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AMomOf3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 37
Location: San Diego, CA USA
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:21am
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It sounds like most of these posts are
saying to get married. And 1 reason is the
money. You say you love ths guy and he's
willing to take care of you and a baby
that isn't his...that's one heck of a guy.
But, if you both love each other as much
as you say, wait until you're 18. How
long have you known him? People change
over time, and if you both still feel the
same when you're of LEGAL age to marry
without consent of your parent, THEN go
for it. Don't rush into marriage. It's
easy to get married, and hard and
expensive to get out of.
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:30am
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well, I've known him about a year, and
we've been together for a few months (as I
was dating my ex when we met). As for
waiting until I don't need consent it
seems like in Michigan that can be done at
17. I would only have to wait 5 months. He
is a great guy and we do love each other
more than anything. I don't want to rush
into anything. I've seen how expensive
divorce can be....
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AMomOf3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 37
Location: San Diego, CA USA
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:37am
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Okay..so even 5 months is good to wait.
YOUR views may change after you have this
baby. I really hope you're not "settling"
for the first guy who made you feel wanted
and loved. There are plenty of them in
the world. At least everyone says there
are...lol
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:42am
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| AMomOf3
wrote: | | Okay..so even 5 months is
good to wait. YOUR views may change after
you have this baby. I really hope you're
not "settling" for the first guy who made
you feel wanted and loved. There are
plenty of them in the world. At least
everyone says there
are...lol |
LOL its hard to find a good guy that
appretiates a girl these days and doesnt
just want sex
esp as a tenager
and even more so one that would be willing
to love you even if you have a kid.
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:47am
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No I'm not just settling for the first guy
to make me feel that way. there are TONS
of guys that make me feel that way. I
really love this guy...
It is really hard to find a great guy.
I've had my share of the bad ones and hope
he's the right one... He doesn't want sex
which DOES surprise me. He said that can
wait as long as I want it to. I make the
moves on how fast we go.... Yeah, I hadn't
seen him in MONTHS and when i saw him
again he didn't even notice my huge belly,
he notices my "beautiful" brown eyes first
lol....
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AMomOf3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 37
Location: San Diego, CA USA
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:50am
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Aww...that's sweet. He sounds great.
Maybe you found one of the "good
guys"...congrats!!!! But, please don't
rush the marriage. Take it slow. So much
of your youth is already gone being
pregnant...don't take more of it away by
marriage also.
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:53am
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yeah, someone, I don't remember who
suggested living together as friends or
something like that and see how that
goes... I think that's a great idea but
he's gonna be the one to do the moving
lol.
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-07-08 18:30pm
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i love how everyone thinks divorce is SO
expensive. The only time its expensive is
if you have lots of stuff that needs
dividing by a lawyer. us young folk dont
have much that needs dividing. and if you
can agree on stuff on your own all you
have to pay for is to file and depending
on the state its less than $100
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-07-08 18:37pm
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| ~dani~
wrote: | | i love how everyone thinks
divorce is SO expensive. The only time its
expensive is if you have lots of stuff
that needs dividing by a lawyer. us young
folk dont have much that needs dividing.
and if you can agree on stuff on your own
all you have to pay for is to file and
depending on the state its less than
$100 |
my aunt's divorce was really bad lol...
but i think when my mom divorced my
brothers dad it wasn't bad at all
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-07-08 20:48pm
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my aunt n uncles divorce was messy cuz
they owned a lot of stuff but my momis
planning to use adivorce in a box from
officemax.
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-07-08 20:51pm
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divorce in a box? i've never heard of
that.
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-07-08 21:49pm
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i dunno its something my ma saw, kinda
like taxes in a box lol
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-07-08 22:09pm
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lol.. that's kinda cool... well cool but
not cool
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AMomOf3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 37
Location: San Diego, CA USA
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Posted: 01-09-08 03:29am
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I didn't mean to say divorce was
expensive..it's just costs more to get a
divorce..a JOP is probably around $50....a
divorce..well, there's filing fees for
every motion that you have to submit to
the court..I think there's 4-6
motions...they can range in price from $20
up to $150 per motion...at least out
here...
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Mabel
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 8951
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 179
Thanked:198
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Posted: 01-09-08 13:07pm
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| ~dani~
wrote: | Listen, Ashley (right?) Im
married to the military, got married at 17
so this is gunna be the most educated
advice you get since Ive lived it the past
three years (other than the fact my
husband is my babies father)
You can get married at 16 with a note from
your doctor saying you are pregnant (here
anyway) doesnt matter who the dad is. If
the real father doesnt have any intentions
of being a father either write this guys
name on the birth certificate or have the
real father give up his rights and let
this guy formally adopt your baby.
