Dating Forum - I Turn Chicken Trying to Talk to Her

Relationships > Dating Forum > I Turn Chicken Trying to Talk to Her

Q: I Turn Chicken Trying to Talk to Her

asked by: greekjohn on January 5th, 2008

Experienced User

So basically I have this big problem, well its not big its HUGE. I want to talk to this girl that I kinda like and I believe she likes me as well. At graduation she was making signals as me like kissy faces, and pointing and kinda whispering in the air to me "i want you". Me being a goof I didnt do anything. So I added her on MSN. I also have her on Facebook, I've written on her wall a few times but nothing like "hey hows it going".

So heres my problem. I'm too chicken to actuall talk to her on MSN or even write something like "hey wutsup" on Facebook. Like I can get to the point, with MSN, that I start the conversation but I turn chicken right when I go to push enter and then my heart starts racing and I close the window. Similar thing happens with Facebook when I go to write "hey hows it going?" or "hey wutsup", I get to her profile and I make it down to her wall but then I turn chicken right when its time to post the wall post.

Any advice and/or help?

Replies(14)

Jude-Love

replied on January 5th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

Ask a friend to type whatever you want? haha

greekjohn

replied on January 5th, 2008

Experienced User

yeah but then i have to be there to make sure i know what he or she says to her
and i really dont want to have to rely on a friend to talk to a girl for me, i wanna do it on my own and to be able to do it on my own in the future

lonestarguy

replied on January 5th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

Nothing is going to happen apparently until you get off the bench and get in the game. If what you said about her signaling to you and making some sort of overture, then she probably thinks the ball is in your court.

You have to summon the courage to take advantage of her attraction to you before it's too late. We all know that nervousness when you want to ask someone on a date, but you have the perfect opportunity to let her know you're interested by computer. Just push that button and sit back and wait to see what happens.

Just post on the wall post. That's all you have to do. Go slow and talk with her online to build up a relationship before asking her out. It doesn't have to be a lot to get started, but you are going to have to do it yourself.

Good luck.

s_kalb

replied on January 6th, 2008

Experienced User

There's nothing wrong about saying "Hi, how are you?". However, if you just sit there online on MSN without talking to her, she could believe you're not interested after all ! (well this depends on how important she considers MSN)

PS: once you're more self confident, get to know her better face to face Wink

you don't want to end up as "just an MSN buddy" do you Wink

greekjohn

replied on January 6th, 2008

Experienced User

Well I just sit online on MSN talking with everyone but her. I don't know why I turn chicken.
Im usually really good at giving adivce to others, even about women. Ever sinece my cousin started getting interested in girls, which was like 6 months ago I've been his Serino.
So basically I can give the advice just cant really take it on how to talk to her, because I get really nervous.
Once I can get the ball rolling then Im golden. I kinda relate it to trying to hop over a fence, I start running and I make it to the to the fence and I jump and I start climbing it but then right before I hop it I get stuck. I even relate it to one line from the "Friends" theme song, "It's like you're always stuck in second gear", like I'm there right I've let off the accelerator and I clutched and Im trying to push into third but its stuck and the more I try to shift the more resistance it finds.

s_kalb

replied on January 6th, 2008

Experienced User

Just tell yourself: what could possibly happen ? You have nothing to loose afaik.

You say: "hey there" "how are you?" "how was school?" "hmm well if you need some advice I'm right there okay?"

What will she answer? Why would she turn you down anyway? You think she'll say "go away I hate you" ? "I have a bf" ? "I figured out I'm a lesbian" ? Very unlikely. Relax, she'll answer just like anyone normal would. Maybe she won't answer at all! Because nothing proves she's behind her desk during her MSN sessions Wink

Well, even if you hear something negative, it's still better to be aware... I once got in trouble for flirting with a girl while I had no idea she was taken.

Last opinion: don't use all your ammo on MSN. it's important for you that you stay more interesting face to face than behind a computer. You see what I mean ?

greekjohn

replied on January 6th, 2008

Experienced User

Yeah man I know what you mean. Like I've herd it before, and thats what I keep telling myself.

s_kalb

replied on January 7th, 2008

Experienced User

And you'll probably not have any other advice than that, unless you actually wish her to go away. To get close to her, you have to... well... get glose to her.

Remember that she's a human being just like you and she doesn't have superpowers or more rights than you have. Besides, at this point you guys are two absolute normal individuals to each other, so there's no chickening to do, she's not a godess !
(moreover, don't hesitate to speak up your mind when you don't agree with her. It's more interesting to talk to a guy who has a point than a guy who always agrees "to not annoy her".)

Once you get across this step, things will get much smoother.

Of course, if this is also what you keep telling yourself... you know the problem, you know the solution... the next steps are up to you.

greekjohn

replied on January 7th, 2008

Experienced User

Well I wrote on her wall "Hey, hows is going" last night before I went to bed. So I guess you can say I bit the dust and just got it over and done with, however I have not gotten a response yet but its only 9:34 in the morninig so its still early

greekjohn

replied on January 7th, 2008

Experienced User

well its 9:15pm and she still hasnt written anything on my wall, I singed onto MSN and she was on and basically after about 10 minutes of being online she signed out, I dont know if she did becasue she has a class (university) and had to go or is just basically one of those girls that has the mentality like "girl with asses like mine dont talk to guys with faces like yours"

s_kalb

replied on January 8th, 2008

Experienced User

You are getting paranoid.

From what I've heard from my female friends, they don't pay much attention on what happens on their websites/MSN/e-mail boxes etc, they prefer phone calls and face to face conversations. You know maybe she didn't even notice you message. Besides, "Hey, hows is going" is maybe not personal enough for her to actually answer. You're probably not the only one who said that.
You could say "hey remember me? I'm John, I used to be in your class/school/grade/we used to talk during pauses/... . how's your diploma, what are you doing right now? see ya later, bye" -- aaaand if she doesn't answer, try the same on MSN. Nothing really proves what she thinks of you unless she tells you, it's maybe just a misunderstanding.

Your mistake is that you just put all your hopes on one message on a virtual space whereas you took conclusions for not responding the same day. That's just going to frustrate you Wink

greekjohn

replied on January 8th, 2008

Experienced User

I wouldn't say I'm getting paranoid.

But anyways she just wrote on my wall late tonight and well I wrote broke back and well we'll see what happens next.

She was like "I'd doing pretty good, how about yourself?" and I was like "I'm alright, just getting back to the going to school routine "

s_kalb

replied on January 9th, 2008

Experienced User

were you close at school, or just "I know who she is" ? depending on that you could get easier on the way to e.g. her phone number maybe Wink

from what I've learned I know it's easier to get close to someone you can hear on the phone than someone you get popup messages from. how close are/were you guys?

greekjohn

replied on January 10th, 2008

Experienced User

We were not that close at school. We were way closer then "I know who she is" but more distant then regular friends. Like we would talk but not all the time, so if I were to put in on a scale from 1-10 where 1 being not close at all and 10 being attatched at the hip, I would say 5.

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