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Can't Do It Anymore.

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arcadia Extremely eHealthy
January 7th, 2008
Hey guys.

I just wanted to apologive for not being around much.
Things have been extremely hard for me lately.
I don't really want to talk about it.

& Contrary to popular belief, I am not
drinking too much or turning to substance abuse.

I'm so extremely depressed.
I don't want to eat, I don't want to get up
in the morning, yet I don't want to sleep.
I can't concentrate on anything at all.
I don't want to do anything at all.
I've been holding it together for Gabe,
because I love him so much more than anything.
But even staying strong for him is so hard, now.
I just keep thinking about how I don't want to live, anymore.

My anxiety is through the roof.
I literally have bitten a hole in my lip.
& Keep biting & biting at it.
I'm in a constant state of paranoia.

It's just gotten really out of hand.

But, I'm getting help.
I've been putting off doing this for years.
But I've made an appointment.
Hopefully soon I can feel & act like myself again.
Something I haven't been able to do since
I was probably... about 13.

I just wanted to say I love you guys.
Thanks for always being here for me.
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O0o0h_baby
replied January 7th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know exactly how this feels, I am this way myself if I don't take my medication for depression. See the Dr. and get help, it can be so much better.

~ Misty
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AyaMiyaki
replied January 7th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Krissy Sad

I'm so glad you're getting help. You've been through a lot, and there's only so much a person can handle on their own. Gabe is lucky to have such a strong mother, but he needs a mother who's OKAY, not one who's falling apart trying to be a rock for him. It's such a great thing that you're turning to professionals.

You know we're here for you. You'll be okay, hon.
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Eyes Wide Shut
replied January 7th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
OH man Krissy!!!

Hopefully the person you see is helpful to you!!!

I miss you so much!!!

Kiss Gabe for me & Oni & the baby in the belly!!

Sarah
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arcadia
replied January 7th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Thanks, Laura.
It was really hard for me to type this & hit submit.
I have a real problem with admitting that I truly need help.
But I'm going to get it, finally.
I've been pretending to be okay.
But I'm not.
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arcadia
replied January 7th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
& Thank you, Sarah. I'll give him a kiss.
Give Oni a snuggle & pat your bebe belly for meh.
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HcoBrunette06
replied January 7th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Kristina, I love you so much. You're one of my BEST friends and I think you're the most amazing, strong, caring person/mother in the world. No matter what you do, I'm here for you! I'm glad you're getting help, itll make you feel like a better mommy & you need to feel like the great person that you are.

I love you babe!
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arcadia
replied January 7th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Thank you, Terra. I love you so very much.
You always know how to make me smile.
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tinkinpink84
replied January 7th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Aww im so sorry your going through this, ive been there done that, i was miserable for a long time, and it wasnt until i got help for my eating disorder that i got help for my depresion as well. and it all really helps, talking and medication if you need it. SOo glad u were able to ype this out and hit submit! We are al here for you, u can always pm me or message me on myspace if u ever need to talk, ive sorta been ther done that and i prob wouldnt be here today if it werent for my kids. You just gota stay strong for gabe nd get he help you need and deserve :hugs::
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moldedbymercy88
replied January 7th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
I'm so sorry you going through this. My prayers are with you. I'm glad you are seeking help. I hope you find the right person to help you. You deserve to be happy, and I honestly believe you will be soon. Until then, we will all help you through this. luvcomp
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young Girl
replied January 7th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
hey krissy! seriously youre amazeing Very Happy dont ever forget that ok
youve got talent
your beatuiful
you have a wonderful son

i know its hard to actually take the step to get help. but after you start to feel better you will be glad you did. listen to your doctor and try to get as much support as you can from family and friends. we sure do all support you 100% whatever may happen. even though you dont want to do things sometimes you have to. because its the right thing to do
Very Happy im proud of you
and you know im here ANYTIME
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Sandbox Party
replied January 7th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Krissy.. theres nothing i can say that the other girls havent.

I'm beyond proud of you for holding it together for Gabe, but girl start holding it together for yourself.. you are totally worth it!

The next few weeks are gunna be hard but they WILL get better i PROMISE.

and you know im like, an hour and a half away.. just call me and we'll do lunch, play date... girls day out. ^_^

I luff you Krissy-poop.
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-Tanya-
replied January 7th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Krissy we all love you. You have a hard life so feeling like this isn't unexpected. I'm sorry things aren't how you would like them to be, and I'm really really proud of you for getting help.

You can always always talk to us. Love you pal!
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Zanny
replied January 7th, 2008
Supporter
Oh Krissy I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I love you & we'll always be here for you whenever you need to talk.

Good on you for getting help.. Gabe needs his mummy to be happy & healthy! I'm proud of you for taking such a big step towards feeling better =)

Big hugs hun <3
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arcadia
replied January 7th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Thank you guys so much, seriously.
All your words have made me feel a lot better.

& Sandy, all I can do for now is do it for Gabe..
Because I really don't feel like I'm worth anything.
That's one reason I've gotta get help.
It'll be disasterous if I continue like this.
I feel like I deserve any horrible thing to happen to me.
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yellow ribbon
replied January 7th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Krissy i hope you can get the help you need to be as happy as you deserve! i dont doubt youve been having a hard time cuz from just the small stuff youve told us theres enough to break a person. bug hugs to you sweetie!
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jessesgirl
replied January 7th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I hope you get the help you need.
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kaerbear
replied January 7th, 2008
Most Diplomatic Poster
it takes wisdom to realise when you need help and courage to seek it out. i hope you find what you need and feel better soon.
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Becky
replied January 8th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
I don't really know what to say Krissy. I can only say that I know what it feels like to be down. I am suffering from it myself.

Hopefully things will look up for you soon. Thinking of you hun

~~HUGS~~
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rosejackson
replied January 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
i'm so sorry you're going through this. i hope you can get the help you need to be yourself again
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Stages of Labor
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