The most mature thing you can do (if you
love this guy as much as you say you do
and its mutual) is to marry him. Even if
yall just live together having that peice
of paper saying you are married will have
you and your baby taken care of medically
and financially. You can live as friends
but be married. I personally would do it
with an agreement between the two of you
that you want to live as friends first and
take it from there instead of jumping into
a full blow marriage.
I dont agree with " just stay at home and
live off your parents and the government"
assistance that is for people that dont
have other options and are coming out of
MY tax dollars. You choose to keep your
baby so its time to grow up and deal with
adult issues. Yes leaving your family is
gunna be hard but no one says youll get
stationed far away, either way its a fact
of life, you grow up and move out. I have
lived at least 12 hours away since I was
17 and ran my household like an adult. Its
something you are suppose to do when you
become a Mommy. Because being a Mommy
means you have to be an adult.
Do what you think is right for you because
no one can make the decision for you, we
can just give you our opinions.
Deployments can suck but it something you
deal with and you will get lots of support
from the wives you meet and the command
you are stationed
with. |
I haven't read this whole thread, but I am
going to respond to this specifically -
although I can't speak for the married to
the military part.
At 16 years old it doesn't take a DOCTOR'S
note to get married. It takes court. Your
parents have to go to court with you and
you have to become legally emancipated and
have a judge rule whether you are 'mature'
enough to get married.
At age 17, your parents will need to sign
something to allow you to be married. And,
of course, at age 18 you are an 'adult'.
As far as being married and having the
baby... whoever you are married to when
that baby is born is considered the
father. PERIOD. So, if you were to marry
this boyfriend before the birth of the
baby, he would LEGALLY be the father -
even if you later divorced, he would still
LEGALLY be the father.
If you are unwed when the baby is born,
the father needs to sign the birth
certificate in the company of a notary
republic (unless he contests being the
father, then there will be DNA testing,
etc). It stands to reason if you boyfriend
wants to LEGALLY be the father, he'd just
sign the birth certificate. Lost of
hospitals have Notaries on site.
How hold is this man?
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-09-08 13:47pm
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I actually think my mom is willing to let
me get married right now..huge surprise to
me lol
Ok, my ex doesn't want his name on the
birth certificate (not yet anyways is what
he says) and my current bf does. I can
just put my current bfs name on there?
Dallas is 21, almost 22
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Eyes Wide Shut
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 7892
Location: *UPTOWN*NEW ORLEANS*, La
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Posted: 01-09-08 14:00pm
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| princess6591
wrote: | I actually think my mom is
willing to let me get married right
now..huge surprise to me lol
Ok, my ex doesn't want his name on the
birth certificate (not yet anyways is what
he says) and my current bf does. I can
just put my current bfs name on there?
Dallas is 21, almost
22 |
yes, if he is present at the birth, he can
sign the birth certificate.
You just have to make SURE it's him you
want on the certificate.
When your daughter's 18, and she wants to
know who her biological father is, it
would be easier for her to find him (if he
disappears) if she has his name on a legal
document.
But, yea, he can DEF sign the
certificate!!
Sarah
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-09-08 15:39pm
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| babymajic0506
wrote: | | princess6591
wrote: | I actually think my mom is
willing to let me get married right
now..huge surprise to me lol
Ok, my ex doesn't want his name on the
birth certificate (not yet anyways is what
he says) and my current bf does. I can
just put my current bfs name on there?
Dallas is 21, almost
22 |
yes, if he is present at the birth, he can
sign the birth certificate.
You just have to make SURE it's him you
want on the certificate.
When your daughter's 18, and she wants to
know who her biological father is, it
would be easier for her to find him (if he
disappears) if she has his name on a legal
document.
But, yea, he can DEF sign the
certificate!!
Sarah |
ok, that's awesome. we'll just have to see
how things go these next few weeks.
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Eyes Wide Shut
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 7892
Location: *UPTOWN*NEW ORLEANS*, La
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Posted: 01-09-08 15:43pm
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Yea, cuz that's a HUGE step!!
You can even leave it blank and he can
sign it at a later date. Once he gets to
know the baby a little better and you can
evaluate the situation then!!
What if your ex all of a sudden wants to
sign it and be a part of the baby's
life??
Sarah
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-09-08 16:03pm
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| babymajic0506
wrote: | Yea, cuz that's a HUGE
step!!
You can even leave it blank and he can
sign it at a later date. Once he gets to
know the baby a little better and you can
evaluate the situation then!!
What if your ex all of a sudden wants to
sign it and be a part of the baby's
life??
Sarah |
actually, I've been thinking about that.
It's been a hard decision on what to do.
I have been thinking about leaving it
blank for a while. Give my ex some time to
see if he wants to be apart of his son's
life. If not THEN have the current bf sign
it and all.
I mean. No matter what my current bf will
be daddy to him (well, pretty sure) If we
last...
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