what you are experiencing is absolutely normal. with medication and time those behaviors can and should improve. the meds don't heal you or make your ups and downs completely go away but it's better than the alternative. i'm telling you this because, for me and my husband, we had to accept this fact, too. it's better to know what you are dealing with and be able to anticipate a low or a high while medicated. if you don't expect the low or high then it can be devastating if you thought it went away. they just become way way way less of a problem.

i'm glad to hear that he is supportive.

yes this is normal for a lot people even ones that dont have BP. You made a huge step by telling your boyfriend. I am very proud of you I know that must have been very hard.

I too have these feelings constantly. I am always in a battle with myself. I am going to see a therapist on Friday because I have just given up. I cannot go through these things anymore. I am hurting myself and all of my relationships. So i need help.

Maybe thats what you should do? You need to talk to someone. Maybe even medication to stabilize your moods. I highly recommend you see a professional. I dont mean to sound harsh or indicate anything nad about you. All I know is how I have felt and what I need to do. Maybe it could work for you too

i have my first appt on Monday at 130 with a phys. im taking my seroquel and just started back on my xanax.. becasue my head still races during the day.. the seroquel makes me sleep well and lets my head rest.. but during the day it is hard.. i have to try extra hard to focus and not be aggitated easy..
i also found a support group in my area that me and my boyfriend are going to go to..
i to have found that i have it rock bottom with all the relationships.. i dont want this disorder to run my life, i want to have control and not let it control me..
thanks for the support..

i know what you mean about bp running your life and hitting rock bottom with relationships... it doesn't have to run your life.

At least you girls have relationships. I haven't had a girlfriend in years and I have pushed away all of my friends or they disregarded me because of the stupid way I used to act. *sigh*, I too have an appointment with the therapist Monday. I did find that if I'm occupied physically I can focus more so try to exercise even 30 minutes a day, get your heart racing.

I think regular exercise and being in nature helps tremendously to deal with agitation and irritability. And clonopin too.

As for the fairy tale life -- I channel mine by having lawn ornaments and rearranging them from time to time. Try to channel your imagination. There are some good things about being bipolar.

And congratulations on having a bf. I wish I had one.

well my boyfriend and i have broken up. long story short.. he is a coward.. he called my ex-husband and wanted to confirm me having BP.. that was it for me.. either you support me, or you dont. so now im moving out and this is the best thing for me.. im going to get myself better, which is working. plus i need to focus on being a good mom.. and a better me..