I can not take my mother anymore. I'm sick of her b*tching at me over every little thing, of constantly putting down how I'm raising Jay, of not giving a sh*t about anyone but herself. I'm fed up with her acting like I sit on my ass all day because the house doesn't get spotlessly cleaned every day. She always seems to "forget" that I have a kid to take care of and I'M IN SCHOOL. Jayden is up most of the night, either she has a tummyache, she's colicy, or she's just.. up. Alert. Not fussing, just awake. And I can't sleep unless she is... so we sleep during the day. Between feeding and bathing and changing Jay, my school work, and the chores that are at the top of MY list of priorities (keeping mine and Jayden's room clean, washing her dirty washcloths, washing her clothes) I'm lucky if my mom's chores, like scrubbing the kitchen and picking up the downstairs, get done. And I'm sick of getting treated like a lazy slave all the time.
On top of that, I'm just emotional all the damn time. I cry over everything, and now it's even worse because when I think about Erica the tears start falling again. Just typing up that sentence started me sobbing. And my mom doesn't give a flying f*ck. When she asked why I was crying this morning, I told her a friend I'd known since I was 8 died, her response was "Oh... *pause* Don't forget to do the dishes today."
What the hell.
But my problem is... should I move out? If I move in with Jacob, I'm going to lose my job. And it's a GREAT job. I make $13 an hour, plus commissions for any appliances I sell. Jacob lives two hours away, and I can't drive (no license). He lives in a tiny town, pretty much all it has going for it job wise (that I could get) would be Pizza Hut. Jacob already drives to another city an hour away from his house to work, and I couldn't get a job there. Plus my work has a child care center, so Jayden would be close by me all the time. I've even talked to my boss about switching from meal preparation to working in the child care, so I'd be taking care of Jayden and getting paid for it
So... I don't know.
Moving out would set us back quiet a bit financially, we'd have to rely on our parents a LOT more than we do now. But on the other hand, I honestly feel like I'm going crazy here. I don't think that the constant yelling's having an effect on Jay, she's a happy little baby... so maybe it's best for her if I stay here.
You should wait. Moving out isn't only about MONEY. Moving out is about a lot of emotional stress. You think you are stressed now? It gets worse. And all the other chores you are talking about not getting to (your mom's stuff), you would be REQUIRED to do that because there would be no one else.
Stay at home where life is cheaper as long as you can. Sit down and talk to your mom about what is expected and how you are feeling about this. FYI: do not do this when either of you is angry!! It will only turn into a yelling match!
i have to agree with ingi
in the mean time you may want to talk to your dr asap about the crying and stuff.
i know you FEEL like your going crazy. your stressed. this is a hard job. and you need more help
why doesnt jacob come move in with you? he seriously needs to be there to help with chorse and the baby so its not all on you.
this is a tough one
maybe just try and save some money for a while? didnt you say he was helping pay for medical bills? maybe the money you are putting towards that you could just save for a while. med bills are important but you have to prioritze. if you seriously feel like you cant be there much longer then you need to save that money so you can move out in the near future. then maybe get a job near jacobs work if you do move with him. that way you can all go to work together. in the mean time are you on wic? if not get on it
you qualify for it and it will help alot too
I've already tried WIC, I don't qualify, Jacob, my mom, and I all make way too much money.
We got on AHCCCS for medical insurance for Jayden, they take the money out of Jacobs pay check to pay the bills. I don't actually see any of his money. And the money that he gets to keep go to paying his family's bills.
I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up and stay here. My mom is more financially stable than Jacob's is... if I moved in with them Jayden would still be provided for, but things would be tougher, especially if I wasn't working.
silly question but has he always lived so far away?
Why is he helping his family pays bills? hes got his own small family now and need to be saving the money to get a car so he can drive himself to a job. I think you both need to save all the money you can and not spend it on anything you dont absolutely need. One day if yall intend to live together one of you will have to quit your job and find a new one so you will need a nice saving to do so. Also I understand you have a lot going on but if you were living on your own youd have to do all the house chores + take care of Jay n go to school. Its not just your house so you shouldnt be the only one doing it but dishes take all of five minutes and then maybe your mom would back down a little
No, he used to live in Flagstaff, which is about 4 hours away. Then he moved down the street from me at his dads house, but his dad is an abusive !**@! so Jacob moved in with his mom. He helps out with the families bills because his mom is really bad with money and usually ends up short at the end of the month, even though she makes more than he does.
I do save money, I have a nice chunk saved in the bank. I'd rather keep that in case my step-dad pulls out of paying for half my college tuition though. After my step-dad gives the money to me, I could use it as a cushion, but right now school is more important because I can't garuntee I won't be paying for all of it.
and "all of 5 minutes"?
Yeah, you need to see this kitchen. We have 6 other people living at my house, who don't know what it means to "clean up". Both sides of the sink and the counters around it are piled up with dishes. It takes me nearly an hour to get the dishwasher loaded and everything else washed. Longer, if I'm trying to do it while the washer is running because our hot water heater is crap.
i understand he wants to help with hsi moms bills but.
hes got his OWN family now. shee needs to learn how to manage her own money. thats extremely wring of her to even take money from him when she KNOWS he has a kid that he should be providing for. his mom needs to step up and stop it.
oh and i have some good advice for the dishes thing
maybe go buy a TON of paper plates and those plastic cups. write your name on a cup and have everyone else do the same thing and then you ONLY use one cup a day for all of your drinks and if everyone has thier name on it they wont get mixed up. then all you would have to wash is spoons and forks but even then you can but the plastic kind!
I can't win with my mom. Today I put off all my schoolwork and cleaned... I got the kitchen scrubbed, the bathroom cleaned, all the piled up laundry washed and folded, and the entire house vacuumed... and my mom came home and got pissy because I didn't mop.