posted: 03-17-08 07:26am
Congrats! Thats great you were able to
wait until you felt ready. It makes it so
much more special.