It's happened every now and then since
like 7th grade (my parents got a divorce
then,). I'm now 20 and it still happens on
occasion. I never told anyone about it
until the other night, though. I was
sitting with my girlfriend and my mother,
eating dinner. I saw the steak knife
beside my plate and I just had these
terrible thoughts. I could kill them and
they wouldn't expect it and stuff like
that. It disturbed me so deeply that I had
to put the knife away.
I finally told them the next day because
it was all I could think about. It scared
me so bad. She was really understanding
(both of them, thank God) and we talked
about seeing a doctor. It might have
something to do with with my ADHD she
said.
The problem now is, since I confronted
the issue, it's like I won't stop having
these horrible thoughts. It's not not
going away like it used to unless I'm just
with some buddies. If I'm by myself or
with the people I love, including my gf's
cat (which I love), I keep having these
terrible thoguhts and visions. I have a
very vivid imagination that's really
working against me on this. It's tearing
me apart. I did a search online and it led
me here. I didn't know this was something
classified under depression, but I just
wanted to get some feedback.
I'm a good guy. I would never do these
things. I just want to get back to normal.
thaks.
|
homerx
Supporter
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3239 Location: , USA
Thanks: 371
Thanked:1126
Posted: 01-09-08 18:22pm
Man Oh Man, can I relate. I think about
the same type of things...especially
killing my mother...i do think it is kind
of normal to an extent. I have talked to
other people and almost every one has
these thoughts from time to time. I really
seem to focus on her when I am standing in
the shower and I wonder if she didn't
molest me when I was a kid..she is a
pervert. But I know I would never hurt
anyone...its just like a fantasy or
something weird like that. I am not
violent and have never done anything like
starting fights or anything like that
so...who knows. Hope you get an answer and
maybe it will help me too. Good luck.
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harryheck
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2008 Posts: 2 Location: pomona, ca usa
to whom it may concern Posted: 01-27-08 01:01am
yeah the human mind is a mystery! but for
me just buying a punching bag and beating
the living crap out of it helps me sleep
at night! ive been leaving with this
battle of goodguy or villian, and ive been
the good guy all my life and my thoughts
are leaving out the villian! but hold on
to your soul make it one with yourself and
just vent from time to time and you'll be
good! hey if you really feel violent check
out a punk show and take a beating in the
mosh pit, pain is fear releaseing it self
from your body! enjoi
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Rainy_Daze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 5 Location: ,
Posted: 01-27-08 11:27am
I have a similar problem. Violent or sad
images will infiltrate my thoughts without
warning. Sometimes I’m the one doing
the damage and other times the damage
comes from an unknown source.
Someone once told me this was caused by
obsessive compulsive disorder, and that
makes sense. These thoughts are
compulsive and I do obsess on them, making
them worse. The good thing is that these
images are disturbing to me. It would be
more concerning if these images provoked a
positive response in me.
I’m not sure the best way to get rid of
these thoughts. The best advice I can
offer is to stop the thought the moment it
pops into your head. Then replace it with
something neutral or positive. Hopefully,
if you continue to do this, these thoughts
will become less frequent.
|
ldgcat5
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Posts: 30 Location: tampa, FL
Posted: 02-15-08 19:20pm
I know exactly how you feel! I mean I love
life and people and everything, but I
think about hurting all the time. I don't
understand these thoughts. I have never
talked to anyone about it, but I'm on the
verge of telling my therapist.
